Trusting The Magic
by paramagic310
Summary: Not being able stop phasing was the final straw for Leah. She tries to end it and fails when a stranger intervenes. Leah imprints on him. Follow along as Leah Clearwater tries to embrace her tribe's magic for once instead of rebelling against it. Leah/OC
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1-LEAH'S P.O.V.

I have screamed until my veins collapsed.  
I've waited as my time's elapsed.  
Now, all I do is live with so much fate.  
I've wished for this, I've bitched at that.  
I've left behind this little fact:  
You cannot kill what you did not create.  
I've gotta say what I've gotta say  
And then I swear I'll go away  
But I can't promise you'll enjoy the noise.  
I guess I'll save the best for last.  
My future seems like one big past.  
You're left with me 'cause you left me no choice.

I push my fingers into my eyes.  
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache.  
If the pain goes on,  
I'm not gonna make it.

"Duality"

Slipknot

I'm checking out…today.

I can't even produce tears as I drive out of La Push for the last time. _This is it_, I think to myself as the trees blur past me. I'm driving to my destiny. There won't be any last letter or any dramatics like that. I've refused to think about it in wolf form or around Edward Cullen. I have now officially hit rock bottom. Everyone has his or her limit. Everyone has a point where they're no longer strong enough. Thankfully most people don't ever reach that point. The majority of the world doesn't ever get more than they can handle. I'm not most people.

I have the plan and the motivation. I also have the guts to go through with it. I've done my homework…gotten the necessary equipment…and handled this like any other bit of business. That's all it is anyway…business. Killing is my pack's business. We destroy vampires to protect humans. Today I'm going to kill myself simply to protect myself.

If I was to trace the end, Sam was the beginning. I was nineteen and in love with Sam Uley. We here high school sweethearts and we were going to get married. It was your typical textbook romance and that was more than good enough for me. I believed in us even when he disappeared. When he came back I still believed it despite all of the changes. Looking back, Sam's disappearance was the beginning of the end. I just didn't know it.

Sam broke my heart by falling in love with my cousin, Emily. In one fail swoop I lost my fiancée in Sam and my best friend in Emily. Of course she didn't return his sentiment…at first. That didn't matter. Sam was no longer mine whether he was hers or not. I felt betrayed and heartbroken. This unleashed the new Leah…the bitter harpy everyone knows and loves. Even when I thought a bear had attacked Emily I couldn't forgive her. No shit…the woman I considered my sister was nearly killed and I couldn't bring myself to visit her in the hospital. I was broken beyond repair. Or so I thought.

I turn off the highway onto the dirt trail I'd found praying my old Mercury Cougar would make it down the rough terrain the mile into the clearing. I should've know it would…it's as tough as I am. Or…as tough as I used to be. This place is perfect. It's a small clearing surrounded by the usual trees, ferns, and moss. I found it while on one of my many solo runs a few weeks ago. It's nothing special to look at…just another clearing in the Washington forest. It's the location that makes it special.

This clearing is outside the patrol area of either pack. It's also away from the Cullen's house. Privacy central for what I'm about to do. There won't be anyone to stop me today. The nearest civilization is an RV park a couple of miles away that's nearly deserted during the week. This clearing is perfect for me right now. I'm free and clear. I'm going to get what I want…the privacy necessary to kill myself.

My thoughts drift back to my shattered life. I figured out what Sam's problem was, of course, the moment I phased myself…right along with Seth. Not only did that not help my broken heart but also it gave me a whole new set of problems. I was now a shape shifter. I was the first…and only…female shape shifter in Quileute history. I was a freak among the freaks. This was my first clue something…other than the obvious…was wrong with me.

I shake off my woolgathering as I come to a stop in the middle of the clearing. I put the car in park and climb out. I take a moment to gather up my shoulder length hair and clip it up so it will be out of my way before opening the trunk. Inside is a long length of rubber hose I found in a junk pile behind my dad's garage, rolled up and tied with an old piece of rope. Dad would have another heart attack if he knew what I was doing.

My next step on the road to damnation was when my period was late. No, being pregnant wouldn't have been the end of the world…if that had been the case. I hadn't been intimate since Sam and my monthly cycle just…stopped. I wasn't pregnant. I couldn't become pregnant. Sam had explained imprinting to all of us after Jared imprinted on Kim. He believed it was to ensure the shape shifter gene was passed to the next generation. Billy Black believed it was not only to make wolves…but make _stronger_ wolves. That explained why Sam didn't imprint on me and why I became a wolf. I was menopausal at nineteen…could my life get any worse?

Yeah…it could and it did. My dad had a heart attack one afternoon and died the same day after seeing me phase. I didn't know he was watching. I had gotten pissed off at Seth for something or other and had made it to the backyard before I phased. I didn't know he could see me out the kitchen window. Harry Clearwater…Quileute council member and the only man I ever loved besides Sam…was dead. He dropped dead of a heart attack after seeing me phase. He was my biggest fan. He was the one that thought I was destined for great things. Seth was devastated by his sudden death. Being the one that killed him, I was never the same.

Jacob was going through his own depression about this time over Bella Swan. Not only had Bella chosen someone over Jacob, but also she chose a vampire…our mortal enemy. I heard something in his thoughts once. _Would a bullet to the head kill me or just leave me with a huge mess to clean up?_ Morbid…yes. I thought about telling him so, but I was enough grief to my pack. So instead I filed this thought away…just in case.

In our wolf form, we could hear each other's thoughts. You name it…I _heard_ it. I head everything in these boys' heads from baseball to sex. The ones with imprints were the worst. They thought about that specific girl all the time. Can you imagine being in Sam's head and hearing him think about Emily? Yeah…that really helped my harpy image. I became a bitch to live with. Being bombarded by those images…of Sam doing things to her he used to only do with me…was enough to push me over the edge. No one wanted to patrol with me. I was the outcast of the pack.

The Newborn War gave me even more to think about. Jake was injured when I decided I wanted to take on a vampire by myself. Thank God no one saw what I was _really_ thinking. I wasn't trying to prove anything. I just saw an opportunity out of this pain and I took it. Jake is too damn noble sometimes. I survived. Jake did too…after breaking nearly half the bones in his body. That gave me more reasons to be depressed. I was the weak link in the pack…and I inadvertently showed it.

Jake took off after that. He spent months in his wolf form…giving in to the animal in us all. I considered it…but decided against it. I couldn't give myself in to my instincts like Jake could. Maybe it's proof of his bloodline. I don't know. He came back for the wedding and proceeded to throw a shit-fit when he found out Bella and Edward planned to have sex on their honeymoon. Well…duh! What did he expect?

Things got heated up with the pack when Bella came back from her honeymoon pregnant. Jacob…still in love with Bella…refused Sam's order to attack the Cullen's. Sam was afraid of what the baby could become. Instead, Jake broke away from Sam's pack to keep from being forced to bend to his will. Jacob…the descent of the true alpha…had the power. Seth went right behind him. It didn't surprise me…Seth was a true ally to the Cullen's and had a serious man crush on Jake. That stopped the attack. Once it was decided we were going to discuss this with the elders, I phased back to human and thought about it.

Seth was with Jake. That was reason number one to change packs. Jake was an alpha and as a shape shifter I have to belong somewhere meaning I had an alternative to Sam. That's number two. If I were a member of Jake's pack, I wouldn't be in Sam's head. That sealed it. I went to the lair of my enemies the next morning and joined with Jake and Seth. It wasn't easy. Neither one of them was thrilled with having me. They finally allowed me though. I guess one more misfit couldn't hurt.

Leaving Sam's pack helped. I actually thought I was on the road to healing once that started. Jake and I were actually getting close. Not imprint close…but close. We could share each other's pain. I was ready to help him when Bella died…which was likely. Of course that changed when not only did she not die but also _he_ imprinted…on Bella and Edward's half vampire/half human baby, Renesmee. I didn't feel betrayed. In all honesty, I knew Jake would be all right. I just felt alone.

I hung around for Jake and my new pack. Jake…needing someone that could be the hard ass he couldn't…made me his second-in-command. His 'beta' as Bella once told him. Just like with Sam's pack, I stayed on the fringes of this pack too. I didn't like vampires and my head wasn't a nice place to be. Embry and Quil defected to the pack too. They took orders just like Jake told them too. I tried not to give them many…but the ones I did they took. I could never be an alpha…not that I ever wanted to be. This was as close as I'd ever get.

We ran with Sam during the confrontation with the Volturi. Jake was set to run with Renesmee if things went bad so the rest of us joined up with our former alpha. We were all convinced we were going to die….especially Sam. He had every wolf…regardless of age…in that clearing. Personally, it didn't matter to me. Living…dying…it was all the same. Of course the Volturi backed down. They weren't going to, but the sight of seventeen wolves ready to attack made them pause long enough for Carlisle to explain what was going on. Once again, I missed my chance.

I made a decision once the Volturi were taken care of. I wanted out of this life. I wanted to stop phasing, grow old, and live my life. I wanted to find someone to love, marry, have children, and forget the past few years. Surely life could give me that. I had fulfilled my duty. The packs had a sixteen other wolves…they didn't need me. I wasn't cut out for this existence. It was time to get on with my life.

I blink back tears as I kneel on the ground and feed about six inches of hose into the tailpipe of my car. I then use the rope that was holding the bundle to tie the hose to the bumper. This way it won't move. I burn my hand but I don't care. It'll heal. Once this is done, I stand up and open the back door of my car. I crack the window and run the hose through before shutting the door. I've got duct tape in the trunk…never leave home without it…so I finish sealing the window.

I've rolled this over and over in my head. The only way I can figure for a shape shifter to die is either by vampire venom or by stopping our heart from beating. No blood flow…no extremely fast healing. The best way I can think to do this is to place myself somewhere that has no oxygen. My heart will stop…I will die. Simple as that. I've picked my poison…carbon monoxide.

I'm doing this because I can't stop phasing. Not I won't stop or I'm having trouble stopping…I physically _can't_ stop. The longest I can go is a week before I begin to tremor and I have to run into the woods before phasing happens involuntarily. The pain begins by day five and on day six I can't even get out of bed. I've had moments where I couldn't even get out of the house before phasing happened. There would be no trigger. I wouldn't be angry or frightened. Hell, I was passed out drunk once on day seven when it happened. For seven years I've tried almost every week to stop phasing. The pain is horrible. It literally feels like I'll burst out of my skin. Painful like my first phase. Even then I didn't give up.

I went to anyone I could think of for help. Paul and Jared had stopped phasing so I went there first. It was a mistake. They assumed it was because of my temper and ignored me telling them about the pain and phasing against my will. Paul was especially cruel, telling me it was because I was a "bitch on wheels" who couldn't control her temper. I went to Jake's dad next. Billy Black was stumped. There had never been a case of a shifter who couldn't "give up the wolf". Jake had no idea either, though he didn't give me as much shit as Sam's pack. At least the Black's believed me…not that it helped.

I finally gave in and went to the one person I thought might have any chance of helping me…Carlisle Cullen. True he is a vampire…but he's also a doctor. Not only that, he has a fascination with my tribe and our ability to shift. The fact it's genetic and not caused by venom like a vampire or a true werewolf is of profound interest to him. Carlisle gladly met me in his study…soundproof thank God…and listened to my tale of woe. I may not like them…but the entire Cullen family has never been anything but patient with me. He promised me he would let me know if he found something. He did.

"Leah," Carlisle began as we sat down two weeks later, "I've done all the research I believe possible. I'm afraid I have some good and bad news." "Ok, Doc," I reply, "which do I get first?" Carlisle took a deep breath. "I believe I know why you can't stop phasing," he begins. "And that is both my good and bad news."

"Well?" I prompt. Carlisle shifts uncomfortably. "With the assistance of Billy Black I have poured over your legends to see if I could find anything about your situation. Every wolf I've ever seen, heard, or read about that stopped phasing had one thing in common." "They were all guys," I cut in. Carlisle shrugs. "Well…yes," he admits, "but I already figured that. I was looking for something else." He peers closely at me. "I found it Leah."

Carlisle gives me a sad look. "Think Leah," he goes on, "what do Paul and Jared have in common?" "They're all in Sam's pack?" I ask. "What else?" he presses. I shrug. "They are all giving up phasing for one reason," Carlisle explains sadly, "to age with their imprints."

"So I can't stop phasing because I don't have an imprint?" I ask. Carlisle shrugs. "It's the only thing I can come up with," he admits, "I believe the imprinting magic of your tribe won't let you age without your imprint." A tear slips down my face. "Carlisle," I choke, "we don't believe I can imprint." Carlisle's head drops. "We don't know for sure Leah," he says softly.

"It's not possible," I explain, "if I was imprintable, Sam or one of the other wolves would've been the one." Carlisle frowns at my words. "There's also the fact I can't have children," I continue, "if I can't pass on the wolf gene there's no point in imprinting." "There could be more to imprinting than reproduction," Carlisle jumps in, "no one is really sure why your kind imprints." I begin crying in front of him…something I never would do in front of a vampire before. "It doesn't matter," I finally whisper as I jump up and run out of the house without so much as a "thank you".

"It doesn't matter," I whisper to myself as I get into the driver's seat and shut the door. You can bet your sweet ass I lock it too. I can't smell carbon monoxide even with my enhanced scent but I can feel the warmth of the car's exhaust. I've been researching this for four days now. I can't take pills. I can't shoot myself. I can't hang myself…or jump off a cliff…or run in front of a 18-wheeler. This is the only way I can think of. I know no one else will help me with this, so I have to do this alone. This seems like the surest way to get this done.

I turn off the radio and let my head rest against the back of my seat. Imprinting…the bane of my existence. I couldn't have a normal life as a human because of imprinting and I can't have a normal life as a wolf because of it. Right now I would take either…just to be normal. It's not fair. When I lost Sam, I lost my first and only love. I lost the man I had given my heart to. He got a replacement…I didn't. Now nature is going to make sure I live forever in this pain…if I don't change things myself.

Knowing what I know now, I can see Sam couldn't be everything to me. When I was nineteen…and still a human…yeah. Now…there's more to me. I've grown…matured…changed. Sam and I could've matured together then…but not now. Now I'm different. He's different. Sam got an imprint to help him with this but not me. I wonder what it would be like to have an imprint. What would I want him to be?

I know it's pathetic to have a fantasy about a man that doesn't exist but I'm pathetic. So it fits. I know it would be a _him_. I've never been interested in women despite what people say about me. Being muscular and having short hair for a while got the lesbian rumors flying. So did the angry bitch attitude. I also don't want a Quileute. Call me crazy, but I guess living on a reservation has made me jaded. Tall, dark, and handsome is overrated. Someone with a lighter skin tone against my darker one would look beautiful I think.

I think I could be happy with one of the Cullen's…if they weren't vampires. They're all smart, well mannered, and pretty hot to be the undead. He'd have to be tall. Not Jacob tall…but taller than I am. I don't want to look like an Amazon next to him. He'd have to at least be healthy. He wouldn't have to have the muscles the rest of the boys here have…but I don't want him out of shape. He'd have to have all his teeth. Light brown hair…or blond…hell, I'd take red. I want him physically more opposite than I am so no dark hair. Any eye color but brown. Green would be cool…so would blue. Yeah, I'm pathetic…dreaming about being someone's Indian Princess.

I wince as my head starts hurting. That's good though…it means the carbon monoxide is working. I'd want a Renaissance man. Hell, this is my fantasy…I can make him anything I want. I'd want someone I could talk to and debate with. Someone who reads something besides _Sports Illustrated_ or _Penthouse_. He can like sports…hell, I like sports. It is a man I want…so he can do "man stuff". I'd want someone who could dance…and speak more than one language. I'd want him to look good in a suit…or jeans…or nothing.

Yeah, I'd be having sex with my imprint…lots and _lots_ of sex. I'd make love to him in bed with the sound of the rain hitting the roof and we'd fuck on the trunk of my car in the woods with his pants around his ankles and my skirt bunched up around my waist with my panties tugged to the side. I've envisioned him good looking and strong…of course I'd want to sleep with him. Of course he'd be good too. I wouldn't have the patience to teach someone. Yeah, I don't want a child like Quil and Jacob got…I want a _man_.

He'd have to be a warrior. It would take a stronger than average man to stand by me. He wouldn't have to fight _for_ me…but he'd fight _with _me. Shit…that eliminates any human I could imagine. There aren't any more wolves I haven't met and I don't like vampires. Maybe that's why I can't imprint. Nature seems to think I'm _too_ tough for an imprint. Well, nature is wrong. I yawn…beginning to get sleepy. It won't be long now.

My only regret is my family and my new pack. Mom and Seth are going to be devastated. They won't understand. Mom had Dad and now has Charlie. Seth is still without an imprint but at least he _can_. No one took away his choices. My eyelids begin to droop and I feel tears beginning to run down my cheeks again. Jake will be without his second-in-command but he has Renesmee to take away his pain. I wish there was someone to take away _mine_. Alas, there is not. That's why I'm sitting where I am now waiting for death. _Please God_, I think, _take care of Mom, Seth, Charlie, and the pack. Don't let them suffer for long._

I slump forward on the steering wheel and try to look at the clock on the radio. My vision is blurry now. Since I have nothing else to do but wait I go back to my fantasy imprint. I might as well enjoy my last thoughts instead of dwelling on my pathetic life. He'd be a scholar. He'd be good with his hands. He'd be tender to our children and a tiger in the bedroom. He'd be everything…if he existed.

The world is now going fuzzy as my brain loses access to oxygen. My heart is beginning to pound in my ears. It's working. Let's get it over with. I try to look at my gas gauge…though I know I filled up before I left the reservation this morning. I can't see it…it's too blurry. I let my eyes close again as blackness begins to overtake me. It's been so long since I've had any peace I've forgotten what it feels like. This is as close to peace as I can remember.

I hear a knocking sound coming from far away. It's my only warning. I flinch as a black fist flies through the glass of my driver's side window. The sound causes me to fully open my eyes as a rush of cool air blows against my cheek. "Stay with me darlin," a male voice says. What the hell? I open my eyes and see…through the blur…the arm wrap around my door and yank it off with a grunt and a scream of protesting metal. I inhale a huge gulp of air. I'm expecting to smell either the sweet stench of vampire or the woodsy aroma of one of my pack mates. No human could tear my door off…so it must be someone I know.

Instead I'm met with something completely foreign to my nose. It _sort of_ smells like a vampire…but not really. This person smells like gun oil, clover, and just a hint of peppermint. He smells…really nice actually. "Hold on darlin," the voice says again. The voice reminds me of molasses and magnolias…definitely southern. Warm arms wrap around my back and under my legs and I'm pulled out of the car. Warm? No one feels warm to me…not even my pack mates. Who the hell is this?

I blink…trying to clear my vision…but it's not happening. The arms place my gently on the ground. _No_, I think. My body is crying out for those arms for some reason. I struggle and finally get my eyes fully open. There's still too much blur. A hand pushes my hair out of my face. It's black and I smell leather. Gloves? No one in my pack or the Cullen family wears gloves. My vision is still blurry and I'm fighting to breathe. The pressure on my chest is overwhelming me.

I can't see anything. The arms pick me up again. "I've got to get you to the hospital," the voice says. I begin trying to throw my body around, trying to protest this. "Hush," the voice says in that smooth, syrupy voice, "you're going to be alright." My tears return now. I can't let the hospital see me. Between the fact I'm a fast healing shape shifter with a body temperature that should mean I'm dead and the fact I tried to kill myself I can't go to the hospital.

Why? Why did this guy decide to be a hero today of all days? How did he find me and how did he get to me? I don't have time to ponder that because I'm dropped on the ground…hard. I whimper as my body flops unceremoniously onto the forest floor. A snarl echoes from above me. Wait…a _snarl_? Is there a vampire here? I begin breathing faster, trying to get enough oxygen to make my brain work again. It's then I smell them. Not vampires…my pack. The cavalry is here.

I smell the scents that belong to Embry and Seth. I would know their scents anywhere. Slowly I open my eyes again trying to see what's going on. I hear another snarl come from above me and finally get some of my sight back. I can see black harness boots…like motorcycle riders wear…under blue jeans next to my head and I realize the wearer is standing over me. He's also the one that's snarling. "Two questions," my would-be rescuer snarls, "who's going for help and who's first?"

Seth immediately begins howling. Shit, that means he's calling for reinforcements. They can't attack with him standing over me. "You want her fleabag," the voice continues, "you're going to have to come through me." Embry begins inching forward, looking for an angle. Another growl comes from over me and I turn to look up. I see the mystery guy's crouch get deeper. I weakly reach towards the blur that smells like Seth. I hear him whine as the three are locked in a stalemate.

I didn't want this. I didn't want to be found until I was already dead. I didn't want anyone else to suffer because I'm alive. Now my pack is about to slaughter my would be rescuer. I don't know who…or what…this guy is, but he did come to my rescue whether I wanted him to or not. Well, I also know he smells _really_ good. My chest is hurting with an unknown pain. It's not a sharp pain like I can't breathe. It's like a _pull_. It's like my heart is trying to tug its way out. I've never felt anything like it.

The dizziness is beginning to return and I feel the blackness beginning to overtake me. There's a crashing sound coming from the other side of the car and I hear the stranger hiss. "Get away from her," comes a voice I recognize…Emmett. The Cullen's are here? "Like hell," comes the reply from the stranger. "We mean her no harm," comes another voice I recognize…Carlisle. "We're leaving," my rescuer snaps back, "she needs to be at the hospital." "I'm a doctor," Carlisle replies calmly.

The stranger laughs…and for some reason I feel much better about my situation. It sounds sarcastic…but for some reason I feel at ease. "Let me guess," the stranger says, "a vampire doctor. Next you'll tell me you're Carlisle Cullen." "At your service," Carlisle replies. "Prove it," the stranger snaps, "where was your coven in 1970?" There's a short pause. "Whitehorse, British Columbia," Carlisle replies. "Who was the first of your coven you changed?" the stranger questions. "Edward was the first in my _family_," Carlisle replies, "Esme was next if you're wondering." "Shit," the stranger says softly, "it _is_ you. What about the wolves?" the stranger asks. He believes him? He _knows_ Carlisle? "They will not harm you," Carlisle promises.

I reach blindly and wrap my hand around the top of the stranger's boot. He freezes at my touch and the pressure in my chest vanishes. "What's wrong with her?" Emmett asks. "Carbon monoxide poisoning," the stranger replies, "she needs oxygen…and a hyperbaric chamber if there's one close by." "We'll take her home," Carlisle tells him. "I can take care of her there." "I'll carry her then," the stranger says, "I've been looking for you anyway Dr. Cullen." Warm arms pick me up once again and cradle me to the chest of the unknown being. "We gonna have any problems?" Emmett's voice chimes in. "No," the stranger promises, "like I said I've been looking for the Cullen family. I only want to talk."

I feel wind against my body that tells me we're moving. "She going to be alright?" another voice questions. It's Jasper…I recognize the twang in his voice. "I don't know," the stranger admits in what sounds like a sad voice. "I think she'll pull through," Carlisle chimes in, "Leah is strong." I want to start crying all over again at that. "What's your name stranger?" Emmett asks as he runs beside me. "Julian," the stranger replies, "but y'all can call me Jude."

Julian? I don't know any Julian. I don't know anyone named Jude either. Who is he and why is he here? Not only that, why do I feel so good being in his arms? I don't have time to think about this for long. One yawn is all I can muster before I slip into oblivion.


	2. Chapter 2

(A/N Wow...Leah's pretty popular. The traffic to this story blew away my other one. Thank you all that have read and put me on alert. Even bigger thanks to those of you that reviewed. That tells me there's at least 6 people on this planet that completely rock!! Now Leah meets Jude. Wonder how that will go...)

**I don't own Twilight. If I did, I'd have shafted someone besides Leah and Tanya.**

CHAPTER 2-LEAH'S P.O.V.

_I know I dreamed you a sin and a lie  
I have my freedom but I don't have much time  
Faith has been broken, tears must be cried  
Lets do some living after we die_

"Wild Horses"

The Rolling Stones_  
_

The overpowering scent of vampires wakes me with a start. I sit up…gasping for air as the burning sugar stench assaults my nose. I'm wearing a hospital gown and an oxygen mask. My vision has returned and my head is killing me. There's an IV in my arm. I'm surprised I'm not tied down…not that it would work. I look around and recognize where I am…the Cullen's. I should've known. It's not like they could take me to the hospital. This is the study they converted to a delivery room for Bella. Carlisle keeps his medical equipment here. I wonder if this is the same table Bella delivered Renesmee on. Ewww.

"I should kill you myself," comes a vampire voice from the corner of the room. I turn and my eyes meet Bella's. "What were you thinking Leah?" she asks in a low voice. I'm guessing she's trying her best to keep her tone even. "Butt out leech," I reply firmly. Bella huffs in irritation. "You almost _died_," Bella goes on, "_and_ you almost got someone killed in the process. You want to kill yourself…that's your business. However, I know you Leah. Had you taken someone with you…someone innocent…it would've haunted you."

Of course she's right. My pain is my own and I've never had the desire to share it. Maybe that's part of my problem: I keep shit bottled up inside. Bella hit the nail right on the head though about me not wanting to take anybody with me. Being responsible for Dad's death and almost responsible for Jake's broke me in ways nothing else could have. I actually shudder now that I think about it. My head actually bows in shame at the thought I almost caused someone's death trying to cause my own.

"Where is that guy anyway?" I ask trying to distract her...mainly because she's right. My chest hurts. The pressure in my chest I felt earlier has returned...with a vengeance. "He went to get his things so he can stay here for a few days," Bella replies, "I hope you at least plan on thanking him." "I didn't ask him to get involved," I snarl. Bella rolls her eyes at me. "Why's he going to be staying here?" I ask. "He's been looking for us," Bella explains, "from what I've gathered Julian…that's his name…has been searching for this family ever since Renesmee was born."

Well shit…another Nessie groupie. Of course my knight in shining armor would be after baby Cullen. There's been a load of vampires…especially male…calling on her. Even when she was a child they've been sniffing around. Edward and Jake usually sent them packing in a hurry. For some reason though this one causes the pressure in my chest to get worse.

We're silent for a couple of minutes before Bella tries again. "I wish you had told me it was this bad," she says softly. I don't respond. Bella sighs. "Leah," she continues with equal softness, "I know you're hurting. I also know you're important to this family and to your pack. You're also one of the strongest people I know. If it's that bad…" she lets it drop. Hell, I think _she's_ the one that's about to start crying. I fold my arms over my chest and proceed to sulk. "What was it?" Bella asks. "What was the straw the broke the camel's back so to speak?"

I don't really want to talk to Bella about this…especially sitting on this table in a hospital gown wearing an oxygen mask with an IV in my arm. Bella…even before she was a Cullen…was always sympathetic to me whether I deserved it or not. I'm sure she would listen if I wanted to open up. The problem is I don't know if I want to…or even should.

"You wouldn't understand," I grumble. "Try me," she challenges. That's pretty much the answer I expected. "Ok," I growl, "did you know I was trying to stop phasing?" "Yeah," she admits, "and that you weren't having any success." "I _can't_," I explain, "not I can't control it or I keep getting pissed off. I flat out can't. If I go too long without phasing I shift whether I want to or not. I've been trying for years now and I'm tired Bella. I've given all I can give to my tribe and to my pack and I no longer want any part of this. This was my _only_ way out and I even fucked that up. I'm kind of at a loss here."

I sigh softly. "After not having any luck getting any help from Sam's pack, Billy, Jake, or the Council I went to Carlisle," I explain. "And the only thing we can come up with is the only people that have been able to stop phasing are the ones that do it to age with their imprints. No one else has ever given up phasing for any other reason. As you well know we don't seem to think I can imprint. So to sum it up I'm destined to live forever like this. I can't Bella. I can't live like this forever. I _refuse_ to live like this."

Bella listens without comment. Once I finish she moves to sit on the edge of the exam table I'm on. "Leah," she says softly, "I'm sorry. I wish I had known what you were thinking. However, I _do_ think you can imprint. I think there's someone out there for you just like all the other wolves. I don't think the magic would leave you out." "All signs point to that," I point out, "none of the other wolves imprinted on me…not able to get pregnant…" "That's because _your_ imprint hasn't show themselves," Bella interrupts, "and when he does everything will work out. Leah, killing yourself would've meant you missed out on that chance."

I snort. "Who even says I want to imprint?" Bella gives me a hard look. "You do Leah," she says firmly, "I can see it in your eyes. Every time you see Jake and Nessie you get this look of longing. Imprinting or not, everyone wants someone to love and to love them." "Yeah," I snort, "I want to be a blabbering idiot like the rest of the imprinted wolves." "You both need and want someone to love Leah," Bella says sadly, "deny it if you want…I know the truth." I have no response to that.

I hear a vehicle pull up into the Cullen's yard and the pull in my chest seems to get stronger. At the same time there's a soft knock at the door and Carlisle comes in. "Leah, are you alright?" he asks softly. "Yeah," I admit, "my throat's dry and my chest hurts but other than that I'm good." Carlisle nods and begins checking my vital signs. "You were lucky Julian came along," he comments. "Who's Julian?" I croak…playing dumb. I see Bella roll her eyes out of the corner of mine. "The young man that pulled you out of the car," he explains, "he's a hybrid…like Nessie."

Hybrid? Well, Bella didn't say he was a vampire…I just assumed it. That explains why he smelled so different and why he felt warm to me. Nessie feels warm to Jake. It also explains how he was able to punch through my window and yank my door off the hinges. Unfortunately it also explains why he's here…Renesmee. "He one of Nahuel's brothers?" I ask. Carlisle and Bella both shake their head. "I haven't heard his story," Carlisle answers, "but he looks nothing like Nahuel." I nod absently. From what I remember of Nahuel, that voice I heard…twangy and Rhett Butler sexy… didn't sound anything like him.

I groan and flop back down on the pillow, wincing as I realize it smells like vampire too. "Why's he here?" I ask. "Renesmee…I think," Bella replies, "like Nahuel I'm sure he's been made aware of the fact she's one of a kind." My chest aches at those words…though I don't know why. Hell, I just figured that out myself. I guess that means he won't be here long…which is probably for the best. That thought makes the pull in my chest go into overdrive. This is nuts!

"Jake would kill him," I comment. "No he wouldn't," Bella replies, "Julian has been nothing but polite. Renesmee introduced Jacob as her boyfriend and Edward says Julian has been nothing but accepting of that." That seems to ease the aching in my chest by a touch. "What if Nessie decides she might like him?" I ask. Carlisle shrugs. "Jacob hasn't had any competition so far," he comments, "I doubt Julian could change that…even if he is like her."

"Leah," Carlisle says softly, "I'm sorry if my theory is what pushed you to this." I turn my head to look at him. "No," I admit, "I would've either figured it out on my own or just gave up on looking for an answer. This has been a long time coming Carlisle. Please don't blame yourself for this." He doesn't respond. His eyes are far away. "She's right Carlisle," Bella says softly as she puts a comforting hand on his shoulder. Carlisle gives a grave nod. "I just wish you had come to one of us," he says softly.

Nothing more is said because there's another knock on the door. "Leah," Jacob says as he burst through wearing nothing but cut-off shorts, "damn it Leah…you scared the hell out of me." I roll my eyes and sit up to greet my alpha. "What the hell were you thinking?" he yells. "Not now Jacob," Carlisle says softly, "Leah needs to rest. She's had a traumatic experience and we still need to decide the best way to treat this." "She needs our help Jake," Bella adds, "we need to find a way to help her." "I vote for a good swift kick in the ass," Jacob grumbles as he plops down next to the wall.

Wow…he's tense. I wonder if it's the newcomer or me. For all I know it could be both. Jake is sitting there against the wall with his jaw clenched and his fist balled tightly. I consider his posture for a moment. It's not me…I know it. Only his imprint could get that strong a reaction out of him. Jake lives for Renesmee…and only Renesmee. This not the reaction I would expect Jake to have. He wouldn't joke…no. But he would be serious. He would talk…not yell and not threaten. Looks like the half-breed had Jake rattled.

"What's wrong oh mighty alpha," I growl, "the competition scare you?" _That's_ the attitude I'm famous for. It looks like the bitch is back. All three sets of eyes turn towards me. One look into Jake's eyes tells me I'm right. "Oh my god," I blurt out, "that's it! You're scared of this new half breed." "I am not," Jacob snorts. "Now Jake," Bella chimes in, "you didn't see the look on your face when Julian was introduced." Bella gets an evil smirk on her face. "The alpha _really _has competition?" I ask. Bella shrugs. "I don't know," she admits, "I haven't talked to Nessie since he got here. However I know that look she's giving him. She maybe interested."

This bothers me for two reasons. The first…and most important…is because Renesmee is Jacob's imprint. She is literally the sun that lights up his world. Yeah, it sounds corny but it's completely true. I've seen into both the mind of Jake and Sam's pack. The way a wolf feels about their imprint is so intense it's almost scary. I've never heard of an imprint not being with their shifter. It just doesn't happen. We honestly don't know what would happen if the imprint refused them. Probably more pain than any of them could take.

The second reason is…well I don't know what the second reason is. All I know is it bothers me. When Bella said that Nessie maybe interested the pain inside of me took my breath away. I guess that maybe I'm just feeling grateful or possessive of the mystery man. He _did_ save my life rather I wanted to be saved. In today's world I can imagine someone walking into the woods, finding me, and just walking away even though it was obvious what was going on. That says something. I doubt Bella was serious. She doesn't give Jake the hell about imprinting that Edward does…but she does like to tease him.

Hell, whom am I kidding? My mystery savior probably thinks I'm a freak…even without knowing about the pack. I feel my face scrunch up as the tears threaten to show themselves again. That was the point of parking in the clearing. I wanted them to stop. I wanted the pain to stop. I hate what I've become and I want it gone…by any means necessary.

There's a quick knock on the door and Seth walks in. His eyes are hard as he takes me in and I fight to glare back. Seth's been angry with me before…but this is something entirely different. He doesn't look hurt. He looks…betrayed. No one says anything. Seth opens his mouth to say something but closes it before he can utter a sound. He crosses the room in three giant strides, pulls me up to a sitting position, and crushes me against his bare chest in a fierce hug. I hug him back as we both cry against each other. "Don't do that to me again Leah," he sobs.

"I'm sorry Seth," I whisper against his chest. He only squeezes me tighter. "I mean it Leah," he growls, "don't _ever_ do that to me again." I only hug him tighter. "Leah," he continues while losing his growl, "you almost destroyed us…_all_ of us with that stunt. If it's _that_ bad…" he lets it drop. "I'm sorry," I say again to him. He kisses the top of my head and just holds me.

"How did you guys know?" I ask. "Alice," Carlisle replies. "I thought she couldn't see us," I comment. "She can't," he explains, "but she can see herself just fine. Alice was checking her visions so she could plan her wardrobe and it showed her going to a funeral later this week. Everyone she _could_ see was sad, so that meant it was for someone she knew. She then made the decision to read the newspaper first thing every morning to see whom it was and had a vision of every headline. _Local Woman Commits Suicide in Woods_, was the headline. That's how she knew it was you and where you would be…though Julian was a complete surprise." I nod at Carlisle and wipe my eyes. Seth is acting like he may never let me go.

"What are we going to do about this Leah?" Jake calls from the wall. "What _can_ we do?" I ask. "It's not like I can go to a shrink." Everyone's quiet at that comment. Seth cradles me like a child. "We need to get Leah living," Bella comments, "she needs to enjoy life." I snort at that. "You need some form of therapy Leah," Carlisle replies, "this was a very well thought out and very well executed plan. I would hate to see what happened if you got the chance again." "She won't," Jake call, "if one of us has to sit on the toilet while she's in the shower…it won't happen again."

"I can't wait till you meet Jude," Seth says in a more cheerful voice. I grit my teeth. Meeting the man that stopped me from killing myself puts my nerves on edge. "Does he know about…us?" I ask. "He does," Carlisle jumps in, "I thought it prudent to explain why he was almost attacked by Seth and Embry." "All Alice told us was you were in danger," Seth explains, "I didn't notice your car until we were squared off waiting for Carlisle and Emmett to back us up. We couldn't attack without fear of hurting you."

Seth lets his head drop. "Embry and I already apologized to him." Those two…apologizing…would've been a sight to see. "What am I going to say?" I ask. "_Thank you_ will be enough," Jacob says from across the room. I can pick up the tension from him every time the new hybrid is mentioned. I should be indifferent to it, but I'm not. If anything I have the urge to throw this stinky pillow at him.

"I agree thank you would be sufficient," Carlisle agrees. "It's not like Julian has asked for anything." "Edward said Jude didn't want to make a big deal out of it," Bella comments, "he sounds modest. I know I wouldn't want anything made out of it…for both my sake and Leah's." "Still," Seth chimes in, "be strong and tell him 'thank you'." I sniff and nod. Ok, saying, "thank you" is do-able.

Alice comes bursting through the door like a baby tornado without even bothering to knock. She has an armload of clothes for some reason. "Leah," she squeals as she drops the clothes in Bella's lap before throwing her arms around me without waiting for Seth to let me go. "I was so worried!" Unlike Seth she releases me rather quickly. "Now," she says as she puts her hands on her hips. "You're going to take a shower and put on what I've brought you to wear. _Then_ you're going downstairs and not only apologize to Jude but thank him for saving your life." Leave it to Alice to get straight to business. "Not now Alice," I grumble in reply. I still feel like shit and I hope she'll just drop it.

Needless to say, Alice has no intentions of dropping it. "Now you listen to me Leah Clearwater," she hisses as she grabs me by the front of the gown I was wearing and pulls me out of Seth's arms so that we're face-to-face. "You are going to be spending a _lot_ of time making up for this to a _lot_ of people…Seth especially. I'll probably be the easiest. You have to take a shower, put on this dress, and wear it for an hour while you go talk to Jude. That's it. Do this and I forgive you. Don't and I'll tell your mom."

Am I afraid of Alice Cullen? Hell yes! Alice is scary when she wants something badly enough…and for some reason she wants me to do this badly enough. There's also the issue with Mom I'm going to have to figure out. "No makeover," she promises, "just clean and wearing this. I promise." I look over at Bella who only shrugs in response. Jake isn't even paying attention. Carlisle looks confused but recovers quickly. "I don't suppose it would hurt," he comments, "if you're feeling up to it of course."

I look up at Seth. "Alice is right," Seth says softly, "he did save your life. Get presentable and thank him. It's the right thing to do." I huff and nod. Carlisle begins taking the IV out of my arm. "Do you feel alright?" he asks. "Super," I say dryly. "No other symptoms?" he asks. "Chest still hurts," I admit. "Sharp pain when you breathe is normal Leah," Carlisle assures me. "It's not sharp," I correct, "it's more like pressure. Like…my heart is trying to push itself out." Alice grins widely but she's the only one. Carlisle, Bella, and Seth look confused. Jake is in his own little world. "Your EKG was normal," Carlisle says thoughtfully, "so was your blood gasses. I don't think it's anything serious, but let me know if it worsens." I nod. "Shower…now," Alice orders, "everyone else…out!"

Once I'm in the shower Alice is talking again. "Leah," she says from her perch on the counter, "I wish you had come to me instead of doing this." I huff. Seriously, can't I get some peace in the shower? Or are they afraid I'll be shaving my legs and get the notion to slit my wrist too? "Alice," I reply, "it's not like this is something you know anything about." She's silent for a minute. "I just want to help," she says softly. "I appreciate it Alice," I tell her from under the spray, "but this wasn't a rash decision. I didn't wake up this morning and say 'hey…I'm going to kill myself'. This was a long time coming. I planned this and nearly flawlessly executed it. Do you know how close I came?"

"Very," she admits, "so close Embry and Seth wouldn't have been in time. Julian really did save you life." I bite my bottom lip at those words. So he didn't just help me…he actually is responsible for me being alive right now. Unlike when Jake saved me from the newborn…I don't feel like a weak link. I ponder this while I wash out the shampoo and apply the conditioner. Honestly…it makes me feel warm. It makes me feel like I have a protector. Shit…I'm turning into a _girl_.

I wash the conditioner out of my hair. "Shave your legs," Alice calls, "you're wearing a dress." "No I'm not," I call back. I thought she was kidding. "Yes you are," she orders, "the least you can do is make an effort here Clearwater." I huff and pick up the razor. I can't win this argument…why even try? "Nothing fancy," I say sternly, "I'm not wearing a ball gown or any shit like that." "No problem," Alice says gleefully, "I have you the perfect casual dress for the occasion." I can't help but roll my eyes. What's the perfect dress to tell someone, "thanks for keeping me from killing myself"?

I shut the water off and Alice hands me a towel. "Wear your hair down," she suggests…well orders. I shrug in reply. I was going to do that anyway. "Is this some kind of vampire thing?" I ask. "What?" Alice asks back as I towel off behind the curtain. "Dressing up to thank someone for saving their life," I clarify. "Not really," Alice replies, "I just thought you'd feel better clean and in some nicer clothes. You know…like a confidence boost." I wrap the towel around me and step out. I guess I'm going to need all the confidence I can get.

Alice has a modest summer dress in emerald green waiting on me. She also has matching underwear. You'd just have to know Alice…she's like that. I start putting it on while Alice begins running a comb through my hair. I can't even get _dressed_ in private? "I'm just going to work out the tangles and blow dry it straight," she explains. I nod as I fix the clasp on my bra. "Why am I wearing a thong Alice?" I ask as I pick up the skimpy underwear Alice has picked out for me. "No panty line," she explains with a 'duh' look. I roll my eyes and slide the dress over my head. Of course it fits. "What should I say?" I ask as she continues to work on my hair. "Thank you is enough," she replies, "maybe a hug."

Hug? I hug Mom, Seth, and Charlie…that's it. She wants me hugging on some strange guy? The weird thing is…I kind of want to. That is weird as hell! Well, he did carry me here…it's not like we haven't been that close before. That and he smelled _really_ good. I guess I can show just a little gratitude. I mean, it's not like it will cost me anything except a little dignity. Not that I have a whole lot of that left.

Alice finishes quickly. "Is he still here?" I ask. "Yep," she replies cheerfully, "I told him before I came up you wanted to thank him." She smiles. "He seemed a little nervous," she continues, "like he's modest and doesn't want a big deal made out of it." "I can relate," I grumble. Alice smiles and hands me some lip gloss. I shrug and put on a quick coat. "Ready?" Alice asks. I take a deep, cleansing breath to steady my nerves. "Ready," I relent. Why the hell is she so cheerful about this? Is getting me to dress up really worth all this drama?

I follow a bouncing Alice down the stairs in my bare feet. Either she forgot the shoes or guessed I didn't want any. At least she did _something _right. I see Renesmee and Edward talking to a stranger who's sitting in a kitchen chair with his back is to me. "Here we are," Alice calls out cheerfully which ends conversation. I see the back of the stranger's hair. He has dark red hair…'dirty red' I think its called…cut military "high and tight". I wonder what it would feel like to rub my fingernails against the bare skin on the back of his head. Would he like that? Would I? Edward throws me a look and I shake off that thought. The lack of oxygen must be messing with my brain. The stranger stands up as I slowly make my way down the stairs with Alice by my side. That pull in my chest has kicked into overdrive. I wonder if Alice knows. I guess maybe she does and she's afraid I'll trip.

I see the same black boots that were standing over me as I was dying. He's wearing Levi's…which he fills out_ very_ nicely…and a pristine white t-shirt tucked in. He has a pair of black leather gloves tucked into his left hip pocket. The view from the back…with his filled out jeans and the muscles showing through his thin t-shirt…is an easy '10'. He turns around and I take him in from the front.

He has a broad chest and shoulders with a flat, solid stomach. His arms are as well built as anything I've seen either here or among the pack. I see a gold watch with a leather band on his left wrist. Holy shit…Patek Philipee! Those things make a Rolex look cheap! I also see something silver around his neck. Dogtags? Yep, they look just like the ones Dad had hanging from his bedroom mirror complete with the rubber silencers. That's a weird accessory for a half-breed.

I keep my head down and look up at him from under my lashes. Good chin I notice. Lips are beautifully sculpted…but that's got to be a vampire trait…all of the Cullen's have those. His ears are the perfect size. His face is just slightly oval. He pulls off the hair cut well…which not just anyone can do. I notice everyone in the room as gone quiet. I guess they'll waiting on me to say something.

I lift up my head to say hello and our eyes meet. His eyes…sparkling deep blue…are the most beautiful I've ever seen. My mouth is open but no words are forming. They're blue like the Pacific Ocean during a storm. I've never seen eyes so blue. Framed by light colored lashes they look positively breathtaking. It should be a crime for him to wear sunglasses. I've never seen eyes on anyone…man, woman, or child…this interesting or this beautiful. "Leah," Alice's voice chirps in my ear, "this is Julian."

She says something else but I don't hear her. I don't hear anything. I'm lost in those eyes. Time is literally standing still as I gawk at these eyes. Every worry…every care…I've ever had is gone in an instant. Everything I've ever cared about…my parents, my brother, Sam, my pack…literally flies out of my head. I could be drooling…but I don't care. It's like…the earth has shifted. It's like…the best orgasm of my life. It's like…_gravity_ _moved_. Everything keeping me grounded has left the building. Mom, Dad, Seth, Jacob, Sam…everything is gone. All of this is replaced by one thing. One thing is holding me to this planet in a grip so tight I couldn't escape if I wanted to. This man standing right before me. Julian.

My imprint.


	3. Chapter 3

**Nope, still don't own Twilight. I only own Julian. Team Hybrid!!**

CHAPTER 3-LEAH'S P.O.V.

_Hey, lady, you got the love I need,  
Maybe more than enough.  
Oh, Darlin', Darlin', Darlin', walk a while with me,  
Oh, you got so much, so much, so much._

"Over The Hills And Far Away"

Led Zeppelin

"Alice…you little schemer."

Edward's voice breaks me out of my daze. I turn and look to see the pixie smiling like she just got laid. "It's about time," Bella huffs. Jacob's face shows confusion. Seth looks like he wants to start doing cartwheels. Embry is just lost. Rosaline and Emmett are looking at each other puzzled. Esme is beaming at me. Jasper looks happy simply because Alice does. Edward has a smirk that looks…mildly surprised. And Julian…Julian looks as confused as both Jake and Embry.

I then remember that I'm standing here holding his hand and my mouth is hanging open. Did we shake hands? Damn…I just acted like everyone else that's ever imprinted. I've given them so much shit for that stupid look and now I've gone and done it. I slowly release his hand. That hand was both warm and strong. Not _hard_ like vampire skin…_strong_ like you expect a man's hands to be. His scent is both invigorating and calming. I could drown myself in that scent. Leah likes…a _whole_ lot.

Dear God I haven't tried to act like a girl in years. I don't know if I even can anymore. I've just shocked myself…along with everyone in the room that knows. The rest will be shocked when they figure it out. I…Leah Clearwater…biggest bitch in the Pacific Northwest…just imprinted. Imprinted on a half-breed and couldn't be happier. I'm at a loss for words. Can I let him in? Should I? I don't have a choice…he's my imprint. Hell, I don't _want_ a choice.

I shake it off quickly and decide to just go for it. Maybe he feels the same pull I do. I take a slow step forward so that I'm in his personal bubble. I almost want to start cheering when he doesn't back away. Very slowly…like he might bolt and run…I reach up and put my arms around his neck. I'm relieved he puts his around my waist in return. "Thank you, Julian," I whisper into his chest. Damn he smells good. And these arms… "Glad I got there in time," he whispers into the top of my head, "and please…call me Jude."

I nod against his chest. I don't want to move. Now I understand why the guys could go on and on about just holding their imprints. I like Julian better. If everyone calls him 'Jude' I'm going to call him 'Julian'. I don't want to be like everyone else. He's warm…strong…and smells good. Mother Nature outdid herself when she made _my_ imprint. I can't help but sigh against his chest. I can hear his heart…which is _very_ cool. I knew Nessie and Nahuel had a heartbeat…but I didn't know if that was just them or all half-breeds. Hearing his heartbeat just makes him all that much more real to me. I belong here. Surrounded by my pack in a house full of vampires…I know I belong here.

Someone clears their throat and I realize I'm still in Julian's embrace. I step back and blush. Holy shit…I'm _blushing_? I never do that. Bella is biting her lip to keep from laughing. I still haven't let him go. "Now that everyone is here," Carlisle says, "we were hoping you would tell us about yourself, Jude." Julian nods. "I guess we should all grab a chair," he says in that voice that makes my shiver. I've never had a thing for southern accents…but this is dead sexy.

Esme takes his hand and leads him over to the couch. I have to release him and it hurts. Everyone else takes seats on the floor or on various pieces of furniture in the room. I notice no one sits next to Julian. _Real subtle guys_, I think. I see Edward crack a smile out of the corner of my eye. I'm the last to get a seat. I notice Bella motioning with her head for me to sit beside him. Well, here goes nothing. I sit down beside him…making sure not to crowd him even though I'd much rather crawl into his lap and snuggle up against his chest. He gives me a soft smile before turning back around to the group. "Where do y'all want me to start?" he asks. Oh my God…he said "y'all". I'm addicted to men with southern drawls now.

"We're interested in your entire story," Carlisle suggests. "So just start at the beginning. I'm sure we'll have some questions…especially about being a hybrid like Renesmee." Julian nods slowly. "Alright," he agrees, "but I warn y'all…some parts of my life aren't for the faint of heart." Emmett laughs from the opposite side of the room. "None of ours are," Edward assures him, "I promise…no one here will judge you too harshly."

Julian nods again before beginning. "I was born in 1950," he says. "I was telling Nessie earlier it was in the Okefenokee Swamp near Callahan, Florida…almost on the Florida/Georgia border. That's also where I grew up. My mom's name was Delilah and my father's name was Solomon."

That gets him his first interruption. "Solomon?" Esme asks softly. I tear my eyes away from Julian to look around the room. Every Cullen…except Bella and Renesmee…has a look of surprise. "He said you knew him," Julian comments. "He lived with us for a while," Carlisle explains, "over a decade actually. He came right after Alice and Jasper. We were the ones that taught him how to live without hunting humans." Julian nods. "He told me," he replies. "Solomon was a good soul," Edward comments. Julian nods, though his face is sad.

"Dad met Delilah when she was fifteen," Julian continues, "and left because he didn't want to harm her. She was the daughter of a foreman that ran a logging camp in the swamp. He was able to be around her even though he was a human feeder. He came back when she was in her twenties and they fell in love. He got her pregnant…he didn't think he could…but he did. She died giving birth to me."

I can see the sadness in those eyes almost immediately. It's not hard to miss. I remember how close Bella came to death…and the Cullens were ready with a plan. This was over sixty years ago. I'll bet that shit eats at him. Not think…know. I know this. I can literally smell his sadness.

Julian's mouth sets in a tight line. "No one knew a male vampire could reproduce," he goes on, "though from what I hear y'all had that same problem with Renesmee." Everyone nods in agreement. "Mom's dying wish to him was that he would raise me. He agreed…obviously. That's how I'm here."

I see Edward's jaw clench out of the corner of my eye. I'm guessing there's more to that story. There has to be…the sad look Julian has on his face says so. I'm surprised how easily I can read my imprint. I then remember when the Cullens were researching before Renesmee was born. Vampire hybrids end up killing their mothers at birth…it's the only way they can escape the womb. I don't have to be a mind reader to guess how Julian feels about being the one that killed his mom.

That means he's nothing like Nahuel's sisters. Knowing he killed his mom _still_ haunts him. I want to pull him to me and soothe him. I want those lips on mine. I would do anything to soothe him…_anything_. We could soothe each other's souls. I would love that.

"Dad and I stayed in the swamp while I was growing up," Julian says…getting back on track. "He gave me an education and I learned to hunt. Hunting is good there…alligator is especially tasty." This gets a grin from several faces. "I fully matured around 1957 or '58 and Dad and I began having a…falling out of sorts." His head drops slightly. "Dad thought I should be acclimating myself to human life and I wanted to hang more with the vampires. I knew more about how to be a vampire than how to be a human. I was a good hunter…excellent fighter…and Dad made sure I knew how to take care of myself. I hated him actually…because he hunted humans. I hated him because Mom was a human."

Troubled childhood, huh? I didn't expect my imprint to be perfect. It doesn't matter. I've got demons too. He's still perfect…at least for me. Maybe he needs me as much as I need him. Maybe we need each other. Maybe I need to get a grip and let the man talk.

"Anyway," he continues, "Dad and I got into a nasty argument in 1959. I hated him because he was too weak to live without feeding on humans and he was angry that I refused to join the human world. So I did something to spite him." Julian grins wiry. "Y'all know what a lot of teenagers and young adult humans do when they don't have any direction?" Several of our group shake their heads. "I bet Jasper knows," he comments. All heads turn to Jasper. "You joined the military?" Edward answers instead. He must have seen it in Julian's mind. "Yep," Julian says proudly, "went to boot camp in 1960."

There's an audible gasp throughout the room. "It was easy," Julian goes on, "I didn't want to kill humans…I wanted to save them. So I joined the Navy. After boot camp, I went to Naval Hospital Corps School. This was early 1961. Any history scholars know what was going on in America around that time?" "Vietnam was on the horizon," Jasper chimes in. "Exactly," Julian replies. "So I went through Field Medic Battalion training and went straight through till I got my title of "Enlisted Fleet Marine Force Warfare Specialist". After dazzling the right people and getting my papers, I was with one of the first Marine Corps units on the ground in 1963."

"I thought you were in the Navy…not the Marines," Jacob questions, disbelief obvious in his voice. Julian only rolls his eyes. "The Marine Corps is part of the Navy," he explains, "The Marines don't have a lot of support personnel…including medics…so they get them _from_ the Navy." Everyone's head nods, following along. "I was in Vietnam from 1963 until 1975," Julian goes on, "I was 'Doc' to those guys. I _loved_ it. Yeah, I got into firefights…and had to kill some humans because they were after my platoon…but mostly I did the patching up. It was tough…but a good experience."

There's another story beside what he's telling me. Julian sounds like he's giving the gung-ho speech…editing for the children in the room. I can't imagine being in the middle of a war…even a human one…to be a good experience. Edward is nodding along at my thoughts. He's picked up on it too. If I get to know Julian, maybe I'll hear the whole story.

Julian grins. "Anyone here a computer hacker?" he asks. All of the Cullens look over at Jasper again. Julian takes off his dogtags and tosses them to Jasper. "Hack into their records," he says proudly, "you probably can get into their old service records without much trouble. Look up my name with that ID number on those tags." Jasper begins typing on Alice's pink laptop. "You said you were there until '75," Renesmee comments. Julian nods. "The U.S. military pulled out in 1973," she says flatly. I don't think she believes him either and…like Jake…is trying to punch holes in his story. "Yeah…" Julian replies, "but the Marines are responsible for security at every U.S. embassy in the world…including Saigon. The Vietcong didn't take over the entire country until 1975."

"Here we go," Jasper interrupts, "Julian Sanders…born October 9th, 1942…ID number 03330033…" Jasper pauses. "Four bronze stars…two silver stars…one Purple Heart…posthumously awarded Navy Cross…killed during fall of Saigon on April 30th, 1975." Everyone gets quiet. "I put an old set of dogtags on a burned corpse," Julian explains, "since the war was over, I figured it was a good time for me to get out and go home. Everything you read there is correct…except the year I was born. I had to lie about that."

Wow. My imprint is a war hero. I wonder if Billy Black knows him? Billy's dad did two tours in Vietnam…so did Old Quil. That would be wild. And he was born in 1950? Well, in my fantasy yesterday I said I wanted a man and not a child. It looks like I got my wish. I got a male…good looking…strong…a warrior… I say again… Mother Nature was working overtime when she made this one.

"Dad knew I would be faking my death soon," Julian goes on. "I had planned to just disappear and go AWOL but the Communists gave me the perfect opportunity to disappear." Julian leans back and puts his arm on the back of the couch behind me. I have to fight to not curl up beside him. "Anyway, I basically walked from Saigon to Europe…bought the necessary fake documents…flew from Paris to New York and walked/hitchhiked home. Dad was waiting of course. Imagine my surprise when I showed up and he had golden eyes."

All of the Cullens smile at that. "We then did what y'all do," he explains, "Dad…since he looked too old to be a student…would get a job somewhere he could works nights. He liked to tend bar. He could dazzle the women so he made good tips and if someone was causing trouble he could throw them out without any problem. I went to high school, then college, and then medical school…the first time. Then we moved and I did it again. The third time I was bored so I tried being a paramedic." He shakes his head. "It sucked," he confesses, "it's nothing like being a corpsman. Anyway, we did that and started the high school thing again. We were in Washington D.C. when Maria found us."

All of the Cullens let out an audible gasp. So does Renesmee. Everyone in my pack just looks confused. "Maria is the one that killed Dad," Julian says sadly, "She wanted me. She thinks creating an army with hybrids as well as vampires would give her enough edge to control the territories she wants." "Why?" Rosaline asks. "Because with the right training," Julian explains, "you can make a hybrid good enough to kill a full vampire." "Impossible," Emmett scoffs. "I've done it," Julian says evenly.

What? Everyone is looking at Julian like he just said Santa Claus is real. "_You've_ destroyed a full vampire?" Rosaline scoffs. "Twelve," Julian corrects, "I've eliminated twelve vampires." Everyone…including me…is sitting there with their mouths hanging open. "How?" Jacob asks. Julian shrugs. "Good technique," Julian replies, "the right mindset. Overconfidence on the part of the vampire." He shrugs again. "How can a human that's smaller, slower, and weaker beat a human that better than them? Easy. The smaller human wants to win more." He takes a deep breath. "It's like that old saying about lions and antelopes. The lion is only running for its supper. The antelope is running for its _life_."

I'm still gawking. Julian has killed _vampires_. No one in this pack has killed a vampire on their own before. Sam and Jacob…the alphas…are the best equipped to do that. However not even they have taken on a vampire solo. It's a shock to hear a half-breed did it. Of course I believe him. I'm so in tune him right now I would know if he were lying. Seriously…my ability to read him is like nothing I've experienced. If Julian lies, I'll bet my tail I'd know.

"It makes sense," Alice chimes in. Everyone looks at her now likes she's as crazy as Julian. "Think about it," Alice explains, "we all know Jasper is the best fighter in this family. Who's second?" "Edward," Seth chimes in. Alice shakes her head. "Forget gifts," she goes on, "Even without Jasper manipulating his opponent's emotions, he's the best. If you take out gifts…who's second?"

Carlisle answers for her. "Rosaline," he says softly. Everyone turns to look at him. "As far as technique and tenacity go, Rosaline is second only to Jasper." Now that I think about it…he's right. True even if you eliminate gifts Jasper would still be the toughest fight. Hell, he's killed more vampires than most of the members of the Volturi. However…gifts aside…Rosaline would be the one that would scare me. Rosaline is as tough as nails. She has that mixture of ability and viciousness that would scare anyone.

"And just like me," Julian chimes in, "a vampire would take one look at her pretty face and that killer body and just assume she was a pushover." Several heads nod in agreement. "Dad also wanted me to warn you to watch Renesmee," Julian continues, "because even if a half human/half vampire isn't strong enough…what about if a vampire mated with a hybrid?" Jacob growls at that. "Two-thirds vampire and one-third human," Carlisle speculates, "that could possibly eliminate several handicaps vampires have…especially giving ourselves away in the sunlight."

"Are you venomous?" Edward asks. Julian…to my surprise…laughs. "Yeah," he admits, "I _can_ be." Now I'm the one turning to stare at him. If he's venomous…he's dangerous to me. Vampire venom will change a human but kill a shifter. "We're like snakes," he explains, "we can deliver our venom on command. It takes some practice…but I've been doing it a long time. I could bite anyone here and not harm them." Once again everyone is surprised. "Isn't Renesmee?" Julian asks.

"No," Nessie replies. Julian gives her a strange look. "Have you ever _tried_?" he asks. Nessie shakes her head. "I'll bet you are," he comments, "Dad visited Joham while I was overseas to see what he could learn about hybrids. The theory is the reason males are born with the ability is because we're born with more hormones that can trigger aggression. I'll bet if you worked on it, you could get it to work…several of Joham's daughters have figured it out." "I don't want to," Renesmee says softly. Julian shrugs. "I want every advantage in protecting myself," he comments, "but that's up to you."

Renesmee and Jacob are obviously uncomfortable with this knowledge. It doesn't exactly sit well with me either to know Julian is venomous. It's not a deal breaker…he's still my imprint and I want to be close to him…but it makes me wary. "When's the last time you saw Maria?" Jasper asks. "Five years ago," Julian replies, "I've tried to stay out of the South so she can't find me. Dad and I were looking around West Virginia when she caught up with us. We were checking out one of y'alls own homesteads." "Does she _know_ about Nessie?" Jacob asks. "Not from me or Dad," Julian replies, "but the way word travels among vampires…it wouldn't surprise me."

Renesmee gets Julian's attention and they begin discussing food. I half listen while I think about my situation. I get the impression he came here for Renesmee. I watch out of the corner of my eye as she tucks her hair behind her ear, bites her bottom lip, and looks at him through her lashes. Is she flirting with him? I bite back a growl before I embarrass myself and listen to them talk. Of course Julian prefers blood…that doesn't surprise me. I am surprised to find out he eats more human food than she does.

Anyway, back to my situation. Well…I've got an imprint. He's a half-breed and here because there's a female of his kind here…but it's an imprint. He also just saved me from trying to kill myself. That means he thinks I'm emotionally disturbed. Shit, this isn't good. Now I've got to figure out what to do. Should I just tell him? Should I see how he feels about me first? Should I pull him into the bathroom and we fuck right on the counter? I shake off that thought _quickly_. Not that I don't want to…it _has_ been a long time…but because I know that wouldn't work. I mean, I might succeed…but I want my imprint to stay with me and not think of me as a one-night stand. I'm _so_ screwed!

I look around the room to see whom I can ask for help. Yeah…Leah Clearwater is so desperate she's willing to ask for help…even willing to ask a vampire. Seth would help me…but he doesn't know anything about imprints. Neither does Embry. Jacob does…but he hates Julian. I can tell. I'm not going to ask anyone from Sam's pack. Looks like I've narrowed my choice to vampires.

Ok…Rosaline and Emmett I can eliminate right off the bat. Emmett would rag my ass till I curled up in a corner and died of shame and Blondie is just too much of a bitch. Jasper is a no because…well, he's a guy. Carlisle…no. I don't need any medical advice. Esme? Esme has that mom vibe going on…but I don't know if she could help me. Bella? Maybe. Bella knows more about imprinting than the rest of the vampires except Edward. Huh…Edward. He could tell me what Julian is thinking. Seeing how Renesmee is looking at Julian, I can eliminate her help. I need help…not competition.

That leaves one other "person"…Alice. Normally I avoid Alice like the plague. It's a defense mechanism…Alice always wants to give me a makeover or go shopping. However I do need some help attracting a guy. Wouldn't someone who's an expert in the feminine arts be the one you go to? Ok…Alice will be the first one I talk to. Edward will be number two…if I need him. I think between these two I can figure out how to get his attention.

Esme prepares dinner for anyone that eats and we all gather around the dining room table. I pay strict attention to what Julian eats. He likes his meat rare and seems to prefer vegetables by themselves and not in a casserole or anything. Could he be any easier to please? Could he be any more perfect? Can I cook for him? That would be so cool! He also eats bread…something Renesmee doesn't. Huh. I listen as Seth engages him in conversation. Yeah, that little shit _knows_ I'm listening. He's guessed I imprinted on Julian. I should've known he would.

I take notes in my head as they talk. Beer…yes. Wine…a little. Hard liquor…definitely. Wow, he sure isn't Renesmee. I think blood is the strongest thing she's ever had. Baseball…yes. Football…yes. Basketball…not so much. Hockey…no. Music…rock…especially classic rock. He likes the stuff from his "young adult" years…AKA the time he was in Vietnam. Ok, I like that too. It's what Dad used to listen to. I was afraid it was going to be opera or classical like the rest of the bloodsuckers here. Motorcycles…big thing. There's one under the tarp on the back of his truck. Huh…he drives a truck and not a sports car like I've expected. I approve! Dancing…he _can_ but not really his thing. I'll bet that boy can move!

I also listen as Jasper explains his past and Maria. What is it with the Cullens making enemies that are either powerful, crazy, or both? This bitch sounds certifiable. If she's after Julian and Renesmee, the Cullens are going to have their hands full. This is one fight I would love to get in. Yeah, I'm protective of my imprint. All wolves are.

I watch Julian out of the corner of my eye the entire dinner. I don't think I said two words the rest of the night. I'd love to speak up to but I'm just too shy right about now. Everyone else is monopolizing his time right now anyway so I'll get him when it's quiet. Julian went to his trailer for the night right after dinner. I guess he's had a long day. Tearing off a car door and carrying someone my size through the woods will do that do you. I shifted into my wolf form and bedded down in the woods near him. I thought over what had happened today. I'll need a plan. Tomorrow I start operation "Get My Imprint." It sounds fitting.

My sleep is easy for the first time in a long time. I could say it's because I'm in wolf form but that's bullshit. The truth is I feel good being close to Julian. Now I'm wondering what it would feel like to be lying right next to him. I'd be in human form obviously…preferably with us both naked. I'll bet the rest of his body feels as good as his hands did. That thought sends a shiver down my spine even in wolf form. If wolves can smile, that's what I'm doing as I drift off into a deep, peaceful sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

(A/N Ok, review fell last chapter. I do something wrong? Something missing? Review!! Also, lots of you aren't going to like how this chapter ends, but I had to stop it somewhere. I promise Jude and Leah are just fine. Again, review...they make me update faster. One more question for you guys. A Leah/Jacob fic is a "Blackwater" fic. A Leah/Embry fic is a "Callwater" fic. Does this mean technically I'm writing a "Sandwater" fic?)

**Still don't own Twilight...but I'll keep trying!!**

CHAPTER 4-LEAH'S P.O.V.

_We'd like to know a little bit about you for our files  
We'd like to help you learn to help yourself  
Look around you, all you see are sympathetic eyes  
Stroll around the grounds until you feel at home_

"Mrs. Robinson"

Simon and Garfunkel

_It's night…the full moon is shining over the yard. It's the Cullen's backyard…I recognize it immediately. There are lit candles and white flowers decorating the scene…lilies I think. No one is on the dance floor except Julian and I. _Love Will Keep Us Alive_ is playing softly as we sway under the stars. Holy shit…I'm wearing a wedding dress. Julian is wearing a classic black tux complete with vest and a frock style coat. He looks beautiful. Those eyes are locked on mine as we dance. "I love you Mrs. Sanders," he whispers. I smile at that. "I love you Mr. Sanders," I whisper back. He leans in and kisses me passionately before my dream fades out._

I wake up once again to the smell of vampire. "Do you snore like that in human form?" comes a way too chipper voice for this early in the morning. I roll over and see Alice sitting cross-legged on the ground beside me. I get on my feet and arch my back like the dog I am. "I brought you some clothes," Alice says as she points to the pile in front of her. It looks like jeans and a red halter-top. I give her a slow, thankful nod, pick up the clothes with my mouth, and trot into the woods to phase back human.

Alice is still sitting in the same spot when I walk out fully dressed. "Where is everyone?" I ask. "The house," Alice replies. I shift my weight. "Julian is there," Alice comments. Sometimes I think Alice wasn't even born...much less created…with a subtle bone in her body. I want to say _no shit Alice _but instead I cross my arms across my chest and sigh dramatically.

If Alice is put off by this she doesn't show it. "So you imprinted," she comments. "Yeah," I reply evenly. Alice nods thoughtfully. "I thought you would," she continues, "he's a catch, isn't he?" I nod eagerly at that. "How'd you know?" I ask. "The pack underestimates my abilities," she scoffs, "I saw a future vision of myself picking up tuxes and the tag said 'Sanders'. When Carlisle was introducing Julian to the family I saw on his dogtags that was his last name." "It could've been for Nessie," I point out. Alice shakes her head. "Bridesmaids dresses came next," she says as she taps her head, "and one of them was Nessie's. By the way, nice choice Clearwater…the color I mean."

I snort at that. "It still could be someone else," I reply, "someone we don't know." "I took a shot," Alice explains, "he knows two single women here…you and Nessie. I was right." She shrugs her tiny shoulders. "I couldn't say for sure you'd imprint…you being unable seems to be a popular theory…but I thought maybe I could at least help you just in case." "Thanks," I tell her. Alice's smile returns. "Glad I could help," she replies.

I guess it's time to see if Alice wants to be part of my little operation. "So you feel like helping me anymore?" I ask. Alice squeals in delight. "What are we doing?" she asks. "Julian probably thinks I'm a basket case," I say softly, "and I'm not exactly up on what to do to attract a man. I need help Alice…help finding my inner girl again." Alice squeals again. "I can handle that," she promises, "we'll find you some clothes that are your style…maybe a salon visit…" She taps her chin with her index finger. "I think some lingerie shopping would be in order too." I let my head drop. "I've got more problems than my clothes," I whisper.

Alice doesn't speak so I press forward. "He probably thinks I'm a freak," I explain. "Normal people don't try to kill themselves." "Are you still thinking about doing it?" Alice asks. I shake my head. "I can't explain imprinting," I reply, "but it literally fixes _everything_. Alice, last night I actually dreamed about marrying him. Our bond with our imprints is stronger than anything you could imagine. I'm more sorry that I would've hurt him by dying than I am about actually dying." Alice nods thoughtfully. "I can't just say 'I'm ok now…I have you' though," I tell her. "That just sounds like a different kind of crazy."

That pretty well sums it up on both counts. I have an imprint now and I have literally so much I need to figure out it's making my head spin. I want him to like me…plain and simple. To do that I need to get his attention. That means doing what normal girls do and showing off my assets…physical as well as my intellect, charm, and compassion. I don't want the same shit the guys have gone through with their imprints. None of this "I'm a wolf and you're my soul mate" shit right off the bat…it's too complicated. I'd rather he fall for Leah Clearwater…not Leah the shape shifter…and let's go from there.

Besides the fact I'm out of practice feeling and acting like a woman my soul mate thinks I'm ready for a straight jacket. Julian…just by deciding to check out Forks…has healed every injury to my heart. I love him and I don't even know him. That's both wonderful and sad at the same time. I wish I could just blurt that out to him but it wouldn't help my cause either. Maybe I can just show him I'm ok and we go from there. It's not the best plan…but at least it's a plan.

"Well," Alice says absently, "you didn't think it would be easy did you?" I shrug and sit down. "Isn't it about time it was?" I ask. "Love isn't suppose to be easy," Alice replies, "imprinting or not. Look at all the imprinted couples you know. Did any of them have it easy?"

I think it over. Sam…the first…had to deal with a brokenhearted fiancée (me) along with the imprintee being my cousin. He also injured Emily by phasing too close to her. Jared imprinted on someone he didn't even know had existed until he imprinted. Explaining why he was suddenly interested wasn't easy. Paul imprinted on Rachel…Jake's sister. _That_ was a shit load of drama. Quil of course got a two-year old imprint, which was even more drama than Paul's situation. Lastly, there's Jake…who not only imprinted on half our mortal enemy but on a baby just like Quil.

"No they didn't," I admit, "but this is insane." "Not really," Alice replies, "I saw the way he looked at you when you hugged him…which by the way was a _really_ good move. He looked just as happy to be there as you did." I feel my cheeks heating up. "So what do I do?" I ask.

Alice takes a deep breath. "Why don't you just make friends with him?" Alice asks. "I mean…the imprint connection is there and he knows what you are. There's no need for some advanced plan. It's just like any other woman that sees a man she wants. You just have to go get him. If he asks if you're ok…tell him you are. The right time to tell him about the imprint will present itself and you'll do it. It's not _that_ difficult for you Clearwater. Just woman up and do it."

I nod and stand up. Alice is right with me. "Your shoes are by the door," she comments as we walk to the house. "Thanks," I reply softly though I don't really care. It's not like I ever wear them. Alice smiles again. "Things are going to be ok," she promises. "Worrying about it is only going to make you feel worse. Just make it a point to be near him and let nature take its course. I have a good feeling about you two." I take a deep, cleansing breath and nod.

There's a motorcycle parked in the front yard. Julian is out there along with Jacob, Renesmee, Seth, Embry, and Jasper. "Nice bike," Alice comments. I don't know much about motorcycles but it says "Harley Davidson" on the gas tank and it looks like something a Hell's Angel would be riding. "2005 Harley Dyna Glide," Jasper comments. "Dyna _Super_ Glide," Julian corrects. All I know is it's black and has a lot of chrome. It does have sort of a bad ass aura to it. "I'm going into town to get coffee," Julian says, "anyone want any?"

"I do," Seth says quickly. Julian smirks at him. "Unless you spontaneously grow tits," Julian replies, "you can forget riding with me." Everyone laughs at Seth who blushes. Alice bumps me with her elbow hard enough to make me wince. My pack mates notice but not Julian…who is facing away from me. "Um," I say softly, "can I?" Julian turns and looks me over. I bite my bottom lip and fight to control my blush. "Sure," he agrees, "get your shoes on and I'll get you a helmet." "Ok," I agree.

Renesmee and Jacob are glaring at me as I walk up onto the porch and get my shoes from just inside the door. I'm guessing it's for different reasons. Jake obviously hasn't warmed up to Julian and Renesmee might have a crush on him. Seth…having shaken off the rebuke from Julian…is grinning widely at me. I can't help but smile back. "I'm glad you're going," he whispers. "I'm nervous," I admit. Seth gives my shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Go get your imprint," he whispers. I give him a quick hug and sit down on the steps.

Julian is sitting on his bike with a helmet hanging from each side of the handlebars. "You ever ridden one of these?" he asks. I shake my head. "Here," he says handing me a full-face helmet. It looks like something a fighter pilot would wear. "What is this?" I ask. I've never seen a motorcycle helmet that looked like this. "Roof motorcycle helmet," he explains, "pretty popular in Europe. Trust me…you'll like it." I shrug and put it over my head. Julian grabs each side of my head and lifts so the front of my helmet flips up. He then begins buckling the helmet to my head.

"You're not going to freak out are you?" he asks. I roll my eyes and he smirks. "Hold on," he explains, "lean with me into the curves…and you'll be fine…ok?" I nod. He smiles again and closes the front of my helmet again. I kind of feel like Darth Vadar.

I throw my leg over and slide back so that he can get on. Julian drops the foot pegs for me. He puts on his helmet and then his gloves. This done he presses the button and the motorcycle roars to life. "Can you hear me?" he asks. "Yeah," I yell back. He ducks his head. "There's an intercom system in here," he says, "so don't yell." "Sorry," I reply in a normal voice. "Either hang on to the sissy bar behind you, to my belt, or put your arms around my waist," he continues, "we'll be fine." "Ok," I reply. I then put my arms around his waist. Oh yeah…Leah likes this!

He does something with his left foot, gives it a little throttle, and we're easing down the driveway. Seth, Embry, Quil, Jasper, and Alice are all waving. "You don't have to go slow," I tell him. I hear him laugh over the speaker. "Wait till we get on pavement," he promises. We're quiet for a moment. "When we get closer to town," Julian asks, "can you point where we can get coffee?" "Sure," I agree. "Alright," he says as the road comes into view, "hang on."

He leans hard to the right and tires squeal as we take off towards Forks. I squeeze his waist tighter and he laughs. He works the shifter again and we are _flying_. I love it! I feel so free I can't help but laugh. This is nice. I love being next to Julian while we're blistering the asphalt. "Not use to this much power between your legs, are you?" Julian comments. I can't help but laugh again. He's right. Between the heat and the vibrations I have to fight the urge to moan. I'm glad Alice gave me jeans and not shorts today.

I move my left hand over his shoulder and point for him to turn left into town. He nods and I leave the hand on his shoulder. The muscle underneath his t-shirt surprises me. He's cut. Firm but not granite hard like the vampires. "You alright back there," he says. I nod…even though I know he can't see me…and reply, "Yeah." I feel the bike slowing down as the sign for the diner comes into view. "There," I point. He nods and turns into the parking lot.

He holds the bike so I can dismount before backing the bike into a parking space and setting the kickstand. "That was fun!" I gush as I pull the helmet off. Oh my God…I'm gushing. He grins as his own helmet comes off. "I can't believe you've never ridden a motorcycle?" he says. I shuffle my feet. "Too rainy here," I explain. He nods in agreement. "I've ridden cross country a couple of times," he says. I look up. "Really?" I ask. He grins again and nods. "Come on," he says, "I'm buying."

He then surprises me by offering me his arm. I shrug nonchalantly but my stomach is doing flips. Of course I take it. He's warm even though we just got off the bike where the wind was blowing at least eighty miles per hour. He escorts me to the door and opens it for me. I give him a quiet "thank you" and step inside. Very gentlemanly…must be the vampire in him. He comes in behind me. "Booth ok?" he asks. "Sure," I reply.

Julian takes my hand and leads me to the rear booth and parks me in the seat with my back to the door. "Sorry," he mumbles, "but I can't sit where I can't see the door." "Not a problem," I shrug. Dad was like that. Charlie Swan's like that too. I'm guessing it's a guy thing. The waitress comes over just as my stomach growls. "Miss breakfast?" he asks. I blush and nod. "Order then," he says, "I've got nothing but time." "You sure?" I ask. "I didn't bring my purse." "It's not a problem Leah," he says softly, "I ate at the Cullen's but you go ahead. My treat."

I scan the menu while Julian orders us both coffee. "So you're from La Push?" he asks. I nod and tuck my hair behind my right ear. "Seth's your brother?" he asks. Again I nod. "You can start talking at any time Leah," he comments. I can't help but blush again. "What do you want to know?" I ask shyly. Julian shrugs. "Whatever you want to tell me," he replies.

Oh, I _want_ to tell him plenty. I just can't…yet. It's been a long time since I've dated, but this suspiciously feels like we're feeling out each other. "I know a little about your pack," Julian continues, "and of course the Cullen's and the Battle for Renesmee. I'm more interested in Leah Clearwater the woman." "And why's that?" I ask. "I…don't know," he admits.

I do. He feels the same pull I do. It's the imprinting magic. Emily…trying to mend fences with me…told me once that imprinting works both ways. Not only does the wolf feel it but so does the imprintee. I thought she was just trying to relieve some of her guilt. I'm wishing now I had listened more to her. It would be helpful right now. I'm not going to push him to admit anything. "I don't know" is an acceptable answer for now. Hell, it's probably true. We'll get to it. I'll tell him about me and see if I can't learn a little about him in the process.

I blow out a breath as the waitress brings our coffee. I decide to get the family demographics out of the way. "My dad died about eight years ago," I reply, "and my mom got remarried about three years ago. Seth is my only sibling." Julian nods. "What's you mom do?" he asks. "She owns a store in La Push," I reply, "she's also on the tribal council." Julian nods and takes a sip of his coffee. "Any other family?" he asks. "Just Mom, Seth, and me" I reply, "grandparents died years ago. You?" He shakes his head. "It was me and Dad," he explains, "now it's just me."

The waitress comes and takes my order. She gives me a funny look when I order a stack of pancakes, scrambled eggs, hash browns, bacon, and toast. If it bothers Julian he doesn't show it. "Can I ask you something?" Julian asks. I take a bite and shrug. He looks around and leans in closer. I don't even realize I'm leaning in with him until I do it. "Seth and Embry," he whispers, "in wolf form they're almost the size of horses. Do _you_ get that big?" I want to sigh with relief. I was afraid he was going to ask about yesterday. "No," I whisper back, "I'm the smallest of both packs. I guess I'm probably the size of an adult Great Dane. The plus is I'm the fastest." He grins and I return it. I like that smile.

Julian then takes advantage of the distance to ask me another question. "What color is your coat?" he asks. "Light gray," I reply, giving him a shy smile. He smiles back. Ok, he's obviously not intimidated by me turning into a giant dog. Another plus for the half-breed. The waitress comes with my order and to give us a refill and we back up. "The coffee ok?" I ask. "I've had worse," he admits with a wink, "I _was_ in the Navy." I wink back and take a bite of bacon.

"Lived here all your life?" he asks. "Yep," I admit, "never been any further away than Vancouver." Julian's eyes open in surprise. "You should get away some," he comments. I raise my eyebrow in surprise. "Go to New York or L.A.," he says after taking another gulp, "do some modeling or something." I can't help but roll my eyes. "Seriously," he goes on as he leans his body to the side to exam me from head to toe, "you have good features…awesome body. Maybe if you got away you wouldn't be so sad."

I stop in mid chew…ignoring the fact he thinks I'm nice looking. "You think I'm sad?" I ask. He looks around again before answering. "That's usually how people who try to kill themselves feel," he says in a low even voice. I swallow hard. I guess he's not going to let that drop. "Some problems just follow you," I reply evenly. "True," he admits, "but some problems would look different in a different setting." "That why you went to 'Nam?" I ask. He gives me a hard look. "No," he says in a low voice, "I went there for penance." "Penance?" I ask. He nods. "For who I killed," he replies. "Your mom?" I ask. He nods.

You know why Jake and I got along so well when Bella was pregnant? We both understood pain. His healed…but mine is still there. Seeing the sadness in Julian's eyes when his mom is mentioned tells me he knows something about the subject himself. It's all I can do not to move over to sit beside him and take him in my arms. I make comments about sex…and Julian in my opinion is one _hell_ of a good looking man…but there's more to being imprinted. You are what your imprint needs. The funny thing is, maybe my imprintee is what I need as well.

We're silent for a moment and he leans back against the vinyl seat. "I'm sorry," I whisper. "For what?" he asks. I shrug. "Lots of things," I admit. "We all have ghost chasing us," he admits. "I have plenty," I agree. "Well finish your breakfast and we'll take a ride somewhere you can tell me about them," he offers. "You don't have _that_ long," I reply. He shrugs. "I'm a grown man Leah," he replies, "I think I can best decide how my time should be spent." "It's a lot," I explain quickly, "it's just _really_ a lot." "Then we'll take it in pieces," he replies.

"Do I get to hear about you?" I ask. "Sure," I he replies, "I guess I could wow you with my tales of adventure." I can't help but grin at that. He's charming too. "Finish up Leah," he says softly. "I'm tired of that cop staring at me from across the room."

Of course I turn around. It's Charlie Swan. I wave and smile. He relaxes and waves back. "Bella's dad," I explain. Julian nods. "He in on your secret?" he asks. "He's who my mom remarried," I explain, "so yeah he's on a need to know basis…so to speak." Julian gives a nod. "He's ok," I tell him, "he really helped my mom after Dad died. Charlie and Dad were best friends. You're with me. That means you're ok."

Julian nods. "I'm used to getting stared at by local law enforcement," he comments, "the bike tends to do that…especially on the West Coast." I raise an eyebrow. "Higher outlaw motorcycle clubs membership here than where I'm from," he explains, "usually when they see I'm not wearing any colors they leave me alone." "Ah," I reply, "well Charlie knows I'm not your 'old lady'." Julian laughs at that. "You _are_ riding in the bitch seat," he comments. I roll my eyes. "Don't remind me," I comment dryly which earns me another laugh.

I finish my breakfast and we linger over another cup of coffee. I decide to press for some more information. "How long are you going to hang around?" I ask. He shrugs. "It hasn't been decided," he replies, "I guess when the Cullen's and I come up with some kind of understanding." "Understanding?" I ask. He nods. "About Maria," he explains. Oh…right. The psycho that started the Southern Wars. I heard all about her last night too. "That's one bad ass Mexican bitch Leah," he says gravely, "I don't make a habit of running so that should tell you how nasty she is." I nod at that. "I hate vampires," he says absently, "did I tell you that?"

My head perks up at that. "No," I reply, "why?" Julian shrugs. "Every vamp I've ever met…besides my dad…has always treated me like I was less than them. Plus it's the stronger of the two sides of me. That and the fact if I had been fully human I wouldn't have killed my mom…" he lets it drop. "The Cullen's aren't treating you like that," I comment. He gives me a hard look. "Did _you_ see the look on their faces when I told them I've killed their kind?" he asks. Ok, he has a point…but I know why. "They're only used to Nessie," I explain, "and you have to admit…she's sheltered."

Julian nods in agreement. "I lit a cigarette on the porch after breakfast and I thought she was going to have a coronary." "You smoke?" I ask. _That_ is a surprise. "It helps hide my scent," he explains, "so yeah…not as much as I used to though." I shrug. Again not a deal breaker but it sucks he does something to hide that scent I've grown to love so quickly. "She wanted a ride on my bike too," he goes on, "she had asked to go with me and been shot down by her folks and Jake before I asked everyone." I can't help but roll my eyes. "I don't think Jake likes me," he comments.

"You're competition," I say flatly. Now he's the one rolling his eyes. "No I'm not," he replies, "yeah…I came here to check her out. But I see how they feel about each other. I'm just a shiny new toy to her. If she went out with me, she'd drop me as soon as she was bored and go back to Jake. No thank you." "Really?" I ask. He nods. "She loves him," he goes on, "and from what I've gathered your packs bonds with those they care about are strong." "They are," I agree. If he only knew.

He sighs. "Yeah, if she was single I'd be asking her out…she is one of the few women I could have a long-term relationship with," he comments, "but I'm not getting in the middle of her and Jake." I cross my arms across my chest. "So what are you going to do?" I ask. "The woman for me will pop up sooner or later," he sighs, "at least that's what Dad use to tell me. He lived three hundred years before he met Mom." I prop my head on my arm and nod. "You ready?" he asks. "Yeah," I reply.

This isn't some kid I'm hooked up with. Hell, Julian's older than my mom is though he doesn't look a day over twenty-two. He's got one of those faces where he could pass for anything from an older looking sixteen year old to a younger looking thirty if he'd let his hair grow out. He's been around. Julian nailed Renesmee right on the head…and imprinting too rather he knows it or not. She _would_ drop Julian when she got bored or the imprinting magic pulled her away…if she even had the guts to go for it to begin with. His insight is amazing.

Julian pays the check and I go give Charlie a hug. We don't really say anything…he knows I'm a woman of few words. He gives Julian a polite nod but doesn't glare or give him any verbal warnings. Julian gets my helmet buckled for me once we're outside. "Where we going?' he asks. I shrug. "Come on Leah," he groans, "this is your home. I don't know where to go except back to the Cullen's." I huff at that. I don't want him and Renesmee getting too friendly. I can make jokes about him being competition to Jake but if I'm being fair she's _my _competition.

"We'll go to the beach," I decide. "Ok," he replies, "just point." I grin and wrap my arms around his waist. He starts the bike and pulls up. Yeah, the beach won't be crowded today since it's the middle of the week. We can talk there. I keep my arms tightly around his waist all the way to La Push.

Julian follows my directions and we're pulling onto Second Beach in less than ten minutes. He drives more like a vampire than a human does. It's no big deal…I'm use to it and I feel completely safe with my imprint.

I'm beginning to wonder how much of him is human and how much of him is vampire. His body…warm velvet over steel…is better built and more muscled than Renesmee. Also he's venomous. His reflexes seem almost as good as any of the Cullen's and when he thought Seth and Embry were going to attack his mannerism was pure vampire.

Yet he eats more human food than Renesmee. He blends in with humans so well he spent fifteen years in the military. _That_ had to take some skill. He was a medic…then a doctor…so he must have excellent control of his thirst. He's warm. His eyes aren't red or gold like every other vampire I've ever seen. They're more of a human color…like Renesmee's. I wonder if his change…. Renesmee's don't.

Julian sets the kickstand again and parks the bike. "Nice," he comments, "not sunny like you expect the beach to be…but still beautiful." "It's all I know," I say sadly. "Where I'm from," he comments, "the beach is sunny and _hot_. Instead of all the rocks there's pale sand. The water is a lighter blue. This beach looks more mysterious…more wild." He grins. "I like it."

I take Julian's hand and walk him towards the water. He goes easily, content to walk at my pace. I see him pull a red and white pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. "You mind?" he asks. I shrug. "Sorry," he says as he sticks one between his lips, "but being exposed like this…" "Don't worry about it," I reply. He nods and walks around so that he's downwind of me. That's good…it means I can pick up a scent if someone approaches.

I lean against one of the large rocks. "So you want to hear about my ghosts," I begin. "Yeah," he replies. "I don't even know where to begin," I comment. "Why don't you tell me what you were doing in that clearing," he suggests. "That was the sum of all of my ghosts," I whisper, "everything that's happened to me…it just piled up till I couldn't take anymore." Julian sighs, drops his cigarette and crushes it out under his boot. "Well," he says slowly, "what was the icing on the cake? What pushed you over the edge?"

"I can't stop phasing," I reply. He gives me a funny look. "It's what we call morphing into a wolf," I explain. "Ah," he replies, "I see." "I don't know how much you know about our pack," I go on, "but I'm the only female. The rules don't exactly apply to me. I don't want to go into everything…" I pause. "After all that's happened to me I was still strong. I had decided I wanted to stop phasing and live out the rest of my life. If we stop phasing for a while, we age naturally." I look at Julian. He's got his arms crossed over his chest and is watching me closely.

"I can't stop phasing," I continue, "which has never happened to any other wolf. If I try, I'll phase against my will sooner or later. All the research we've done says it's because I haven't…" I pause right there. "Haven't what?" Julian presses. "…Completed my destiny," I finish. Julian nods. "Any idea what that is?" Julian asks. I shrug. "The rules don't apply to me…remember?" I reply. He shrugs. "Well," he drawls slowly, "what was it for the other wolves to stop phasing?"

Well shit. I've been trying to avoid the subject of imprinting. I'm going to have to tread lightly here. Julian is still standing there…waiting patiently for me to explain. He's beautiful with the water in the background though he's beautiful anyway. I take a deep breath. Time to tread lightly.

"Their soul mates," I explain. "Humans I'm guessing," he comments. I nod. "They stopped phasing to age with them," I clarify. "Makes sense," he replies. I grit my teeth and don't respond. "So you need to find your soul mate?" he asks. My jaw doesn't relax. Oh, if he only knew. I've probably said too much already. "That's the theory anyway," I say softly.

"So why kill yourself instead of waiting around for them?" he prods. "It's…complicated," I admit. He snorts. "Is it?" he asks. I nod in agreement. The wind has picked up. "So explain it to me," he says. "You don't want to hear it," I reply. "Try me," he challenges. I roll my eyes. "I could," I snap, "but I'm sure the minute I said 'menstrual cycle' you'd tune me out like the rest of the pack."

Julian's reaction shocks the hell out of me. I see his jaw set and his eyes change from the deep blue I love to black. Ink black…like Alice's hair. His entire body locks up and I hear air hissing between his teeth as he breathes deeply in and out. "I _am_ a doctor Leah," he says in a hard voice, "and I don't appreciate you looking down on me because of what I am…just like everyone else." He turns away from me and I shiver. Those eyes scare me. They remind me of what Julian is.

I detect a little bit of an inferiority complex here…which surprises me. Julian at breakfast was calm, thoughtful, and insightful. This Julian is…pissed. I can relate. If you're told you're less than everyone else all your life you can either start believing it or get mad and fight it. It's what I've always done. Julian snapped at me…but I'm the one feeling bad about it.


	5. Chapter 5

(A/N This was a tough chapter to write. Not because of Leah and Jude's little spat but because I had to put a theory I've always had about Leah into words. I've never _seen_ this theory put out there on FF. If you have...well, I thought I was origional. I'm crossing my fingers it's met with the same enthusiam I had when I came up with it. Thanks to the thump of reviews I got last chapter. They encourage me to type faster! Hope you guys like more Leah/Jude time!)

**I don't own Twilight. I technically don't even own team "Sandwater" b/c I don't own Leah. **

CHAPTER 5-LEAH'S P.O.V.

_I was standing  
all alone against the world outside.  
You were searching  
for a place to hide.  
Lost and lonely  
now you've given me the will to survive.  
When we're hungry...love will keep us alive._

Don't you worry  
sometimes you've just gotta let it ride.  
The world is changing  
Right before your eyes  
Now I've found you  
There's no more emptiness inside  
When we're hungry...love will keep us alive

I would die for you  
Climb the highest mountain  
Baby, there's nothing I wouldn't do

"Love Will Keep Us Alive"

The Eagles

I understand of course. Julian's right. I thought he'd be like all the other guys. Just like all the other vampires he's ever talked about, I thought he'd be less because of what he is. Male in this case…not half-breed. The guys in the pack shudder at any mention of "female problems" and of course I thought he would too. I'm a dumb ass sometimes. "I'm sorry," I whisper. He's fuming and doesn't respond. I hit a nerve with him and I'm sorry for it.

Of course I tell him. "My period stopped when I started phasing," I blurt out. "What's that got to do with it?" Julian asks. "We think we find our soul mates to pass the shape shifter gene," I explain sadly. "Why would I be able to find him if I can't reproduce?" He ponders that for a minute. "So you don't think you'll find your soul mate," he asks, "because you can't pass your gift to the next generation?" "Something like that," I reply.

"Let me get this straight," Julian says, the anger leeching out of his voice, "the theory is your kind finds their soul mate to have babies and secure the next generation." "Right," I reply. "Also," he continues, "you being the only female shifter on record means…in theory…you can't reproduce therefore you won't find that special someone." "Right again," I grumble. "That's why you believe you shifted?" Julian asks. "Because you aren't fertile?" I nod sadly.

Julian begins to slowly pace in front of me obviously deep in thought. I have no idea about what. "I think you're wrong," he says finally. I gawk at him. "Why?" I ask. He takes a deep breath. "Well," he begins, "you said it yourself…the rules don't apply to you. How good is your biology?" "High school level," I admit. He nods thoughtfully. "You said as long as you phase you stay the same," he clarifies, "as in you don't age…right?" I nod. "Ok," he goes on, "I think if you got together with whomever you're destined to be with you could have children."

If this were a daytime soap opera, the dramatic bombshell music would be playing. My jaw drops. "Why?" I ask hesitantly. "Simple biology," he replies, "one of the main differences between men and women is our means of passing our genetic code. Men produce sperm…" "And women produce eggs," I butt in, "I get it." "No you don't," he clarifies, "you don't _produce_ eggs. You're _born_ with them."

My imprint knows more about my reproductive system than I do. That's kind of weird…and kind of hot. Not only that…he's right. A woman's ovaries hold eggs and release one every month…but they don't make them. Plus he didn't blush or mumble when he said "sperm" unlike the rest of the guys. Like I said…this isn't some kid I'm hooked up with.

"So what?" I ask. "Think about it," he explains, "the eggs you have are the eggs you're born with. You have a lot…millions even…but what would happen if you continued to have a period and it was a couple of centuries before you met the guy?" The light bulb over my head finally comes on. "I could be out of eggs," I say softly. "Exactly," he says firmly, "if you're supposed to pass on the shape shifter gene, you have to be able to actually do it. A male doesn't have to worry about it…we produce sperm from puberty throughout our entire adult lives. You don't have that luxury…therefore nature had to make sure you were able to conceive once you met him. Simply put, nature didn't want you to waste those eggs just in case you don't find him for a while."

Holy shit…why didn't I think of that? Hell, why didn't _anyone_ think of that? Of course I know why: I'm the only female. The boys don't know any of this. They weren't the best students in school. The imprints…all female…don't get involved in pack business so they wouldn't have been searching like I have been. The Cullen women can't have kids, so they wouldn't have known. Carlisle _might_ have come up with that theory…but then again I could see how he could miss it. It's almost _too_ easy.

Have you ever seen _Slingblade_? The movie with Billy Bob Thornton as the mentally challenged guy named Carl that talked weird? There's a part in the movie where he had gotten out of the "nervous hospital" as he called it and was working for a small motor repair shop. Several of the guys at the shop…including the owner…couldn't figure out what was wrong with this lawn mower and they asked Carl to take a look. Carl opened the cap, looked in the tank, and said "it ain't got no gas in it". That's what just happened here. We've been looking for an answer…due to my supernatural status…that's too complicated. Julian just looked at it with a fresh pair of eyes and found the simplest answer…which believe it or not might be exactly right.

"That…actually makes sense," I admit. He shrugs. "It's just a theory," he comments, "but from what little I know of your species it fits." I run my fingers through my windblown hair and bite my bottom lip. I'm suppose to give my imprint whatever they need and Julian just gave me something I need…hope. "I'll run it by Carlisle," I tell him. Julian shrugs. "Look on the bright side," he comments, "nature did you another favor. At least you're not the only wolf running through the forest with a tampon string hanging below your tail." I swat his arm and give him a mock scowl. He only laughs in response.

"No point taking yourself off the market permanently Leah," Julian says out of the blue. All trace of laughter is gone. I look up him. His eyes are soft as he looks back. I swallow hard. His voice…tender now…has my knees weakening and my throat going dry. "I don't think I will," I inform him. He doesn't respond. "Seriously," I go on, "it was a bad decision and I try to learn from my mistakes." "Good," he says softly, "the world is a worse place without you."

We lapse into silence for a moment. "Question," Julian asks, "how will you know when you find your soul mate?" "All wolves know," I reply, "we call it imprinting. It's like…gravity moves. That's the best way I can think of to describe it. After you phase for the first time if you run into that person all it takes is eye contact. You're bonded to that person. That person is _everything_ to you." Julian gets a thoughtful look. "Sounds bad," he comments, "I mean the whole 'I'm bound to someone whether I want to be or not'." "It's not," I reply, "imprinting literally heals everything. Being with your imprint literally makes everything ok. It's amazing."

"You sure do know a lot about it," Julian comments. Oh shit. It's time for me to backpedal. "In wolf form we can see into each other's minds," I explain, "I've seen how they feel about their imprints. It's an amazing thing." "So you're looking forward to it?" he asks. I have to think quickly. "I wasn't," I admit, "since the theory's been I can't. Now…" I let it drop. He smiles at that and I can't help but smile back.

"You're easy to talk to," I comment. "I try," he replies with a shrug. "Tell me something about you?" I ask. "Like what?" he asks. I ponder for a moment. Shit, I want to know _everything_. His favorite color…his favorite food…does he like to be on top or bottom. Ok Leah, get it under control. I can't believe I haven't had a conversation with anyone other than the guys in the pack in years and I'm having one now. Not only that…but it's so _easy_ with Julian…so natural. I could talk to him all day.

I give him a once over and notice something. He has a large knife strapped to his belt. No one…vampire or wolf…carries or uses a weapon. Kind of pointless when they don't work against vampires. "Why do you carry that knife?" I ask. He reaches down and pulls it out of the sheath. "I don't like drinking animal blood and leaving the carcass," he explains, "it's wasteful. So I field dress my kill and take some meat to eat later." I nod. Renesmee doesn't do that. It makes a lot of sense though. The knife has a black blade and a leather wrapped handle. It's big…with a blade over six inches long I'm guessing. "Where'd you get it?" I ask. He holds it up by the blade in front of my eyes. The letters 'USN' are stamped near the handle. "It was mine in the service," he explains, "I held onto it the entire time. It's a K Bar knife if you're wondering."

He sheaths the knife and crosses his arms back over his chest. Let's see if I can dig a little deeper. "So no girlfriends?" I ask. He laughs, seemingly not offended by my question. "No permanent ones," he admits, "being saddled with a recon unit mean we were constantly on the move. We'd pick up "dates" when we were on R and R…but no permanent girlfriends. I dated a little once I got back, but nothing serious." "But no sixty year old virgin?" I ask.

Julian laughs again, this time even harder. "You don't mince words," he comments, "I like that in a woman." I could swoon right now. "It was a joke about Edward," I explain, "him being a ninety year old virgin…but don't change the subject." "No," he admits, "I have to be careful obviously. There aren't much risks of me wanting to drain them. I have to watch my strength of course, but I'm pretty well practiced. My biggest concern has always been getting some girl pregnant. I don't want to put a human at risks."

I nod in understanding. Knowing what he did to his mom he wouldn't want to risk that with another woman. That and…like Renesmee…there's no telling how the baby would turn out. "I guess I have to find me a tough woman," he continues, "one that I don't have to be so careful with." "Good luck," I tease. He laughs once again. "Yeah…it ain't easy," he adds. _Easier than you'd imagine_, I think. I find a small rock to sit down on. "You need to find some kind of inner peace," Julian comments.

I look up at him in surprise. "It's been so long," I reply, "I don't know if I can." "It's something you have to find," he replies, "peace doesn't just come to a being. It took me a long time to figure that out…and I'm still looking for complete peace." "How?" I ask. He shrugs. "Like I said," he comments, "it's something you have to seek. He sits down on the ground and pulls his knees up towards his chest. "I can remember making supply runs," he continues, "flying over the jungle after dark in a Huey…that's a helicopter…with Armed Forces Radio playing from a transistor radio hung up in a corner. I'd lean against the M60…look out over the darkness with 'Paint It Black' playing…and just let my brain go numb." His eyes make contact with mine. "If you can find peace in a war zone," he replies, "you're doing alright. It may not be perfect…but you'll be at least alright."

I scoot over closer to him. "You still think about your mom?" I ask. He nods. "Every day," he admits. "Dad had a heart attack after he saw me phase," I tell him, "he expected Seth to phase…but not me. The shock is what killed him." Julian gives a slow nod. "I can understand your feelings about hurting someone you love…whether you meant to or not," I go on, "I still haven't forgiven myself for killing my dad." Julian is staring at his boots. He doesn't comment on what I just told him.

If I didn't love him already, I do now. Admitting he's…flawed…only makes him that much more _real_. All the other wolves go on and on how great and perfect their imprints are whether it's true or not. Those imprints are so high on a pedestal I'm surprised they don't die of oxygen deprivation. Mine isn't some porcelain doll that I want to put on a pedestal. Mine is a real being that doesn't _need_ my protection. I can treat him as my equal. We compliment each other. We can listen and comfort each other. I can treat him as my equal…and I couldn't be happier.

Alice is right. All I have to do is get to know Julian, let him get to know me and things will be fine. We have excellent chemistry. He's easy to talk to. He's funny…and sweet…and well spoken. He has a nice accent. He's good looking too…ok, _damn_ good looking. Our chemistry is so good I'm starting to wonder how he is in bed…and I haven't thought about sex since Sam.

Sam. I can think about Sam without the usual gripping pain in my chest. The absence of the pain is…sublime. Sam…Sam…Sam…Sam. There's nothing. It's like saying Jared's name…or Brady's or Collin's. It's just another name…it doesn't grip my heart with a power that renders me breathless anymore. For the first time in years I feel whole. I feel complete. I actually feel like not only are things going to be ok…I personally am going to be ok.

"I didn't ask you about your dating history," Julian says, mostly to himself. I don't mind the question. "I was engaged," I blurt out, "to Sam. He's the alpha of the La Push pack. Once he became a wolf, he imprinted on my cousin Emily. End of story." He scowls at that. "Imprinting is _that_ strong?" her asks. "It is," I answer flatly, "it's literally like nothing is holding you to this world except that one person." He nods thoughtfully. "When was this?" Julian asks. "Back when Bella was still a human," I reply, "Sam was the first wolf to phase this generation." "That must have sucked for you," he comments dryly. "It did," I admit, "but it's getting better now."

"Is it?" he asks. "Yeah," I reply, "talking helps." "Well, I'm probably going to be around for a while," he replies, "so feel free to use me." Oh, the ways I could use him. I reach over and grasp his hand firmly. "Thanks," I reply. He grins and lets me have his hand. "You're welcome," he replies softly. "Just don't try killing yourself again." "Promise," I agree. He nods gravely. "Seriously," I go on, "I don't feel so alone talking to you." "You're not so bad yourself Leah," he mumbles.

I decide to steer the conversation back to something lighter. "When did you get the bike?" I ask. "It was sitting in someone's yard with a 'For Sale' sign on it," he replies, "outside of Pasadena Texas. It had next to no miles on it. Some guy having a midlife crisis bought it and it scared him so bad the first time he rode it he decided to get rid of it. I could sell it now and still make an awesome profit off of it…he sold it for next to nothing." Julian shrugs. "Your first one?" I ask. He shakes his head and pulls his cigarettes out of his pocket. "I bought my first one when I got back to the states," he replies, "that was February 1976." "All Harley's?" I ask. Roland shakes his head and lights his cigarette. "I had a crotch rocket in the mid eighties," he replies, "but I got tired of it. It's not a comfortable to ride as a cruiser. Besides, a Harley sends a message." I grin at that. I'm beginning to wonder what he looks like in chaps.

"Do Seth, Embry, and Quil have imprints?" Julian asks. "Quil does," I reply, "he imprinted on a girl named Claire. Seth and Embry are still waiting." Julian nods. "When's the wedding?" he asks. "Claire's ten," I reply, "Quil imprinted on her when she was two." Julian gawks at me. "It's not like that," I cut in, "though I gave Quil the same shit. A wolf will be whatever his imprint needs. When she was a baby, she needed a babysitter…a protector. Quil's been just that. I've seen in his mind Julian…Quil is worse than a first-time father with her. There's nothing sick about it."

Julian nods thoughtfully. "Is that…normal?" he asks. I can only shrug. "Normally I would say no," I reply, "but this generation has been anything but normal. We've had our first toddler imprint and first half-breed imprint…not to mention first female werewolf." I sigh. Julian snatches his hand out of mine. I turn to look at Julian and recoil again.

His eyes have turned back to black. "Temperamental, aren't you?" I joke. He only glares at me. "What's wrong?" I ask, the smile vanishing. "I would appreciate it," he spits, "if you wouldn't refer to me or my species as 'half-breed'." I don't respond. Hell, I don't know what to say. A first…I know. "Think about it Leah," he growls, "if you imprinted on a non-Quileute…and someone called your child a 'half-breed'…how would _you_ react?" "I'd be pissed," I admit sadly. "Exactly," he growls.

The pain in my chest is so bad I could cry. I hurt my imprint. I've seen in the pack mind and heard their tales of woe…but feeling it is _so_ much worse. I could literally crawl under a rock and die. Of course he's right. He has every right to be angry…it just hurts. My heart is breaking and I can't stand it another second.

"I'm sorry Julian," I say quickly. He doesn't respond. I scoot closer to him and put my hand on his shoulder. "Seriously," I reply, "I didn't think. Your…species…is so new I didn't think that the term might be derogatory to you." Julian's jaw relaxes slightly but he still doesn't say anything. I give his shoulder a gentle squeeze. It seems to calm him some. "I don't like the vampire part of me Leah," he admits, "it's probably the stronger of my two sides…but I don't like it."

I nod in understanding. "What is the…proper…term?" I ask. "I'd prefer hybrid," Julian says. I watch as his eyes fade back to blue. Wow…fading from black to blue is sexy as hell! "Then I won't say half-breed anymore," I promise, "you're good enough to befriend a crazy wolf girl…it's the least I can do." Julian smiles slightly at that. "You're alright Leah," he says again, "I'm glad I tore you door off your car." I can't help but chuckle at that.

Julian lifts his head so that he's facing the sky. "It's going to rain tonight," he says absently. I look out over the ocean. You can see the clouds beginning to roll in. He sighs. "I guess we need to head back," he says. I nod, though I really don't want to. I look at my watch. Shit, it's almost five. We've spent the entire day together. Not that there's anywhere else I'd rather be…but time just flew today.

I turn around in time to watch Julian pitch his cigarette butt onto the ground and gracefully rise to his feet. Damn he can move. He offers me his hand to help me up and I gladly accept. He makes sure my helmet is buckled once again and mounts the bike before steadying it so I can get on. I hold him tighter this time. I know we'll probably part tonight, so I want to get my fill before then. "Can you hear me?" I ask. "Yeah," he asks as he pulls onto the highway. "Can I ask you something that might sound weird?" I ask. "Sure," he replies. I can picture him smirking as he says it. "What do I smell like?" I ask.

He responds immediately. "Jasmine and vanilla," he replies. "I don't smell bad?" I press. "Nope," he replies into the mic, "really nice actually." I'm glad he can't see me blush. "Why?" he asks. "The vampires smell bad to us," I explain, "and we smell bad to them. Nessie doesn't…and she says Jake doesn't to her. I just wondered." "You smell wonderful Leah," he replies. I want to squeal like Alice at that. That's one less worry off my mind.

"What about me?" he asks. "You smell good enough to eat," I admit. He laughs at that. "Seriously," I go on, "you smell like clover, gun oil, and just a hint of peppermint. It's different…but nice." "Gun oil smells nice?" he asks. "It has sort of a fruity scent," I reply, "but not too much. It's also slightly sweet without being overpowering like a vampire. I like it." "Thanks…I think," Julian replies. I smack him playfully on the shoulder. The bike doesn't sway an inch. His laugh echoes in my ear as he guns the engine.

He's _really_ leaning on the gas as we fly back towards the Cullen's. I squeeze him tighter and press my chest against his back. "You still ok?" he asks. "I'm great," I tell him. If he only knew how good I _really_ was. "How fast can we go?" I ask. "We're doing about ninety-five," he say off-handedly, "I can get to one forty if you want." I gulp. It wouldn't kill me…and it would heal…but it would suck if he laid this thing down. "Let's try for a hundred," I suggest. He laughs and pushes the throttle harder.

We're fast in wolf form…and I'm the fastest of both packs…but even I can't do one hundred miles per hour. Julian has the bike under control and takes every curve like he _owns _it. He leans the bike so far I'm clutching him for dear life despite myself. He only chuckles. The bike is as steady as a rock the entire way to the Cullen's driveway.

Alice is waiting on the porch when we pull into the yard with a huge grin on her face. "Pull it into the garage," she yells over the engine, "it's going to rain tonight." Julian nods and holds my hand as I dismount. I walk over towards him so that he can help me with the helmet. He then buckles it to the sissy bar and pulls the bike into the Cullen's garage. "How'd it go?" Alice asks. "Not bad," I reply, "we talked. It's kind of at the feeling out stage…but I think you were right." Alice's grin widens. "You'll learn not to bet against me," she teases. "Yeah, yeah," I grumble. Her smile never falters. "Stay in the house tonight," she suggests, "so you don't have to sleep out in the rain."

"Ok," I relent, "though I'm going to have to go see Mom soon." "What are you going to tell her?" Alice asks. I shrug. "Nothing…yet," I reply, "she doesn't need to know I tried to kill myself yesterday morning and met my imprint yesterday afternoon. I'll tell her as soon as we get this straightened out." Alice nods thoughtfully. "Maybe you should tell him first…then her…then let them meet?" she suggests. "Good plan," I admit. We hear the engine cut off. "We'll talk later," she whispers before prancing back into the house.

Seth's grin is so wide I'm beginning to think his face is going to split. "I told the guys that you imprinted," he whispers, "and of course nothing's going to be said till you give the go ahead." I nod thoughtfully. "Everybody ok with it?" I ask. "Everyone in the pack is," Seth says softly. I raise an eyebrow in question. "Let's take a walk," he suggests.

Seth and Julian pass greetings as we walk outside. I tell Julian that Seth and I were handling some "family business". Julian nods and goes in to hang out with whoever's around. Seth doesn't say anything as we walk. "Trying to get out of hearing range?" I mumble. Seth nods. "It might be better if we phased," he admits, "that way we'd only have to worry about Edward."

I give him a piercing look. Out of everyone in our pack Seth is the friendliest to the vampires. He's been that way since the beginning. If Seth wants to keep something from Edward, it must have to do with Edward…or at least with a member of his family and not the pack. "Let's phase," I suggest, "then we'll run the border." "Sounds good," he agrees.

I drop my clothes as soon as I'm in the tree line and let the heat flow down my spine. Seth is waiting for me…but he had fewer clothes to take off. "_How'd it go?"_ he ask. We begin running and I let the day's events replay in my head. "_Leah_," Seth says once I'm finished, "_that dude is awesome. Seriously sis, he's perfect for you!" _"_Seth_," I grumble, "_are you developing a man crush on Julian?" _Seth snorts. "_I can't like my sister's imprint_?" he asks. "_Joking_," I reply, "_but seriously…what's up?"_

Seth's thoughts get real quiet for a moment. "_Jude's stirred up some shit in the Cullen's household by being here_," he admits. "_Like_?" I ask pointedly. Seth sighs. "_Renesmee's taken an interest in him_," Seth explains, _"for several reasons. First is he's a hybrid like she is. Rosaline's feeding her ideas that maybe Jude would be a better match for her than 'one of the dogs'"._ I growl at that. I maybe the one that turns into a wolf but Rosaline is the bitch in that house.

"_The second is…well quite frankly, Renesmee thinks Jude's hot and he doesn't pay her any attention_," Seth adds. I roll my eyes_. "Julian's not Jacob_," I snort, _"he's not going to trip over himself simply because she bats her eyes at him_." "_I know that_," Seth replies quickly, "_and Jake knows that_. _However Jake's getting a little aggravated at being compared to Jude. Ever since Renesmee's fully matured, she's been all about Jake. Now that Jude's in the picture, she's not as interested_." "_Julian knows that_," I point out, "_he knows that they're meant to be together. He knows about the imprint_." I replay the part of our conversation earlier where Julian compared himself to a "shiny new toy".

Seth huffs. "_Dude's smart_," he thinks. "_Yeah_," I agree, "_like Mom and Dad smart_." "_Is it…weird…him being as old as he is?_" Seth asks. "_Nah_," I reply, "_he pretty much acts as young as he looks…just more mature than you guys." _Seth snorts at that comment. _"When are you going to tell him_?" Seth asks. "_I figured the time would just present itself_," I reply, "_I don't like how everyone else has just busted out and said it to their imprints and left them trying to figure shit out. I'd rather Julian feel it for himself and then explain it to him_." Seth nods in my peripheral vision. I then replay the conversation I just had with Alice. "_It's a good plan_," Seth thinks, "_just don't wait too long to tell him. You don't want this one getting away Leah_."

"_You really do have a man crush_," I comment. "_No_," he snaps_, "I just haven't seen my sister this happy in years. It makes me happy too_." Kid's got a point. "_Let's get some food_," Seth thinks. "_Alright_," I agree. I can feel the pull in my chest wanting me to go back to Julian. Seth is grinning in his thoughts. "_No comment_," I snap, "_and I'll race ya back_."


	6. Chapter 6

(A/N Sorry for the delay in posting. Friday the 13th killed my internet connection Friday and traffic's so slow on the weekends I figured I'd just wait till today. This chapter isn't for Renesmee fans...apologies in advance.)

**Still trying...but still don't own Twilight. **

CHAPTER 6-LEAH'S P.O.V.

_Someone told me long ago  
there's a calm before the storm.  
I know.  
It's been comin' for sometime.  
When it's over so they say  
it'll rain on a sunny day,  
I know.  
Shining down like water._

"Have You Ever Seen the Rain" Credence Clearwater Revival

I wake up in the Cullen's guestroom with the sound of rain pattering on the roof. I sit up and stretch, surprised that the tugging in my chest is now familiar and welcoming. I can't be sure…I don't have enough experience with it yet…but judging by the intensity of the pull I'd say Julian is downstairs. There's another pair of new jeans and a white blouse on the foot of my bed. It looks like Alice has struck again.

I take my time in the shower. The water feels nice and I want to shave my legs again. I take a moment to blow dry my hair and let it hang down. Julian seemed to like that. The jeans are riding low and the shirt shows a little bit of stomach. It's sexy without being too much. I'm going to have to do my nails soon. Shit…I haven't thought about doing my nails in years. That sounds like another job for Alice.

Esme is in the kitchen when I pad downstairs. Everyone…by everyone I mean "everyone that eats"…is sitting around the dining room table. "Morning Leah," Seth says cheerfully, "I saved you a seat." He did…right next to Julian. "Thanks," I mumble as I sit down. Julian gives me a small smile and I smile back. He points at the coffeepot on the table and I nod.

Julian reaches for the pot and I look around the table. Julian is sitting at the head with me on his left. Renesmee is on his right…and scowling. Jake is beside her…and scowling. Seth is beside me and is wearing his usual smile. Embry is beside Seth and talking to Quil about Julian's bike. "Thank you," I tell Julian after he pours me coffee. "Welcome," he says softly, reaching for his own cup.

Esme comes in with a platter of bacon, eggs, and toast. I hold back while Jake, Seth, Embry, and Quil dig in. I notice Julian is the last to get food. He doesn't seem hungry. I wonder if he'll need to hunt soon. "So the pack pretty much crashes here?' Julian asks. "Not usually," Quil answers, "we all have homes on the reservation…and Claire is there. Since this is where our alpha is, we tend to migrate towards him. Besides…Esme is an _excellent _cook."

"Beats living in an old trailer," I hear Jake grumble under his breath. Seth throws Jake a disapproving look. Personally I'm ready to leap over the table and stab him in the damn eye with my fork. Julian ignores him. "I can't argue with y'all," Julian comments, "for someone that doesn't eat food…her culinary skills are amazing." All heads nod in agreement.

"So what do y'all do for fun?" he asks. I want to swoon at him saying "y'all" again. "Kill strange vampires," Jake says through gritted teeth. Embry rolls his eyes and I fume. "Lately we've been debating on what we're going to do once the Cullen's leave," Seth explains, "other than that and patrolling once in a while we've been a little sedated lately." "What are you thinking?" Julian asks.

Jake cuts Seth off before he can answer. "That's pack business," he says firmly, "if we told you…we'd have to kill you." I can't bite back the growl at that which surprises everyone at the table. Quil, Seth, and Embry are staring at me with open-mouthed shock. Why I don't know…it's not the first time I've growled at _either _alpha. Renesmee is staring daggers at me with her eyes. Jake hasn't taken his eyes of Julian. Shit everyone is _tense_ this morning.

Julian only rolls his eyes. "That's fine oh mighty alpha," he sneers, "I know I don't have the proper security clearance." "New Hampshire," I answer for him, "since Bella and Edward had originally wanted to go to Dartmouth before Renesmee was born they want to do it now that she's fully grown. We're talking about maybe Quil going back to Sam's pack and the rest of us going with them. Since we're not aging, it's going to be tough for us to stay here much longer. Besides, Sam's got plenty of wolves." Julian smiles at me and I feel myself melting. "Thank you Leah," he replies, "but don't get yourself in trouble with your alpha." "I'm beta of this pack," I declare, "and I think you can be trusted." "Why _is_ that Leah?" Renesmee asks.

Her tone can only be described as fake curiosity. She _knows_ he's my imprint. She also knows it's a rule in this…and Sam's…pack that only the wolf that imprinted on someone is allowed to tell said person that fact. She's about to put herself into a grow-up game that she's not prepared to deal with. I can see Jake eyeing me warily. I wouldn't _physically _hurt his imprint, but I wouldn't hesitate to set her straight.

The silence is almost audible. "Julian has proven himself trustworthy," I answer. I hope that's enough. "Is _that_ all?" Renesmee pushes. "I mean…don't you think that _maybe_ there's a bigger reason for your trust?" "Drop it Nessie," Jacob says softly. "Yeah Nessie," I growl, "you're not old enough to play with the big kids."

The look on her face tells me I hit a nerve. Renesmee gives an audible sigh. "It's too bad," she says absently, "I think this pack should be honest." My hands have started to tremor. Jake has started glaring at me and moving closer to Nessie. "The pack's not honest?' Julian asked, surprised. "Not all of us," Nessie replies, "some of us have their secrets." "Everyone has secrets," Julian replies, "you…me…everyone." Nessie shrugs. "Well maybe being a psycho bitch isn't Leah's _only_ secret," she replies in a haughty voice.

That's it. That little bitch! The heat radiates down my spine and I phase before I can think the 'b' in 'bitch'. My clothes are shredded in an instant. It's so sudden I don't even think about it. _How DARE she_, I think. It's audible to the room in the form of my most menacing growl. The room is alive with activity. Embry, Seth and Quil jump behind me. Jacob has thrown the table out of the way and is between Renesmee and me. Edward and Bella…coming from I have no idea where…are in front of Jake. Julian quickly moves to stand beside me.

"Don't phase Jacob," Edward snaps. Jacob is shaking…but he's holding it together. He's holding it together better than I am anyway. "Leah," Bella says in a soft voice, "Renesmee owes you an apology. However if you attack Edward and I will be forced to defend our daughter. Please don't make us do that. She was wrong to be so cruel…but nothing she said deserves death for either of you." I feel a hand on the back of my neck. Seth is the closest to me. "Renesmee," Edward says firmly, "you will apologize…now." Renesmee snorts indignantly. Edward's jaw clenches. "I mean it little girl," he says in a harder voice, "we did not raise you to be like this."

I look up at her. "Sorry Leah," she says softly with as much sincerity as most politicians. I snort in response. I don't think Edward believes her either. "Wow," Julian comments, "is there usually this much drama in a coven?" "We are a family Jude," Edward says flatly, "every family has disagreements." I feel the hand on the back of my neck move upwards toward my head. Then I see Seth take a step away from me. That's not Seth's hand.

This hand is higher up on my head now…under my ear. It's rubbing is almost sensuous. No one in the pack would touch another wolf like that…and the hand isn't cold enough to be a Cullen. I cut my eyes over. Julian is absently rubbing me, looking at Edward. Wow…my anger is gone. I could probably phase back now. I've seen other wolves…Paul especially…get angry in human form and be instantly calm with one touch by their imprints. Julian calmed yesterday at my touch also. I roll my head into his hand, returning his affection. I want to tell him thank you. I can't phase back now though…I shredded my clothes.

The opposite side of the room is calmer. Bella has a soft smile on her face. Renesmee is still scowling…but she's the only one. Edward's eyes have softened. Even Jake has dropped his guard a little. "Leah," Edward says, "why don't you take a run and finish cooling off?" I huff at that. "Go ahead Leah," Julian adds. I look at him. If he's angry he's doing a really good job hiding it. I turn and begin sulking out of the room. "Edward," I hear Julian say, "I think me and Renesmee need to have a talk."

I head towards the river and make a hard right turn to run parallel with it as I run try to run out my frustration. It's still sprinkling rain. I can't believe she did that! I also can't believe I phased. I haven't phased in anger in years. Of course I know why…she was going to say something that might hurt my imprint. Julian didn't _look_ concerned about my phasing…but like most vampires he's probably good at hiding his emotions. Damn…what a mess. I been worrying myself sick trying to figure out how to show Julian I'm ok and _this_ happens? Fuck! I hope he isn't mad at me.

I feel a familiar shimmer as another of the pack phases. I huff and slow my run to shift back so I'll have some privacy. I figured it would be Jake phasing to chew me out but instead it's Quil. _Don't Leah_, comes the frantic thought. _Quil_, I think, _leave me alone._ He huffs in his thoughts. _This concerns your imprint_, he thinks to me, _I thought you might want to hear this. I know if it concerned Claire I would. They're not talking in private? _I think. Quil snorts in his mind. _You think the Cullen's or Jake would let her be alone? _Quil thinks in a mocking tone. _Especially when Edward's probably gotten a good look in Jude's mind what he's going to tell her?_ He has a point. I have no idea what Julian has to say but knowing Edward if it's anything worse than a minor scolding the Cullen's will be there to guard her.

I look through Quil's eyes to see everyone is gathered on the porch. Julian is leaning against the far rail with his arms across his chest and a lit cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth. I notice Seth and Embry are flanking him. _They are our allies,_ Quil guesses, _the Cullen's I mean. However if they decide to attack one of our imprints…_ He lets it drop. The rest of the Cullen's…minus Carlisle who's at work and Esme who's probably cleaning up Jake's mess…are on the opposite side of the porch. I notice Jacob is with Renesmee and not the pack.

"What was that Renesmee?" Julian asks. His voice is calm. The voice reminds me of my Dad's when he was trying to get to the bottom of what Seth or I was thinking. "Why were you purposefully baiting Leah?" "Leah wasn't being honest," Nessie replies, "she should tell you…" "Leah doesn't have to tell me anything," Julian cuts her off. "If Leah has anything to say she will say it when she's good and ready. You were baiting her Renesmee. You _wanted_ to embarrass her…and I don't like it."

Jake growls and I find myself growling back from several miles away. Julian looks at him with hard eyes. "This only proves my point," Julian says, acknowledging Jacob, "she needs to grow up…and this _family_ needs to make her." None of the Cullen's reply. "There was no need for that drama," Julian goes on, "she was just stirring the pot because she's so damn bored she needs _something _to do." "You don't know anything about me," Renesmee hisses.

"Yeah…I do," Julian replies. "I know _exactly_ your problem because I had the same one. You've been coddled and spoiled by your immortal family with their overwhelming wealth and you have no idea how to be an adult. You've never had to be an adult and it's going to be your downfall. It's not nice to play with people's emotions Renesmee…and no one likes a spoiled brat." Renesmee huffs in annoyance. Julian's eyes are locked on hers. Jake growls again and I speed up my run. _Everything's cool_, Quil thinks to me, _just relax Leah. We got his back._

"He's right," comes a small voice from the back of the Cullen's group. "I've warned you Edward," Alice chirps in a sad voice, "I've warned you that we've been spoiling her. I've only been able to see bits of her future…but what I've seen isn't all that good. You've seen the visions Edward." "Fuck you," Renesmee snarls at Julian. He doesn't move an inch. "You're a bad ass when you've got six vampires backing you up," Julian growls. "Too bad you don't have the backbone to face any problem on your own. I wonder…what's going to happen if you ever find yourself alone? It's obvious you can't take care of yourself."

"She doesn't have to," Jacob growls, "she has me." "And that's her problem," Julian explains, "you love her don't you Jacob?" "She's _perfect_," Jake replies. Julian rolls his eyes. "She's your imprint," he continues, "so in your eyes she can do no wrong…just like the rest of her family. She's not going to grow up if y'all keep treating her like a princess. Treat her like a daughter…or a niece…or a girlfriend. She needs to learn the world doesn't revolve around her. She's like some storybook princess that needs to figure out how the other half lives. Otherwise she's going to end up hurting herself…and all of you."

Wow. My imprint is tough! "What's the matter Nessie?" Julian asks. "Jake's your boyfriend. Yet you've been making eyes at me since the moment I walked in the door." I wait to see if she denies it. Her head is down and her cheeks are flushed with shame…but she doesn't say anything. "You _have_ the man of your dreams," Julian goes on, "but the moment someone shiny and new comes along you're already looking to see if the grass is greener. You know, there are names for girls like you." Rosalie hisses from the second row.

Quil tenses at Rosalie but Julian again doesn't react. "Hell," he continues, "you and I couldn't even have an adult conversation without all these chaperones. That doesn't say much about you Renesmee." He pauses long enough to pitch his cigarette butt into the grass and exhales smoke out of his lungs. "While I disapprove of your methods Julian," Edward comments, "I must agree with the majority of your sentiment." Renesmee gawks at her dad. Bella is nodding in agreement. So are Alice and Jasper.

"Anyone want to hear a story?" Julian asks. No on speaks up. There's silence for several beats. "I do," Alice chimes in. Of course Alice would bail him out…she's already made it clear she agrees with him. Julian nods. He then sits on the porch rail. "Right when I finished maturing," Julian begins, "I was just like you Renesmee. Dad had money…lots of it. He was also so guilty about Mom's death he wouldn't tell me when I was messing up. I could have anything I wanted. Know what I wanted?" No one answers. "I wanted to slog through the swamp and hunt…that's it. Dad thought it was a waste. Like you I have a brain that's pretty much vampire. I can learn how to do anything if I try. Dad though I would have a better life if I joined the human world…and I resented him for that."

"I was also disgusted by him," Julian goes on, "because he refused to stop hunting humans. It didn't seem right…Mom was a human. So I can't lie, I ragged his ass constantly about it. I was too spoiled to think about what the guilt was doing to him or that maybe I should try being supportive instead of nagging. However…just like you…I was only concerned with myself." Julian pauses. "All he wanted," he continues, "was for me to acclimate myself in the human world…and I refused him. We might have been able to reach a compromise…then again maybe not. I didn't even bother to try."

He takes a deep breath. "I was also too guilt ridden about Mom," he goes on, "because unlike you…I killed her. So I thought and thought through most of 1959 on how I could both honor Mom and piss off Dad. That's why I joined the Navy. Of course Dad hated it…but he was just like your entire family. I wanted something…he gave it to me. Right or wrong, I got what I wanted…or what I _thought_ I wanted."

All eyes are on Julian. Even Renesmee is looking at him with wonder instead of malice. "I finally grew up in Vietnam," he admits, "twelve years of war will do that. There is where I learned that there's more to this existence than playing dress-up or with other people's hearts. I've seen humans die in the most disturbing ways Renesmee. Napalm…claymore mines…bayonets…you name it. Hell, I've seen more gunshot wounds than the Seattle coroner's office. That's not what made me an adult though. What made me an adult was being my platoon's doc. I learned to care for other people and not just myself. That's what you need to learn."

He jumps lightly down off the rail. "Don't join the military," he suggests, "it's not for everyone…especially those of us that don't really have any loyalty to a certain country. It will just piss you off…make you a little jaded. I think that happened to a lot of veterans." He sighs. "You have a great life Renesmee," he say softly, "you shouldn't waste it. You need to decide what kind of being you want to become. Yeah, you have people that can take care of you. You would just feel better if you could take care of yourself."

Julian looks up at the vampires. "Now that I've saved Leah, met Renesmee, warned you about Maria, and said my peace here," he finishes, "I think it's about time for me to head on down the road. I think I've probably overstayed my welcome." I'm running back towards the Cullen's before I even realize it. I can't let him leave…I need him. "That's not necessary Julian," Edward replies, "we still need to decide on the best course of action." "I think I've already stirred up enough," Julian replies.

"No," Renesmee says. All eyes turn to her. "Can…I talk to him…alone?" she asks. Rosalie hisses and Jacob begins shaking his head furiously. She looks up at Edward. "Please?" she asks. "I really have something to say." Edward eyes her carefully. He and Bella share a look and she nods. "We won't be far," he promises. _I want to hear this_, I think to Quil. _I'm not going anywhere_, Quil thinks back.

Everyone goes back into the house. Quil is hiding in the tree line so I can both see and hear what's going on in his mind. Julian and Renesmee don't say anything for a couple of minutes. Alice comes outside with some clothes and puts them on the steps. "For Leah," she explains before darting back into the house. As soon as she's gone it's quiet again.

"I'm sorry for how I acted Jude," Nessie begins. "You don't have to apologize to me," he replies, "though I would think your parents, Jake, and Leah all deserve one." She sighs and nods. "It's just," she explains, "you're like me. You're a hybrid. You understand more about my life than anyone." She lets her head drop and bites her bottom lip. "I just thought maybe we should get to know each other and see where it took us," she goes on, "and when I saw you getting close to Leah…" She lets it drop. Julian chuckles. "I don't think Leah's ready to date anyone," he replies, "she needs to heal whatever hurt she has before she can let another person in."

I wait for Renesmee to rat me out but she doesn't. "You don't think we could…date?" she asks. Julian shakes his head. "Ness," he says as he runs his hand over the top of his short hair, "you might not believe this…but if we were to kiss it would feel…wrong." She raises her head at that. "You love Jake," he goes on, "you feel for him…and if you tried to put me in his place it would never be right." She nods thoughtfully at that. "He has always been here for me," she says softly. Julian smiles. "And I dare say he'll continue to be there," he replies.

"How'd you get so smart?" she asks. "Decades of trying," he admits. She relaxes her posture. "Think I'll ever get like that?" she asks. Julian laughs. "If you work on it," he replies. She nods. "I didn't say anything here today to be cruel," he says, "I'm really concerned Nessie. You're going down the same path I was. It took me over a decade to get my head screwed on right. I'm glad to see you're smarter than I was."

"So since I can't go off to war," she asks, "how am I suppose to grow up?" Julian chuckles at that. "Just try being an adult," he replies. Renesmee gives him a puzzled look. "When's the last time you made a decision about your life that was all your own?" he asks. "When's the last time you decided something about your life for yourself? Something like going to school…or what kind of car you drive…or even what you're wearing instead of someone in your family weighing in on it?"

"I…don't know," Renesmee admits. "Then you need to take charge of your life," Julian says firmly, "like Jake. Who decided you two were dating?" "No one," she admits, "we just…are." Julian grins. "Then maybe you two should talk and make it an official decision," he replies, "I'm sure it's ok with him…you _are_ his imprint…but something that important should be decided…not just is."

"Now remember," he goes on, "your parents are your parents. That means they have veto powers over some of this. They can, will, and should stop you if they catch you rolling a joint behind the house or trying to steal a car. Once you've shown you can responsibly make your own decisions, they'll get off your back. Until then…at least listen to them." She nods. "And do what I said…make amends with your parents, Jake, and Leah." She nods again. "Thanks Jude," she says.

She steps up and hugs him tightly. I want to growl, but I don't. It doesn't look like she's crossing any lines. Julian hugs her back. "I want us to be close Renesmee," he whispers, "you and I are two of a kind. I just don't want you stuck in limbo because you don't at least _try_ to grow up." She nods against his chest. "I think I'm ready," she whispers. He smiles. "You'll do fine," he promises, "and if you need advice or just want to talk…I'm here."

I must admit…I'm impressed. His advice sounds like something a grandfather would give…not a twenty-something year old. It's tough to remember Julian really is old enough to be my grandfather. _Old enough to be my 'Daddy' too_, I think. _God Leah_, Quil's thoughts sputter, _that's sick!_ Oops. I forgot Quil was still here. I can't help but laugh though. I've had to deal with the rest of the pack thinking about either graphic sex or their imprints. Payback's a bitch!

I wait till they break apart and trot into the yard. "I'm going to talk to Mom and Dad," Renesmee tells him. She gives me a look…sad and without malice this time…and hurries into the house. _Thanks Quil_, I think. _Welcome, _he replies _I'm going to La Push to check on Claire._ I see him turn and leave out of the corner of my eye. I trot up to the house and pick the clothes up in my mouth. "Trailer's unlocked if you need to use it," Julian says as he lights up another cigarette. I huff and walk to the wood line. I don't want to get his living space dirty.

I look like a drowned rat by the time I get back to the porch. Alice has me another pair of jeans and a blouse…green this time. Again it shows off just enough without crossing the line into slutty. Not that it really matters at this point. I don't think I'll impress anyone soaked to the skin like I am right now.

Julian and Alice are sitting on the railing when I slog up onto the porch. "Good run?" Julian asks. I tuck my hair behind my ear and nod. Alice is grinning. "I'm guessing Quil filled you in on the excitement," she comments. "Yeah," I admit, "I can't believe Edward, Bella, and Jake stood by and let him rip her a new one." Alice shrugs. "Her future looks better," she admits, "all Jude said was what Jasper and I have been wanting to for a while now." I shrug. "I wish someone had kicked my ass when I was her age," Julian admits, "it might have saved me a lot of grief."

Alice abruptly jumps off the rail. "I'll let you two talk," she says, throwing me a wink as she dances past me. I look up at Julian. He seems deep in thought. "I'm sorry about phasing like that," I say, "I haven't lost my composure like that in years." "No worries," Julian replies, "though I must admit I'm curious as to what the big deal is." I look down at my feet. "I'm not quite ready to talk about it," I whisper. "Alright," he relents, "but I'm here if you change your mind." "Thanks," I whisper.

"You look beautiful in your wolf form," he says absently. I look up at him. "You're beautiful as a human," he backpedals, "but I was surprised at how you looked when you phased." "Thank you," I say softly. He grins. "You're soft too," he comments, "not coarse like I thought your fur would be." I feel blood rushing to my cheeks.

"Would you…go out with me?" I blurt out. Holy shit…where did _that_ come from? Of all the times to open my mouth without thinking. Julian's lips tighten up. "I don't know," he replies. Ok, I'm at a loss for words. I know what to do if he says _yes_. I even know what to do when he says _no_…which was the answer I expected. But _I don't know_? "You don't know?" I ask. He shrugs. "It's a simple question Julian," I snort. "Is it?" he asks.


	7. Chapter 7

(A/N Thanks for the reviews guys and gals. Keep it up!)

**I don't own Twilight. I don't own...but I'm the president...of Team Sandwater.**

CHAPTER 7-LEAH'S P.O.V.

_I work hard every day of my life.  
I work till I ache my bones.  
At the end I take home my hard-earned pay all on my own.  
I get down on my knees  
and I start to pray.  
Till the tears run down from my eyes.  
Lord - somebody - somebody  
Can anybody find me - somebody to love?_

"Somebody to Love"

Queen

I open my mouth to tell him it is that simple, but close it. Obviously he's thinking about something. "Are you sure you want to date right now?" he asks. "Considering all that's happened." "What's wrong with wanting to do something normal?" I ask. He seems to consider that for a moment. Was I wrong? Is he not interested? Does he think I'm _too_ fucked up?

"What about your future imprint?" Julian asks. "I'm sure he won't mind," I say quickly. Julian nods. He looks like he's considering it. I shift my weight uncomfortably. If he says no I swear I might throw myself off the roof…not that it would do anything. Isn't this typical? The day I decide to kill myself my imprint shows up and actually has to rescue me. I just wish I knew if he was interested.

"What did you have in mind?" he asks. I want to jump up and cheer. He's obviously interested. "Nothing major," I reply, "dinner…maybe a movie…or a club. You know…the stuff people do on dates." He nods thoughtfully. "Your place or mine afterwards?" he asks. "Oh," I snap, "you think you're getting lucky tonight?" "Maybe," he teases, "I can be charming if I want to be." He's _flirting_ with me. Ok Leah…play it cool. "Cocky aren't we?" I ask. Truthfully he'd have my panties around his head in the blink of an eye if he tried…though I don't want him to know that yet. "No," he admits, his smile dropping, "just yanking your chain a little."

"It's alright Julian," I say softly, "I know you were just flirting with me. It's ok…that's what normal guys do with normal girls." His mouth is set in a tight line. "It's not a question of attraction Leah," he replies, "you're a beautiful woman. You've just had too much happen to you and I don't want to make things worse." I can't help but smile at that. His concern is for _me_? "You don't," I reply, "if anything you make things better." His smile is back. "Come on," I press, "come show a lady a good time."

"You're not an angry drunk, are you?" he asks. "Nah," I tease, "though I might dance on a table." His smile widens. Good…I got him back. "Ok," he agrees. "Ok?" I ask. I heard him just fine…I just want to hear him say it again. "Ok," he says again.

YES! "I need to run into town," I say, "to get some clothes from home and hit the ATM." "I'll pay," he says softly. I roll my eyes in mock irritation. "Seriously," he continues, "you said I was taking you out. Let me." I take a deep breath and nod. That's even better…I was going to have to beg either Mom, Seth, or Alice for money. "What time is it?" I ask. He looks at his watch…his _really_ expensive watch. "Almost one," he replies. "Let's meet at three," I suggest, "we can be in Port Angeles by four…have an early dinner…then either catch a movie, hit some clubs, or both." "Sounds good," he replies.

I excuse myself and go inside to return Alice's clothes and find my own so I can go home. Alice is waiting at the bottom of the staircase. "You need my help," she says. It's not a question or an offer…it's a demand. I almost tell her I don't. However my wardrobe at home is lacking and if anyone could make me look stunning for my first date with my imprint, it would be Alice. Hell, I owe her…this will help make up some of the difference. "Casual," I say firmly, "dinner…movie…maybe dancing." Alice rolls her eyes. "Let me work my magic then," she huffs.

I follow her up the stairs and into her room. "Jazz," she says to her husband, "I need to make Leah fabulous for her first date with Jude." Jasper gives me a grin. "I'll be in Carlisle's study if y'all need a guy's opinion," he says with a wink. "Thank you dear," she says, blowing him a kiss. He winks again…this time at her…and leaves the room.

Alice then stands off to the side and begins tapping her chin with her index finger. "Casual," she mutters to herself, "but still sexy. Let's see…" She begins to walk slowly around me, inspecting me from every angle. "Ok Leah," she says after making a circle. "You have an _excellent _body…good hair…nice features…" She cocks her head to the side. "You'll be easy. There's just one problem…you'll have to wear Rosalie's clothes." I groan. It's bad enough I'll smell like vampire. Now I'll have to smell like my least favorite vampire. "Relax," she soothes, "I know the perfect outfit…and she hasn't worn it yet so you won't have to worry about it smelling too much like vampire." She then takes my hand and pulls me to the bathroom. "Shower," she orders.

Alice isn't even gone long enough for me to get the water temperature right. "Don't forget to shave your legs," she reminds me. "I did that this morning," I call back. "Do it again," she stresses, "and make sure you're groomed and everything." Groomed? What the fuck? I stick my head out of the curtain. "Have you seen something?" I ask. "I _can't_…remember?" she scoffs. "Then what's the big deal?" I ask. "Because you want confidence tonight," Alice explains, "you want to feel your best. Trust me Leah."

I do as she suggests, even "trimming the hedges" a little just in case she has some low cut panties for me. Of course she does…black ones. She also has me a black skirt with a matching blouse. "I like it," I admit to Alice, "casual but sophisticated." She beams at me. I'm not use to a push-up bra…but after seeing what it does, I definitely want a few more. The blouse buttons up in the front. Alice gives me a once over, then unbuttons the top two buttons for me. It shows just enough cleavage. The skirt is about two inches above my knees and makes my legs look _very_ nice. She then throws me a wink and we work on my hair.

"Let's keep it straight and down," Alice suggest, "Girls with black hair like yours look best with it like that." I shrug. "That's fine with me," I reply, "I hate braiding it." "Take a scrunchie though," she suggest, "in case you want to put it up." "Ok," I agree. I put a black one around my left wrist and my black cord around my ankle. I carry it just in case I have to phase…don't leave home without it and all. Alice has my hair combed and dried in a matter of minutes. "Now for the make-up," she says.

This is where Alice is at her best. I agree to the mascara and the smoky eye liner but balk at the light pink lipstick. I finally relent and am so glad I did. Alice has me looking like a million bucks. She does my nails the same color. A pair of low black heels finishes me off. "Perfect if I do say so myself," Alice gushes. I examine myself in the mirror. I look…sort of hot. Gone is the reservation girl from seven years ago with the ratty shorts, tank top, and butch haircut. I look amazing! Surprising myself, I give Alice a tight hug. "Thank you," I whisper. "Think nothing of it Leah," Alice replies, "it's what I do…and do well I might add. Now go get him!"

Alice and I go downstairs to find Renesmee and Julian talking about eating deer instead of drinking them. "Wow sis," Seth says from the kitchen doorway. Julian looks up at me. He's wearing expensive jeans and a black button up shirt with a gray t-shirt underneath. He's gawking at me…not that I'm not gawking at him. I _so_ owe Alice for this one. He stands up and walks towards me. "I wish I'd had time to get flowers," he whispers. I give him a soft smile. "Do you need my Porsche?" Alice asks. "Since it's raining?" Julian shakes his head. "I unhooked my truck," he replies, "it's gassed up and ready." Alice nods and smiles.

"You guys be careful," Seth calls. "Don't worry Seth," Julian says with a straight face, "if you're sister's not in bed by two…I'll bring her home." I give him a mock scowl and a playful swat on his arm. Everyone laughs and Julian ducks his head sheepishly. I'm glad Seth realized that was a joke…if it was. Sometimes I'm not sure myself. He then turns to me. "You ready?' he asks. I nod and take his arm. "Bye guys!" Alice calls as we walk out the door.

His truck is a black Chevrolet four-wheel drive extended cab. It's obviously well taken care of and looks almost new. Julian opens the door for me. "M'lady," he says offering me his hand. I smile and take it. It's a small step up for me but I manage without problem. The interior is leather and very clean. "Not bad," I compliment. He grins and gets behind the wheel. "Thank you," he replies.

I see a CD case jammed between the seat and the center console. "May I?" I ask. He nods as he starts the truck. I begin flipping through. No country…no hip-hop…no R&B. All rock albums spanning the sixties up until present day. "Jefferson Airplane?" I question. "The Doors? The _Stones_?" Julian shrugs. "It's what was popular when I was in," he explains, "so it's kind of what I'm into." I continue to flip. "The Eagles," I recite, "the Beatles…Queen…Aerosmith…Led Zeppelin." I smile at him. "Not bad," I compliment. "Seriously?" he asks, surprise evident. "You can't go wrong with the classics," I reply.

I look at his CD player. "What's in there right now?" I ask. "_Cosmo Factory_," he replies. "Huh?" I ask. He sighs. "CCR," he explains as he turns it on. "Travelin' Band" comes out of the speakers. "Listen to this flying over the Mekong Delta?" I ask. "Once or twice," he admits. I smile at that. I decide to quiz him a little deeper. "So else did you like?" I ask. "Big Brother and The Holding Company," he replies. "I've never heard of them," I admit. "Sure you have," he replies, "Janis Joplin was their lead singer." "Really?" I ask. He nods. "What about the seventies?" I ask. He shrugs. "Disco kind of killed the seventies," he explains, "Van Halen was ok…and AC/DC. Kiss was ok I guess. The Sex Pistols had a couple of decent songs."

"What about the eighties?" I ask. He laughs. "Hair bands," he grins. I laugh with him. "Really?" I ask. He nods. "Rock didn't get hard enough for my taste until the late eighties," he admits, "I liked the nineties much better." "Me too," I admit. He grins. "Where are we going to eat?" he asks. "You're paying," I shrug. "And you're picking," he says back. "I…don't know," I admit.

"I don't know where anything is," he continues, "so you're navigating this little adventure." "Italian?" I ask. "I could go for Italian," he confesses. "Good," I say with a grin, "we'll grab Italian." He grins and nods right along with me. "Well since we've got that settled," he continues, "what about the movie?" I ponder. "I don't know what's playing," I admit. He snorts. "Me either," he confesses. "What do you like?" I ask. "Anything but a chick flick," he replies. "Agreed," I comment.

Just like yesterday, our conversation is nice an easy…almost too easy. It's like we fit together. I find myself leaning on the console towards him. His life…obviously…has been so much different than mine has and I love hearing about it. Our laughter is as easy as our conversation. There's no first date jitters like you would expect. The forty-five minute drive to Port Angeles seems to fly by.

I point him to La Bella Italia and he parks. I take his arm as we walk in. Damn, he smells nice. He opens the door for me and we walk up to the hostess. It's a little early for dinner and the restaurant isn't very crowded. "Two please," Julian says softly. The hostess is obviously dazzled as she leads us to a secluded booth. I give Julian the seat where he can see the door.

We both order water and scan over the menus. "You pick the appetizer," he offers. I nod and look over the section. "You clean up nice Clearwater," he comments. I blush and move my hair out of my face. "Thank you," I say softly. He grins. "Alice pick out that outfit?" he asks. I nod and lean closer. I motion for him to move in and he does. "We don't wear a lot of clothes," I explain, "in case we have to phase. We phase in our clothes, they're destroyed…just like you saw this morning." I stretch my leg and prop my foot on his seat. "See that cord around my ankle?" I ask. He glances down and nods. "We tie our clothes there before we phase," I explain, "at least if we're _planning_ to phase. The boys usually just carry shorts. I have to carry a tank top too…for obvious reasons."

He puts his hand on my foot and gives it a gentle squeeze. I could purr at this moment. "Still feeling better?" he asks. I nod absently. "Seriously?" he asks. "Seriously," I reply, "though asking about it doesn't help." He shrugs. "I have to Leah," he explains, "I saved your life. That means I'm responsible for it." I snort. "No one is responsible for me," I reply, "and I didn't ask you out to discuss my problems. I wanted us to have some fun tonight."

Julian nods thoughtfully. "So I guess I don't get to hear this secret you're suppose to be keeping," he comments. I shrug. "Like you told Renesmee," I reply, "when I'm ready." He nods as the waiter brings us some breadsticks. He asks for our appetizer and salad order and I give it to him. Julian has gone quiet. "I could get it from you," he comments. "Yeah right," I snort. His eyes raise up to meet mine. "I haven't revealed my gift to anyone," he says softly.

Wait…gift? "You have a power?" I ask. He nods. "A weak form of mind control," he replies, "or a stronger form of vampire allure…however you want to look at it. I've been curious as to if it works on you or the pack." He ponders. "I could always try it." "Please don't," I beg. He chuckles. "I'm not," he promises, "it was just a good way to tell you one of _my_ secrets." I give him a small smile. "Promise?" I ask. He nods. "I want you to trust me Leah," he says softly.

We each get a breadstick. "Why is that?" I ask. He shrugs. "I…don't know," he admits, "my instincts just tell me to trust you and that you should trust me." He takes another bite. "How does your gift work?" I ask. "From what I can tell," he explains, "its like hypnosis. Meaning I couldn't make someone do anything they wouldn't normally do." I nod absently. "I don't even have to say it aloud," he continues, "just think it. Want to see?"

I swallow hard. "Trust me Leah," he promises. I take a deep breath and give him the go ahead nod. His eyes lock on mine. His eyes change, but I can't tell what exactly happens because instantly my foot…the one I put on his seat to show him the cord around my ankle and had already put back on the ground…moves back up there. "That's…freaky," I admit. He laughs. It has its moment," he confesses. "Especially if I want to know something about someone. I think it…and if they don't do it…I know they wouldn't. It's like a built-in lie detector."

Well, that's a surprise. My imprint has a gift…and a pretty damn useful one at that. "How strong is it?" I ask. "Well I've never tried to get someone to murder anyone," he replies, "I've stopped someone from pulling a trigger before. Stopping a vampire from feeding…not possible. I practice it occasionally hoping I can make it stronger, but I haven't since I got to Forks. I've been keeping it in reserve…keeping it from Edward." "Like you said," I comment, "we all have our secrets."

We eat our salads and split the fried ravioli. "Decide what type of movie you're in the mood for?" he asks. "Not really," I reply, "can we just get a drink or something? I'd rather just talk to you." He shrugs. "I'm game for whatever," he says. I grin. I wonder if he's game for _anything_. "You know a place?" he asks. I shrug. "I'm sure we can find somewhere," I reply. He nods and pops another ravioli in his mouth. "When do you need to hunt again?" I ask. He shrugs. "Next week sometime," he replies, "I can go a while on human food…but it doesn't completely satisfy. I still need blood. Human food only curbs the craving."

The waiter…some pimply kid with blond hair…comes and takes our order. Julian orders veal parmesan and I have the lasagna. The waiter spends most of the time checking out my legs and I have to force myself not to growl at him. Julian is smirking the entire time. "Really funny," I grumble once our orders are taken. He covers his mouth and snickers quietly. "Sorry," he says after a minute, "I guess you're not use to that." I shake my head. "I need to take you out more then," he says with a wink, "_get _you use to it." Here I go…blushing again.

"So what would it take to get you to tell me?" Julian asks. I shrug. "Nothing?" he asks. "No," I whisper. He backs off. "I have to admit you've got me curious Leah," he says softly. I let my head drop and don't respond. He sighs and leans back against the vinyl bench. "What if I confessed something?" he asks. I don't move my head up. He blows out a breath. "Seriously," he continues, "what if I gave away _my_ deepest, darkest secret?"

I look up at him. "I bet I could guess," I say. He grins. "Doubtful," he replies. "Let me try," I challenge. He makes a motion with his hand as if to tell me I have the floor. "You have a child?" I ask. He snorts. "No," he replies. I ponder for a moment. "You committed war crimes?" I ask. Again he shakes his head. "Done drugs?" I ask. He snorts again. "Yeah," he admits, "smoked a little grass in the Navy…but that's far from my deepest, darkest secret." I roll the question over in my mind for a second. "You cried when Old Yellar died?" I ask. He laughs. "Not even close," he admits.

I huff in irritation. "You had sex in a church?" I ask. "Yeah," he replies, "but again…not my worst secret." Wow…at least I'm learning some stuff. "I hope you don't guess it," he admits. "Why not?" I ask. "Because it's that bad," he replies. I shrug. "You know my worst secret," I admit, "you saw me try to kill myself." "Yeah," he admits, "but this is worse." "I know about your mom," I reply, "what can be worse than that?" He takes a deep breath. "I've drank human blood."

Ok, I've got a problem.

On one hand Julian is a human feeding vampire. Even with our truce with the Cullen's it's open season on "leeches". It is my duty to protect my pack, my tribe, and humans in general from these. It's what we're built for…to kill vampires.

On the other hand…he's my imprint. He is the man the magic of my people has destined specifically for me. He saved my life. He's sitting in a restaurant with me on a date. I feel warm and safe in his presence. He is the one for me. I'm so nervous I'm beginning to feel sick. The bile is beginning to rise from my throat and I have to put my fork down.

"Is that what your dad taught you?" I ask. Julian shakes his head. "I hunted animals the first ten years of my existence," he replies, "I killed mom…I didn't want to be responsible for any more humans." "Yet you did," I comment firmly. He nods. "I had to," he replies, "to survive." His face tells me he's obviously ashamed to confess this. "I…don't understand," I admit.

Julian nods at something over my shoulder. I turn and look at the TV set on the news. They're showing some civil war in a desert country. I can't tell where…the sound is turned off. "Look at the scenery," he whispers. I watch and try to pick up what he's getting at. It's depressing…but war isn't supposed to be cheery looking. "See that uprooted trees," he whispers, "the bomb craters? The massive amounts of troops? The heavy trucks and tanks driving by?" I nod absently. "Not the best place to find deer," he explains.

I turn back to look at him. "Yeah…I'd prefer to hunt animals," he says softly, "but they usually haul ass when bombs start dropping." He drops his head. "When I needed to hunt, I'd wait till it was my turn to pull guard duty and just slip away. I'd find an enemy platoon bedded down for the night and pick off the sentry. It was our mission to kill them anyway Leah." He sighs. "I've been 'clean'…for lack of a better term…since I left Saigon. I don't know what that means as far as your pack goes…but that's my dark secret."

I make my decision in an instant. There's really no other choice for me. "It doesn't matter," I say quickly, "I know Edward and Jasper have fed on humans. I know Carlisle's changed people, so he's tasted human blood. Rosalie and Bella are probably the only ones with spotless records." Julian nods. "So you've been back on the diet since '75?" I ask. Julian nods. "What about the temptation?" I ask. "Non-existent," he replies, "too much guilt to even attempt it." I nod. "Then you have nothing to worry about," I promise.

Our dinner arrives and we eat in silence. I feel better now. Sure, I'd rather he be like Renesmee and have a clean record but he hasn't exactly had her upbringing. Of course…if you want to get technical…Renesmee's had human blood too. They fed it to her in her bottle when she was a baby. Regardless, he's my imprint. "I wouldn't worry too much about it," I tell him, "if you're not actively hunting humans now no one will mess with you." Julian nods. "But my confession won't get a confession out of you?" he asks. "How about I make you a deal," I reply, "I _will_ tell you…just not now." "Not much of a deal," he grumbles. "That's it though," I reply, "take it or leave it." He shrugs. "I'll take what I can get," he says finally.

So Julian isn't a saint? Neither am I. I never expected him to be. All I have to do is look into those blue eyes and nothing else matters. Like I said yesterday, the fact he's flawed only makes me love him more. Just like me he's risen above all the shit life has thrown at him. He had my respect even before confessing this.

He confessed this to me. That tells me he feels the imprint. That tells me he feels strongly about me. That gives me a boost of confidence. I'm not quite ready to tell him…but I'm getting there.

"We're suppose to forget the serious shit," I tell him, "this is a date…remember?" Julian smiles. "Alright," he replies, "we'll find us somewhere we can consume copious amounts of alcohol and I can whisper sweet nothings in you ear." I grin back at him. That voice makes my thighs tingle. "As long as you stay in control enough to drive," I agree, "you can do that all night long." "Deal," he says with a smirk.

We finish our meal and Julian pays the check. His tip is probably more that the punk checking out my legs was worth. I take his arm again and let him escort me to the truck. "Not much night life here," I mumble. He shrugs. "We'll find something," he replies. I nod in agreement. I honestly don't care where we go as long as I'm with him.


	8. Chapter 8

(A/N Ok, this one will be longer than usual but I had to get this out. First, thank you to the long list of you that reviewed. Reviews are the fuel that drive any author on this site...so once again thank you ! Second, this story is rated 'M'. It'll be pretty obvious if you check out the musical choice...but I believe in warning the reader in case it's not something they're into. Third, I thought of something. Stephanie Meyer always said if she wrote again from the _Twilight_ universe it would be from the P.O.V. or either Renesmee Cullen or Leah Clearwater. I wonder if we could start a letter-writing campaign to get Julian as Leah's 'for real' imprint? Sure Mrs. Meyer would have to eliminate the suicidal themes, drug references, sex, violence, and bad language but it would be awesome if she became a member of Team Sandwater.)

**I don't own Twilight. I only own Julian. So technically I own half of team Sandwater.**

CHAPTER 8-LEAH'S P.O.V.

_If you can just get your mind together,  
then come on across to me.  
We'll hold hands and then we'll watch,  
the sun rise from the bottom of the sea.  
But first…_

Are you experienced?  
Ah have you ever been experienced?  
Well I have…

"Are You Experienced"

Jimi Hendrix

Something turns out to be a dimly lit bar with a _lot_ of Harley's parked in front of it. There was a sign…green neon…telling us the place is called "One Eyed Pete's". I guess someone likes their Johnson so much they named a bar after it. Music is coming from the slightly open door…Deep Purple I think. "You sure about this?" I ask. Julian grins. "You meet more interesting people in places like this," he replies. I'm not so sure but Julian looks completely at ease. I'm a little overdressed for this small, dimly lit establishment. Definitely a local hangout…not somewhere a tourist would go to try to get laid. "Trust me Leah," he says, his grin still their, "I won't let anything happen to you." Well, we didn't see anything else…

No one pays us any attention as we walk inside. The music is coming from an old jukebox on the far wall. The bar is long and not very crowded. Several people in leather and denim are sitting at tables near the jukebox. I see an opening that leads to another room with pool tables and a few arcade games. It's quiet in here but it's also early. There's the usual display of neon signs around the place advertising different beers…all of them American brands I notice. I'm guessing no one here drinks Heineken.

Julian steps up to the bar next to an old white guy wearing dirty jeans and a leather vest. He's bald with a bushy beard that makes it look like he's wearing his hair upside down. Julian gives him a polite nod, which is returned. Julian looks down and looks at the stranger's tattoo on his arm. "Marine?" Julian asks. "Korea," the old man growls. Julian unbuttons his black shirt and opens it slightly to show "U.S.M.C." in black letters on his gray t-shirt. "Semper Fi," the old man growls out. "Semper Fi," Julian says back. "Where you serve?" the man asks. "Third Recon," Julian replies, "got out about a year ago."

I know Julian's only telling part of the truth. He couldn't tell this guy he was in Vietnam…the guy wouldn't believe it. Julian just looks too young. I also know why Julian's talking to him. Even though he's younger looking and better dressed than the old guy, they're both kindred spirits. Like any other soldier…they gravitate towards their kind. That's why VFW's all over the country does such good business and you always see veteran's reunions advertised in the paper.

"Do boot at Paris Island I'm guessing," the old man comments. "San Diego," Julian corrects. The old man stiffens at that for some reason. "I thought you were a Marine…not a squid," the stranger snaps. "Corpsman," Julian explains, "attached to Recon." The old man nods thoughtfully at that. I notice his posture also relaxes. "Let me buy you and your lady friend a beer then," he says with a smile, "had a squid Doc save my ass back in '51." Julian smiles. "Sure," he agrees.

The old man…who introduces himself as 'Dirty'…signals the bartender and orders us three longnecks Budweiser's. Julian also orders us each a shot of Jack Daniels. The old man gives both Julian and I a once over. "You ride?" Dirty asks. "'05 Harley," Julian replies. Dirty nods in approval. "You patched?" he asks. Julian shakes his head. "Nomad," he explains. Dirty shrugs but doesn't reply. "Cheers," he says as he picks up the shot and chases it with beer.

Julian and I do the same and I have to fight not to wince. I haven't drank since before I legally could. Julian drinks it like its water. "She your old lady?" Dirty asks. "She's auditioning for the job," Julian says with a grin. I keep my smile polite. Dirty gives me another long look. "Keep her," he comments, "she's a looker." "I might do that," Julian agrees. I move in closer to Julian. I'm not afraid of Dirty but I don't want anyone getting the idea I'm available. "Again?" Julian asks, pointing to the empty shot glasses. Dirty shakes his head. "I gotta ride before I get rained out," he says as he raises up off the stool. They grasp forearms. "Keep your powder dry," Dirty tells him. "Same," Julian replies.

Julian tells the bartender to keep the drinks coming and we move to a back table. "Ok," I ask, "'Semper Fi'?" "Marine Corps motto," he replies, "short for 'Semper Fidelis'. Its Latin…means 'always faithful'." "So the rivalry you hear about the Navy and the Marines is overblown?" I ask. Julian takes a pull off his beer and shakes his head. "Doesn't apply to the Doc's," he explains, "Marines respect corpsman…especially the ones attached to Marine units. Pointless to be an asshole to the guy that will be the one patching you up if you get shot." "Ah," I reply with a nod.

"So I'm auditioning?" I ask in a teasing voice. Julian takes another pull off his beer and shrugs. "Well I wasn't going to lie," he explain, "and I know I'm out the door the moment your imprint shows up. But at the same time I didn't want Dirty…or anyone else…thinking you were fair game. So I told him you were with me." "No worries Julian," I say with more seriousness, "and you're right…I'm your date tonight."

"What did he mean about you being patched?" I ask, changing the subject. "He was asking if I belonged to a motorcycle club," he explains, "a 'nomad' means I don't have a fixed address…hence no club membership." That makes sense. "That cause you any problems?" I ask. "Not usually," he replies, "though I had a problem once in Oakland." "What happened?" I ask.

Julian takes another sip. "I walked into a bar and got to talking to three Hell's Angels just like I did there with Dirty," he explains, "everything was cool until they asked where I was from. It's hard to hide my accent, so I told them the truth. The problem is north Florida is Outlaw territory. So they assumed even though I wasn't wearing their colors I was an Outlaw. I tried to leave…they came at me in the parking lot…I had to kick their ass." "You beat three guys?" I ask. "Three _humans_," Julian corrects, "it's not like they could've hurt me Leah."

I take another sip. "That happen a lot?" I ask. "Next to never," he admits, "usually I'm a people person." I snicker at that. The waitress…a peroxide blonde old enough to be my mom…sets us up with more shots. I want to growl as she makes eyes at Julian. He ignores her. "I can order you something else if you want," Julian says as he picks up his shot. I shrug. "I don't drink much," I reply. "In the military it's beer and either bourbon or some type of blended whiskey…Scotch, Irish…stuff like that," Julian says as he sets down his shot glass. "Ask for a Fuzzy Navel and you're looking at getting your ass kicked."

I laugh. "Anything you've ever wanted to try?" he asks. "Yeah," I admit, "a Jagerbomb." Julian signals the waitress. "Lady wants Jagerbombs," Julian calls to her. She grins back. "How many Sugar?" she asks. "Start us off with two each," he replies. She nods and goes back to the bar.

I drink my two and one of Julian's. "I'll stick to what I got," he tells me as he orders me a couple of more. I'm already feeling giddy. "Can we shoot some pool?" I ask. "Sure," he agrees. He goes up to get change and I polish off another. Julian comes back with change and both of us a fresh beer. "You need to slow down a little," he tells me, "the night's still young." I roll my eyes. "I'm serious Leah," he whispers in my ear, "I don't want you throwing up in the parking lot." His warm breath in my ear is making me tingle in my panties. "I'll be good," I whisper back huskily, "for now."

Julian grins and begins racking. "You want to go first?" he asks. I shrug. It's been a long time since I've done this too but thanks to the ability nature was nice enough to give me I don't embarrass myself. I'm bouncing with excitement as I get one in on the break. I miss my next shot and gawk in amazement as Julian runs the table. He winks at me and racks up for the next game. "Holy shit," I gawk. "That's why I let you go first," he says with a wink.

"How'd you do that?" I ask. "Practice," he replies, "I learned in the Navy. You should see me play poker." I laugh…a little louder than I probably should. The alcohol has loosened me up a bit. Julian steps closer to me. He leans in and inhales deeply. His scent is intoxicating and I realize he's getting a hit of mine. "You and I should go out again," he whispers. "We should," I reply with a confidence I didn't know I had, "and we will…if you're up to it." Julian grins and steps back. "I look forward to it Miss Clearwater."

He leans over the table to break and I get a nice view of his rear. Damn, damn, damn! It's all I can do not to reach over and run my hands over it. Julian raises up and turns to me. Even in the dim light he looks good enough to eat. I think he's noticed me looking but it doesn't seem to bother him. Do I want to? Yeah…I do. Could I? I _think_ so. It's been a long time but I'm sure we could figure it out. Does _he_ want it? That's the question.

Well, it maybe just the liquor talking…but I'm going to try. I work subtly through all five games. I make a point to lean over where he can see down my shirt. I let my tongue run over my lips when we make eye contact. I lean into him whenever we're close. I bat my eyes and wiggle my ass and do all the things I use to talk shit about other girls doing. It seems to be working. Julian's smile never leaves his face. I order another drink. This is tough. I haven't tried to get a man to notice me in years.

I finally decide to just go for it. Julian is in front of me making his shot. He sinks the twelve ball in the side pocket and turns around. I'm on him instantly. His scent envelops me and the faint peppermint taste is stronger from his mouth. I ease my tongue hesitantly into his mouth and wrap my arms around his neck. It's not perfect. I'm so tense right now I'm afraid I'm going to crack. _Please Julian_, I think, _don't deny me_.

Julian tenses as our mouths connect. He remains tense as my tongue caresses his. However he seems to melt as my arms go around his neck. He taste like peppermint with a faint hint of bourbon and the cigarette he smoked after our second game. He puts his hands on my waist and I'm swooning. He pushes me against the pool table and crushes his body against mine. He's hard through his jeans and I want to start cheering. I let my nails gently scrape against the back of his head and he shivers. A grin forms on my mouth. _Now_ it's perfect.

He breaks the kiss off abruptly and I can see the worry in his eyes. I jump in before he can say anything. "Don't Julian," I whisper into his ear. "Don't start being noble right now. This is what I want. I want to feel normal for a change. You're doing that. I haven't wanted anyone since Sam. Please…let's get out of here." He swallows hard and nods. "If you're sure…" he begins. "I've never been more sure," I whisper, running my nails over the nape of his neck. "Let's get out of here," I repeat.

Julian goes into the bar to pay the check and I make a quick trip to the bathroom. Hair…check. Make-up…check. Breath…I need gum. Shit. Glad I shaved in the shower. It looks like I owe Alice yet again. Now I'm getting nervous and the alcohol isn't helping. _Breathe Leah_, I think, _he's your imprint. He wants to be with you. All you have to do is go get him_.

I leave the bathroom to find Julian smoking and polishing off his beer. He has his leather motorcycle jacket draped over his arm. "Here," he says, opening it up for me, "It's raining." I slide my arms into it. It's heavy and the leather smells like him. I could sleep in nothing _but_ this jacket. My stomach is in knots as I feel myself moistening. Yeah…we're going to do this.

Julian takes me to the truck and opens the door for me. He's strangely quiet. I hear the Rolling Stones playing lightly in the background. "Where are we going?" he asks. "Good question," I reply, "I guess your place." He nods thoughtfully. I hope he's not having second thoughts. I take his free hand and rest it in my lap. "You don't want to?" I ask. "I don't want you hating yourself…or me…in the morning," he replies firmly.

I unbuckle my seat belt. "I want you," I purr in his ear as I move closer to him. He steps harder on the gas as I nibble his earlobe. "I want you," he whispers back. I let my hand run up his thigh till I find his erection. I don't have to go far. Holy shit! He is _not_ a small man.

My only other experience…Sam…I got before he began phasing. In plain English: I got a human. Now I've seen Sam since then…nudity is an uncomfortable part of being a shape shifter…and he's grown all over. I felt a little cheated to be honest with you. Size doesn't always matter…but it does help. I got the "before" Sam…not the "after" Sam.

Even "after" Sam doesn't have anything on Julian.

Seriously…I'm both giddy with excitement and a little intimidated at the same time. My heart is beating faster as I give him a gentle squeeze. I continue to lavish kisses on him as I purr in his ear. My brain is fuzzy with alcohol and desire. My throat has gone dry. I can feel him throbbing under my hand and I have no idea how I'm going to hold off until we get home or what I'm going to do once we get there.

I feel his arm move around my waist and his hand slipping up my bare thigh and I continue to pant in his ear. "Sympathy for the Devil" is playing in the background. Not what I would call romantic or mood setting…but I could care less right now. He begins lightly running his hand up my thigh and I slide my legs a little further apart to give him access. He stops when he reaches the lacy edge of my panties. I feel the pad of his fingers skim the lace as if testing to see if this is what I want.

I move my hand off his crotch and to his hand in my lap. I push his forward so that he can feel the warmth radiating from my core. His nostrils flare as I press his hand against me. He can feel the dampness and smell my arousal…which is what I want. I want him to know I _want_ him. He applies gentle pressure and I move my hand to yank my panties to the side. Julian's eyes never stray from the road but they do widen as he now feels me without the silk barrier between his hand and my folds. "Yes," I purr as the ridge of his hand parts them.

Julian obviously either knows what he's doing or has a pretty damn good idea. I feel a finger slide up inside me and curl to caress my g-spot while his thumb begins running slow circles around my clit. "God yes," I hiss in his ear as my hand begins running inside his button-up against his t-shirt. His chest is warm and muscular. His heart is running as fast as mine though his outward appearance would make you think he was paying attention to nothing but the road.

I groan as my stomach muscles begin tightening up. I haven't felt this in a long time and it feels _wonderful_. "Please," I gasp, "don't stop." He responds by pressing harder. I whimper as his thumb nail brushes the underside of my clit. That's all it takes. My breath catches in my throat and my cry sounds weak and breathless. My whole body convulses and I bury my head against his shoulder as waves of pleasure overwhelm my system. He slows down his pace as I ride the wave, not stopping but not pushing me enough to hinder my recovery. The feeling of his finger touching my fluttering inner muscles only makes me anxious for something else to be there.

He slows as we pull up on the Cullen's driveway. Shit I hope Seth isn't waiting up on me. I look at the clock to see it's nearly eleven. No wonder I'm so buzzed. We were drinking for almost four hours. Julian pulls up into the yard and moves his hand out from under my skirt. I miss his warmth already. There's a light drizzle falling and every light in the Cullen's house is out. I wonder if Alice did that. I'm going to have to make a list of how many times I owe her. I adjust my panties and we both step out of the truck.

I sniff the air as soon as I'm outside. I don't smell any fresh scents. Good…no pack to give Julian any shit about this. I don't care what they say to me…just don't mess with my imprint. I take a deep breath and meet him around the front of the truck. We find each other's arms and kiss once again. It's less controlled…more primal and frenzied than in the bar. I could do this all night…if I didn't know what else was going to happen. "Let's go inside," I beg, "please?" "Yes," he replies in a soft voice, "lets."

Julian takes my hand and leads me inside. The trailer is clean and sparse as a monk's quarters. There's also candles already lit in the room. We look at each other as we both pick up a faint scent. "Alice," we say at the same time before we both laugh. Then it's quiet for a moment. "Leah…" he begins. "Shut up and kiss me," I whisper.

We meet like two storms colliding over the open ocean. Our kiss is frenzied and _hot_. I crush my body to him and push him against the wall of the trailer. Our mouths devour each other as he slides his jacket off my shoulders. The heavy jacket seems loud as it hits the floor.

I move my hands around to the front and begin fumbling with his belt. Julian grabs my shirt and with one swift tug pops off every button so that my bra and stomach is exposed. I get his shirt untucked and pull it and his t-shirt over his head. Our mouths break apart just long enough to for me to pull both his shirts over his head and I take in a harsh breath.

His shoulders are broad and muscular. His chest…warm and covered with just a little hair…looks like it was carved out of stone. His stomach is flat. I don't get to examine anymore because he's back on me. I step out of my shoes and he yanks my skirt down with a single tug. I think he broke the zipper but I don't care.

Julian spins us around and pushes me towards the bed without breaking contact. Well…cot is a better word for it. I'm not complaining. It's not like I was expecting a king-sized waterbed. He pushed me gently so that I'm sitting on the cot and he's kneeling in front of me. His mouth moves from my mouth to my neck. I feel his teeth graze my jugular and I shudder. "You're safe," he whispers as he trails butterfly kisses up towards my ear. I let my nails slide down his chest and I hear his breathing pick up.

I purr as I feel his hands rest gently on my hips. Julian then pulls them forward and tugs at my panties. I lift my hips slightly to help him. He guides my upper body back so that I can lean against the wall. He begins trailing kisses from the inside of my knee up my inner thigh. I'll let him but this isn't something I'm all that fond of. I've already cum once. Wouldn't he think that was gross? Besides, Sam and I had tried this and it wasn't all that fun.

Obviously Sam just didn't have a fucking clue what he was doing. Julian lowers his head, parts my folds with his tongue, twirls it around inside of me, and I'm gasping. I look through my lashes as I feel his tongue work its way up the inside of me towards my clit. My hands go to his head and I moan. Julian begins bathing my nub with his tongue. One of my hands releases his head and moves around my back to unclasp my bra.

Once free I let my thumb graze my nipple as I moan again. I've never felt comfortable with that part of my body. Watching Sam hesitantly when he did that didn't help matters. Julian…his nose buried in my pubis…is literally _worshiping_ me with his tongue. "God," I pant, "please…don't stop." I feel his tongue swirl around my clit and my thighs begin to quiver. I pinch my nipple as I feel his hands go to work. I feel Julian part me with one and slide a finger inside me with the other. Just like in the truck he curls his finger and gently brushes my g-spot.

I'm hissing, "Yes, yes, _yes_," as his finger begins to work slowly in and out of me. Julian begins to work faster, his lips and teeth massaging my bundle of nerves. The feeling is like nothing I expected. "God Julian," I pant, "yes." He catches my clit with his lips and begins to suck furiously on the bundle of nerves. That's it. The orgasm is so strong I cry out and my vision blurs around the edges. My hips buck upwards involuntarily and the hand on his head pulls him closer to me. He continues to caress my fluttering inner muscles until I finally ease up my grip on his head.

This isn't me. This isn't the Leah Clearwater that had to be as tough as the rest of the boys in the pack. You could have chopped off one of my legs last week and I wouldn't have even whimpered much less cried out. Yet here I am…nearly naked and on my back…letting my weakness show. A man has made me submit and I'm ok. Better than ok…I _want_ it. "Take me Julian," I whisper weakly. I wanted to say it with more firmness…more demand. I wanted to say it like a declaration…not a feeble request.

Julian raises up and his pants drop to his ankles. I don't know when or how he removed his boots…or care. I take the time to shed my blouse and bra before his mouth attacks mine. I growl as I taste myself on his lips. It turns me on. I have no idea why…but it does. I have to fight to keep from licking his face clean. My legs lift up to wrap around his waist as he enters me with a slow, fluid stroke.

_Holy shit!_

First he's warm. That doesn't surprise me. What does is just _how_ warm he feels. He's even warmer than the inside of me. I've already said he was big…I just didn't say how big. I swear I feel him in my stomach. I'm crying out the moment he's fully inside of me. Not only his he long…he's thick. So thick in fact, I feel stretched. I have to think about relaxing to take him in and not contracting so that I can feel him better. I feel warm…I feel full…and I _love_ it.

Julian takes his time with me. His movements are fluid and sure. His eyes are locked on mine. "What do you want Julian?" I pant. "I want to see that cute face you make when you cum again," he pants back. I make a face? "Then bring it to me," I challenge.

He picks up his pace and I cry out with each stroke. I intended to put something on Julian and here he is doing it to me. Damn this man can move! "Yes," I hiss as I pull my legs up higher, "yes Julian!" He leans in further, which changes the angle of his thrust. The head of his cock bumps my g-spot and my already over-sensitive nerves go haywire. I cry out again…just like in the truck…as I'm rocked by yet another climax. My nails dig into his back but he doesn't slow. "God YES," I scream as I pull him forward to kiss him again.

I growl as he picks up his pace again. Is this man trying to kill me? If so…what a way to go! Julian breaks off the kiss and gasp for air. "I love the way you move," I pant. He grins. "I'm not through yet," he replies. I must admit…the confidence is sexy. I bite my bottom lip as he picks up his pace yet again. I'm going to be sore when this is over. It's a small price to pay.

Julian raises up slightly and I squeeze my legs tighter against him. "Close baby," he hisses. I grin savagely. "Bring it to me," I challenge again. He reaches up to brace himself against the wall I'm leaned against. I hike my legs up higher so they're wrapped around his back below his shoulder blades. I'm flushed and literally on top of the world. For some reason…I don't know why…I want to feel him cum inside of me. I want him to make me his.

I gasp in shock as Julian puts a hand on my throat. It's not tight…hell it doesn't even constrict my ability to breathe…but I wasn't expecting it. I don't move it though. He's surprised me so far…let's see what he's got up his sleeve. His hand is cupped so that his thumb and fingers are on each side of my neck and under my jaw. My throat is resting in the 'V' of his hand. Like I said…I'm breathing just fine.

I don't even realize what's happening until it's too late. Julian squeezes just a touch and my vision begins to cloud. He's slowed the blood flow to my brain without constricting my windpipe. Air hisses through his teeth as I feel him twitch inside of me. He gives one more hard thrust and explodes inside of me.

_Holy shit!_

Nothing I've ever done with Sam…or by myself…has prepared me for this. The sensation of him cumming inside of me…_deep_ inside of me…combine with the haze Julian has my brain in is almost an out of body experience. I register my back arching…and my sight going blurry…but nothing else except the plunge as _the_ hardest orgasm of my life hits me. It's like a train hitting me…only pleasurable instead of painful. All I can do is squeeze my legs tighter against him and hold on as I ride the wave to its end. My whole body shudders violently as he pushes me over that edge.

This is the sex that most people only dream about. This is fantasy material and I just had it. I'm tired, sweaty, and sore but if he said, "let's go again" I'd be right there with him. Julian is panting over me. I see the muscles in his arm holding himself up fluttering. He looks ready to collapse. I can't have that so I pull him down on top of me and kiss him with everything I have left. "You're amazing Leah," he pants.

Just when I thought it couldn't be any better…Julian makes it better. _He_ thinks _I'm_ amazing? I wince as he withdraws from me. I feel emptier and colder there and I already miss him. "It ain't much," he say softly, "but you're more than welcome to stay with me." I like that. It means it look like more than a one-night stand. I immediately turn my body so that I'm lying on my side with my back against the wall. The cool metal feels good to my overheated skin. Julian pulls a sheet over our bodies and lays flat on his back. I snuggle up next to him. "Still ok?' he asks. "Very," I purr. I feel Julian kiss the top of my head and stroke my hair gently. As my eyes begin to droop, I realize I haven't felt this much peace since I first phased.


	9. Chapter 9

(A/N Thank you all for your continued reviews. And now the moment we've all been waiting for...)

**I don't own Twilight. I only hope Mrs. Myer is watching from somewhere thinking "Team Sandwater...it could work!".**

CHAPTER 9-LEAH'S P.O.V.

_Yeah, I know nobody knows  
where it comes and where it goes.  
I know it's everybody's sin  
you got to lose to know how to win. _

_  
_"Dream On"

Aerosmith

I wake up sprawled across the cot still naked with one hell of a hangover. My head is pounding and my mouth feels like steel wool. Julian's gone. I stretch and roll over…hoping he just stepped out and will come back. The strong smell of vampire changes my mind. "Time to get up Clearwater," Alice says cheerily, "we're going to Seattle today." I groan and pull the pillow over my head. It smells like Julian and I immediately relax. "Where is he?" I ask. "Inside with the rest of those that eat," Alice explains, "I came out to bring you clothes."

I wish I had woken up before he did. Not that I'm ashamed to have spent the night with him and would've snuck out but because I wanted to hold him as he slept. I wanted to watch him in a peaceful state of slumber. I wanted to hold him to my bare chest, run my fingers through that tuft of hair on the top of his head, and continue the feeling of peace I had since right before I fell asleep.

Instead I rise up to a sitting position. It's dark in here. "Figured you wouldn't appreciate me throwing the blinds on you," Alice says softly. I pull the sheet around my body. "What's been said?" I ask. "Nothing," Alice chirps, "they're too intimidated to ask Julian. Though Emmett hasn't been around yet…" She lets it drop. "I volunteered to come get you," she goes on, "I even went upstairs like you were in your room and jumped out the window so everyone would think you spent the night alone."

She takes a deep breath. "I talked to Jude when he came in," she says softly, "discretely of course. He's not going to react in front of everyone by the way. He didn't want you getting any grief from your pack, so he's going to wait to see how you want to play it. You should've discussed it last night…but judging from the condition of your clothes I'd say there wasn't time."

"Um," I reply, "yeah." Alice giggles. "I brought sleepwear," she explains, "so it will look like you spent the night alone. I'll dress you and we'll go shopping after breakfast." I open my mouth to refuse but Alice cuts me off. "You _need_ clothes," she warns, "and you did ask for my help…remember?" I sigh in defeat. "Clothes are here," she says as she taps the foot of the cot, "come on…we've got things to do." She then rises and prances out of the trailer.

I finally crawl out from under the sheet, knocking the clothes Alice brought me off, and find my underclothes. Now we have to do the awkward morning after thing. Alice has me a pair of yoga pants. No shirt? There it is…on the floor. I slide it on and do my best to finger comb my hair. Yummy…it smells like Julian. I didn't smell it on my pants, but they didn't get that close to my nose. Whatever. My hair is a lost cause without a brush or comb. Oh well, I'm supposed to look like I just crawled out of bed anyway. I peek out of the trailer door. No one's around. I scoot to the house and into the front door. No one is in the living room. So far…so good.

My confidence boosted I walk into the kitchen like it's any other day. Everyone is sitting in the same places they were yesterday morning. The chatter is light. Julian is wearing a pair of jeans, a brown Led Zeppelin t-shirt, and his black motorcycle boots. I could jump his bones right here. Instead I move over to towards the empty chair between Julian and Seth. I get exactly to my chair when the chatter stops.

Other than looking up, Julian doesn't react to me entering…but he's the only one. Quil and Embry are both smirking. Seth is giving me a winning smile. Renesmee is blushing. Jacob is scowling just like yesterday morning. "Get lucky Leah?" Embry asks, breaking the silence. I cross my arms across my chest. "You don't have to say anything," Quil continues, "just take your walk of shame like a big girl." "Nothing happened," I snap. If Julian's bothered by my lie, he doesn't react to it. "Then why are you wearing Julian's shirt to breakfast?" Jacob snaps back.

Everyone except me and my imprint burst out laughing as I look down at the t-shirt Alice brought me…and realize I must have grabbed the wrong one in the dark. I'm standing here wearing black yoga pants and a gray t-shirt...

…With 'U.S.M.C.' stamped across my chest in black letters.

Oh shit! I grabbed the shirt Julian was wearing last night instead of the one Alice brought me. I'm am seriously busted. There's _no_ way I can play it off this is my shirt. Quil and Embry are snickering like a couple of kids. Renesmee's biting her lower lip and staring at her plate. Jacob looks smug. The smile hasn't left Seth's face. Julian hasn't reacted at all.

Well, the cat's out of the bag. I take a deep breath to steady my resolve and park myself right in Julian's lap. I have an imprint and I had sex with him last night. They'll just have to deal with it. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss the side of his head. "Morning," I whisper tenderly. I'm so afraid he's going to brush me off right now I'm holding my breath. Julian puts his cup down and wraps his arms around my waist. "Morning," he whispers back. Once I'm in his lap and he speaks everything seems all right. I pull him tighter against my chest and sigh happily.

There's no awkwardness like I had feared. I'm as comfortable next to him now as I was yesterday and last night. "Sleep well?" Julian asks. "Very," I admit. Quil and Embry snicker again. Julian looks over at Jake. "Think you can ask your pack to get off Leah's back?" he asks. Jacob gives them both his best menacing glare. It works…they shut up immediately. "Good morning Leah," Nessie says sweetly as Seth fills my coffee cup. "Morning," I reply as I reach for my coffee.

"So we're going to Seattle today," she comments. "Yeah," I remark dryly. It's not her…it's the fact we're going shopping. She seems to be trying to change her ways. Renesmee smiles. "It'll be fun," she says, "maybe Jude would like to join us?" I turn and look at him. He seems to be mulling it over. "Shopping with three women," he comments to himself, "I don't know if I could handle that." I give him a mock scowl and he winks back. "Maybe we shouldn't shop the entire time," Renesmee suggests, "I mean maybe we could see some sights or something." "Maybe we could add something for the evening," I add, "get Nessie a fake ID and go club hopping maybe?"

Renesmee's eyes light up at that while the corners of Jake's mouth turn down. Alice comes prancing into the room right now. "That's a _great_ idea Leah," she gushes. "Edward and Bella going to go for that?" Julian asks. "Probably not," Alice admits, "but we can work on it." Jake doesn't look convinced. Honestly…neither does Julian. "I'm thinking," Alice mumbles as she sits down next to Embry. "Anyone got any suggestions?"

"What's wrong with the truth?" Quil asks. All heads turn to him. "Tell them she wants to go out," he explains, "and we'll be keep an eye on her. Edward and Bella want her to have human experiences…let's ask them for one." Julian nods against my chest. "It's crazy enough to work," he comments. "Edward's going to throw a shit fit," Jake says harshly. "He's a Dad," I reply, "he's _supposed_ to." "Just like Dad would've if you'd have walked in here wearing Jude's shirt this morning," Seth pipes up.

I let my head drop so that my hair covers my face. Seth's right…Dad would've blown a fucking gasket if he knew. I'd rather take the ass chewing if it means he'd be here…but he's not. "Wait…wait," Seth chimes in, "that didn't come out right." Julian…sensing my discomfort…pulls me tighter against him. I'm immediately calm. "I just remember how much shit he gave you about…your ex." Obviously he means Sam. "Anyway," Seth continues, "that's what I meant…not that he would disapprove of Jude here. He'd love Jude seeing that he's your…" He freezes in mid sentence.

Obviously Seth has a bad case of "I can't keep my fucking foot out of my mouth" this morning. "I'm her what?" Julian pipes up. "Boyfriend?" Seth finishes. Dumbass can't even help but make it sound like a question. Julian leans back in his chair and glares at Seth. He picked up the lie…not that it took any talent. "Let me guess," Julian says dryly, "pack business?" "Something like that," Jake adds. I'm keeping my mouth shut. Seth has ducked his head and is blushing furiously. I pull Julian tighter against me. He's frozen underneath me and doesn't respond.

Jake and I make eye contact. I don't have to be a genius to know what his look says. _You need to tell him_. He's right. I need to tell Julian. He's my imprint. He is the man I'm destined for. He's the man I _want_…body and soul. I don't have a choice. I don't _want_ a choice.

The biggest complaint among the non-imprinted…and I use to fall into this category…is the lack of a choice. Nature says this is your match and that's that. Being what I am…a person that loved someone enough to get engaged _and_ now someone with an imprint…I understand that it's the similar. Just like Julian, I couldn't _help_ but fall for Sam. That's what true love is like…with or without the imprint. Was Sam my true love? I don't know. Feeling what I feel now for Julian I doubt it. My point is true love and imprinting is the same in one respect. Once you fall in love…you're there whether you planned it or not or want to be or not.

I'm doing it…today. Screw shopping…screw girls day out. I don't care about getting fancy clothes or sexy lingerie. I want Julian and I'm going to do something about it. I'm going to do something I haven't done since Sam. I'm going to just throw myself out there for him. I'm going to tell him the truth…declare my love for him…and let the chips fall where they may. I'm going to do something I haven't done since the first time I phased. I'm going to trust the magic.

I put my hand under Julian's chin and lift his head so that we can make eye contact. "If I can't trust you I can't trust anyone," I whisper, " Sometime today…I'll tell you." Julian gives me a curious look. "You don't have to," he replies. "Yeah…I do," I say firmly. "You sure about that?" he asks. I nibble my bottom lip. "You remember how sure I was about last night?" I ask. He nods slowly. "I'm even _more_ sure about this," I declare. He exhales a huge breath. "Alright," he agrees, "if you're in the mood to talk, I'm in the mood to listen."

I lean forward and peck him gently on the lips. He's more hesitant this time. Before the kiss can build I notice it's gotten really quiet at this table. I turn to see everyone is staring at us. Alice and Renesmee are beaming. Jake and Seth look happy as well. Quil and Embry look kind of sick. I lock eyes with Embry. "Sorry," he says as he ducks his head, "I'm not used to seeing you…happy." I can't help myself…I throw him a wink. The old Leah would've bitten his damn head off. This isn't the old Leah.

Edward and Bella come strolling in about this time. Edward gives Julian a funny look. "We're going out tonight," Alice chirps, "and we want Jake and Nessie to come with." Of course Edward immediately frowns. "What will you be doing?" Bella asks. "We were going to make a day out of it," Alice replies, "go to Seattle…have lunch…shop…then do some club hopping this evening."

Edward's frown turns into a scowl. Bella…to my surprise…seems to be considering it. "Who's going?" Bella asks. "So far me, Leah, Julian, Nessie, and Jake," Alice chirps, "though I'm sure Jasper would be agreeable too." "I want to go," Seth chimes in. "Me too," Embry adds. "Enough to keep Nessie safe," I add. Edward hasn't said a word.

Edward and Alice have begun staring at each other. That means he's reading something in her mind. "Renesmee," Edward says, "you are not to be along tonight in public. If you go to the bathroom…you go with Alice or Leah." I snort at that. I didn't know a hybrid needed to use the bathroom. Hell, Julian drank enough booze last night to float a battleship and he didn't go once. Renesmee only shrugs. "I think she'll be fine," Bella chimes in, "and we've been telling her she needs to get out. I think seven bodyguards is more than enough."

Alice bounces up. "Eat Leah," she orders, "we need to get ready." "How are we handling transportation?" Jacob asks. "Take the Volvo," Edward offers. "I can drive too," Julian offers. That's a good idea. I'm fairly confident this will go ok…telling him about the imprint…but if not I don't want him stuck. "Jake, Nessie, Embry, and Seth can take the Volvo," Alice says, "Jasper and I will take my Porsche. Jude and Leah can take his truck." I begin stuffing my face without moving off Julian's lap. I know Alice isn't going to give me long.

I was right. "Come on Leah," Alice begs, "we've got shopping to do." Julian gives my waist a gentle squeeze and I huff and get up. I yelp as he slaps me right on my ass. Everyone…including Jake and Edward…laugh. I give him another mock scowl, which has no effect whatsoever. I follow Alice and Nessie up the stairs. "Jazz," Alice calls, "any chance you can chaperone with me today?" Jasper grins. "Anything for you Alice," I hear him call up the stairs.

"There was a solid gray t-shirt on the bed this morning Leah," Alice says as soon as we're in her room, "you didn't have to wear Jude's." Nessie begins giggling again. "Although," she goes on, "it did make a statement." I look down and Julian's Marine Corps t-shirt. "Real subtle wasn't it?" I ask dryly. Alice joins Nessie in the giggling.

"So how was it?" Alice asks. Shit, there goes the blushing again. "That good huh?" she presses. "No comment," I reply softly. "You don't have to comment," Nessie pipes up, "I could hear you at the cottage." Oh shit! "You're lying," I say through gritted teeth. "Yes, yes, _yes_," Nessie teases…and she does a spot on impression. Shit I sounded like Meg Ryan in _When Harry Met Sally_…and I wasn't even faking. I scowl at both of them who are now laughing their asses off.

"Ok it was good," I snap, "better than good…it was _amazing_. That man had me _whimpering_ ladies. That man downstairs put something on me I didn't think was possible…and I _loved_ it." I take a deep breath. "After all that I've been through I think I deserved what happened last night…even that was the only time."

"We just wondered how it was," Nessie says quickly while Alice says, "It will happen again Leah." I don't respond to either. "I'm going to tell him today," I whisper. Both women are nodding at me encouragingly. "You should," Nessie comments. "I'm going to," I reply, "I don't know how…but I am." "Just tell him Leah," Alice encourages, "he feels the imprint. Trust me, it'll be fine."

* * *

The "wagon train" of mythical creatures leaves out about an hour later. Alice…of course…has us girls dressed to kill. How she talked me into wearing a leather mini skirt I'll never know. Ok…I know how. She told me I would look good in it and I was more than happy to put it on. Julian seemed to like it. She also put me in a blue baby doll t-shirt. If I get cold…unlikely…or I need to look like I'm cold, I'll just wear Julian's jacket again. That thought makes me smile.

"House of the Rising Sun" by the Animals is playing in the background as we follow behind the Volvo. "It's a long way to Seattle," I say aloud, "you up to talking?" Julian cracks the window and fishes out a cigarette. "Sure," he replies, "what's on your mind?" "I need to tell you the big secret," I reply. "No you don't," he replies, flicking his lighter shut. "I think I do," I reply.

"Leah," he says softly before I can begin my explanation, "I think we're getting too close." My jaw drops. "I hate to say that," he admits, "but it's true. I like you Leah…I like you a whole lot. The problem is, I don't know how this will work between us."

I swallow harshly. "What do you mean?" I ask softly. Julian exhales a lung full of smoke. "I don't know how long you're going to be available," he admits, "if we were just hanging out…or even just sleeping together it wouldn't be that big a deal. The problem is I want more Leah. You're simply amazing. I've been wandering this world for over six decades and I've never met anyone like you. I can't get any more attached…" "Why can't you?" I interrupt. Julian exhales harshly. "Because you and I could go on for a long time," he replies, "centuries even. There's only one problem Leah. Sooner or later your imprint is going to show up…and I'll be alone again. It's better I end this now before I get any more attached."

I actually breathe a sigh of relief. _That's_ his issue? "My imprint has already shown up," I say softly. Julian tosses his cigarette butt out the window. "He has?" he asks. "Yep," I reply, popping the 'p' just like Jake does. "Oh," Julian says softly. Silence for several minutes. "Well?" I ask. "Well what?" he asks back. "Aren't you going to ask who it is?" I ask. He shrugs. "It's not like I'd know them," he replies. "Honestly, I figured if you have an imprint now, it's someone too young for you to date and I'm a distraction until they grow up. But that's a guess."

I bite my bottom lip and we're silent again. "Did I tell you what happens to a wolf when they imprint?" I ask. "Do I want to know?" he asks back. "I think you do," I answer softly. Julian shrugs. His eyes are hurt and I want to get this over. "When we make eye contact with that person," I explain, "you're mind goes crazy. Sam explained it as like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. Jake says it's like gravity moving." I pause for a moment. "They're both right. Now…that's what's going on _inside_ your head. Outside your head…" I pause.

"Outside your head?" Julian asks. I nod. "Outside your head," I say quickly, "your eyes get real wide…your jaw drops…and you stand there looking like an idiot. Seriously, you stand there like a complete dumbass just gawking at them." Julian's grip tightens on the steering wheel. "When I came down the steps after I woke up to thank you for saving me…I had that look on my face," I continue, "and inside of my head…gravity moved." "_I'm_ your imprint?" Julian asks. His shock is evident. I nod solemnly. "Me?" Julian asks. "But I'm a hybrid."

"So is Nessie," I point out. Julian takes in a deep breath. "You're right," he admits. There's silence for several moments as he processes this. "So what does this mean?" Julian asks. "It means I'm yours," I reply, "my job is to be whatever my imprint needs. I'll be your friend…protector…fuck buddy…whatever." Julian nods but doesn't respond. "What does it mean for me though?" he asks.

"I…don't know," I admit, "for obvious reasons I've never really spent any time with the imprints." Julian nods thoughtfully. "How do _you_ want this to play out?" he asks. "I don't care," I reply, "I just want to be near you." Julian's mouth tightens. "You don't have a choice?" he asks. "No one has a choice when it comes to who they love," I reply, "imprint or no imprint."

"You…love me?" Julian asks. I bite my lip and nod. "Since I saw you," I reply. "And you're…ok with that?" he asks. "I'm _more_ than ok with that," I reply, "Julian…I know you might not believe this…but every hurt I had you healed. My heartbreak over Sam…gone. My disgust with being a wolf…gone. My fear I can't have kids…gone. Even wanting to kill myself…it's all gone." I reach over and take his hand. "Julian," I say, tears beginning to well up in my eyes, "You are now my reason to live. Right or wrong…I love you."

Julian exhales again and fishes out another cigarette. Obviously he doesn't have to worry about hiding his scent so I'm guessing he's nervous. "That day in the woods," he says thoughtfully, "I was just coming back from a hunt and was running back to get my bike." He pauses to take a drag. "That clearing wasn't even on my way back," he continues, "but I had this…feeling…I needed to go that direction. There was this…pull…in my chest…telling me to go that way. That's how I found you." He puffs furiously. "Is that part of the magic?"

"It is," I reply, "whenever we're apart I feel this need to be near you. If we're not physically touching…I feel the need to be closer. It wouldn't surprise me to hear that imprinting works like that both ways." "Aren't you afraid of me…being a hybrid?" he asks. "Especially the venomous part?" "No," I admit, "if anything I'm happy you're my equal. All of the other guys…except Jake…have human imprints," I reply. Julian nods again. "So we're suppose to get married…have babies…and live happily ever after?" he asks. "I don't know what we're suppose to do," I admit, "other than I'm suppose to do it with you."

"Not fair, is it?" he says through another cloud of smoke. "What's not?" I ask. "You having to submit to this," he replies. "I'm no more submitting than any other girl that falls in love," I reply. Julian snorts. "I'm _serious_," I growl, "whether you believe this or not Julian you're perfect for me. I don't like vampires…you're not one. I'm a mythical creature…so are you. Everything I could dream of wanting in a man…or an imprint…you are. Julian…this isn't the imprint talking. You are _perfect_."

Julian snorts again and throws his cigarette out the window. "Jake thinks Nessie's perfect," he points out. "This is different," I retort, "and I can't believe I'm about to admit this…but I am. I was thinking while I was in the car waiting to die what I would've wanted in an imprint…sort of wallowing over things I'd never have. _Everything_ I wanted…and I was pretty specific…you are. I didn't want a Quileute…you're not. I wanted taller than me with a nice body…you got it. I wanted anything but dark hair and eyes…you're red with blue eyes. I wanted a warrior…you are. I wanted a scholar…you are. I wanted a _man_ and not a boy…you damn sure have _that_ covered. Julian, you're _everything_ I want."

"But your _imprint_?" Julian asks. "Wild…I know," I reply, "I never thought it would happen." Julian doesn't reply. "Are you ok?" I ask. "It's a lot to take in," he says softly. I nod in agreement. We ride in silence for several miles. "I'm literally clueless as to how to proceed," he admits. "We don't have to _proceed_," I reply, "I just want to be near you. Let's just do that."

"Is it that easy?" Julian asks. "I honestly don't care if it is or not," I reply, "but I know I want to be with you. We'll _make_ it work Julian." "You're mighty confident," he comments. "I have to be," I reply, "I made up my mind when I decided to tell you I was going to trust the magic." Julian doesn't respond. "You're planning on leaving?" I ask.

"Eventually," Julian admits. I nod thoughtfully. "Then I want to go with you," I reply softly. Julian sighs. "What about your family?" he asks. "And your pack?" "I have to be with you Julian," I reply firmly, "besides…like I told you yesterday…we can't stay here forever. I'm going to have to leave sooner or later before my lack of aging is noticed…we all are. I'd rather it be with you." "So you're going to follow me regardless?" Julian asks. I nod and wipe my eyes. "So we're both backed into a corner," he comments.

"I'm not," I say as firmly as I can manage. Julian snorts. "My life has started looking up," I explain, "you've made everything all right." "That's…one hell of an responsibility," he comments. "You did…and continue to do it simply by existing," I explain. Julian nods. "Ok," he admits, "I'm a little overwhelmed right now Leah." I lift up the center armrest and move closer to him. "Let's just be together," I whisper, "just enjoy each other. We'll take any issues as they come." Julian sighs and moves his free arm to wrap it around me. I snuggle up against him. As usual, his warmth and his scent comforts me.

"I…need you to do some things," Julian says after a short gap in silence. "Done," I reply. He snorts. "You don't even know what I want," he points out. "I can't deny you Julian," I explain, "so if you want it…I'll do it." "What if I wanted a blowjob right now?" he asks. "Whip it out," I say quickly. He chuckles. "What if I want to talk to some other imprints?" he asks. "Why?" I ask. Julian shrugs. "I want to see what it's like from someone who's been there," he explains.

I'm really wishing he would've been serious about the blowjob. Not because I'm itching to do it…which I am…but because I can't just take him to an imprint. There are three adult imprints: Emily, Rachel, and Kim. None of these three are members of the Leah Clearwater Fan Club. Well, that's not exactly fair. I wasn't fans of them simply because they were something I could never be. Now though…

"I've burned my bridges with the imprints of Sam's pack," I reply, "and they're the only adult imprints." Julian frowns at that. "I have to eat a lot of crow," I go on, "not because of you…but because of how I've acted in the past." I sigh. Julian drops a hand off the steering wheel and rests it on my bare thigh. "You'll have to meet Mom too," I add. Julian grins at that. "Well I would hope so," he comments. "You ok with that?" I ask. "It depends," he replies, "are you going to tell her _everything_?"

Oh. I didn't think about that. "Should I?" I ask. "One of your problems…at least from where I'm sitting…is you never let anyone in Leah," he replies. "If you're going to apologize to the other imprints and mend your fences there, you should go ahead and do that with your mom. If you're going to start fresh…don't do it half assed." I nod against his shoulder. He does have a point.

"Ok," I concede, "but you'll have to meet mom first. She'll be pissed if the other pack meets you before she does." "Agreed," Julian says, "the last thing I want is my future mother-in-law pissed off at me." I snort. I can see Seattle in the distance. I snuggle up closer to Julian and yawn. "I'll wake you when we get there," he whispers. I nod and close my eyes letting him warmth, his scent, and "Let it Be" by the Beatles lull me into a peaceful slumber.


	10. Chapter 10

(A/N Sorry about the delay folks. Hope you like this one.)

**I don't own Twilight. I only own Julian...1/2 of Team Sandwater.**

CHAPTER 10-LEAH'S P.O.V.

_Didn't I make you feel like you were the only man -yeah!  
Didn't I give you nearly everything that a woman possibly can?  
Honey, you know I did!  
And each time I tell myself that I, well I think I've had enough,  
But I'm gonna show you, baby, that a woman can be tough. _

"Piece Of My Heart"

Big Brother and the Holding Company

Even with Alice making me try on clothes the day was turning out to be fun. Julian hung out with Seth when I was trying on outfits. They did a little bit of shopping too. Julian didn't have many clothes. I guess it's hard to carry around a lot in that small trailer he's been living in. I really think he needs…and wants…roots somewhere.

Julian and I slip away to grab something from the food court. "What's up with Starbucks?" he asks as I steal his fries. "They have good, high-priced coffee," I explain. He snorts. "It's _coffee_," he grumbles. "Yeah," I reply, "but it's _good_ coffee." "I guess I just don't get it," he sighs. "I'm not surprised," I tease, "being an old man and all." Julian raises an eyebrow at me. "Old?" he asks, "you're the one that fell asleep first last night. I was readying for an encore."

I blush at that. "I've been meaning to ask you," I say softly, "what's up with the whole 'hand on my throat' thing?" Julian takes a sip of his soda and shrugs. "Just a little trick I picked up," he explains, "I'm guessing it worked." My blush deepens. "Yeah," I admit, panting. He grins. "I don't go for the whole S&M thing," he comments, "for obvious reasons I don't go for pain. It doesn't mean my bag of tricks is empty." "You got more?" I ask, shocked.

Julian's grin drops. "Yeah," he replies. He's uncomfortable all of a sudden. I don't say anything. Truth is, I don't know what to say. Good? That's an understatement…excellent is probably a better word. "I didn't know I was supposed to be waiting for you Leah," he says softly. "Oh," I say surprised. "Julian I don't care. Other girls might…but not me. I get it. Trust me, I've done a lot worse than gotten laid a few times." He still doesn't say anything.

I reach over and take his hand. "Look Julian," I say softly, "you have to deal with my past. It's no problem. We're in this together. I'm ready to deal with any problem you have. I don't care if it's Maria…Vietnam flashback…guilt over your mom…or the fact you're more experienced than me. Make sure you hear me loud and clear. I. Don't. Care."

He's still not looking my direction. "Sam was my only experience," I admit. Julian turns to look back at me. "As funny as that sounds," I go on, "you were an eye opening experience for me." "What do you mean?" he asks. "Neither Sam nor I were…well versed in the act," I go on. Julian motions with his hand for me to continue. "It's…kind of embarrassing," I admit.

Julian doesn't speak. "When you…went down on me…last night," I say hesitantly, "I wasn't expecting to…enjoy it…that much." "Why not?" he asks. His face is clearly puzzled. "Because when Sam had," I explain, "it just wasn't that enjoyable. Most women have a hang-up about that part of their body anyway and he…just didn't get into it. We were both young and inexperienced and it's painfully obvious now." "There's nothing wrong with…that part of your body," Julian says firmly. "Regardless," I go on, "before it was good for just foreplay. But I didn't expect it to be so…intense." I shiver involuntarily. "It's good you know what you're doing," I finish, "because I don't."

He chuckles slightly. "Seriously," I go on, "I'm looking forward to getting an education." "You make me sound like a man-whore," Julian grumbles. "You're over forty years older than I am," I point out, "I'm hoping you're going to be the one to teach me a lot about life…in and out of the bedroom." He sighs. "Alright," he agrees, "I think I can do that." I smile as he relaxes.

"You ever had a three some?" I ask. _That_ got a blush out of him. "Oh my God," I stammer, "you have!" "Once or twice," he admits. "Julian…you bad, bad boy," I tease. He shifts uncomfortably. "So I'm guessing you've gotten head while driving?" I ask. "Um," he stammers, "yeah." I gawk. "Who was the best?" I ask. His eyes lock on me. "You," he says.

Ok, I want to blow that reply off…but I can't. The way he's looking at me tells me he's dead serious. "You're kidding?" is the only reply I can come up with. "Nope," he admits, "you factor in everything…body, the way you move, my ability to read you…" "You can read me?" I gawk. Julian leans back and crosses his arms over his chest. "Can't you read me?" he asks.

"Yeah," I admit, "I've picked up on some things." Julian nods. "I pay attention," he comments, "like when you sat on my lap this morning. You were tense." "I was nervous," I explain, "I didn't know how we were going to do the whole morning after thing." Julian shrugs. "I'm beginning to think there's nothing we can't do," he replies, "I mean I've admitted to being ex military…human blood drinker…and had more than one three-some. Yet you haven't run away yet."

"I'm not going to," I continue, "I'm getting so much more. No shit Julian, I got the most amazing imprint in Quileute history." "Even with the bad stuff?" Julian asks. I can't help but smile at that. Usually he sounds much older than he looks…right then he sounded like a little kid. "Bad stuff?" I tease, "Julian, stop sounding so guilty. Both are past are just that…the past. We're moving forward." Julian squeezes my hand and nods. "Alright Leah," he whispers, "we're both moving on."

We dump our trays and I take his arm. Julian is the perfect height for me…tall enough the top of my head rests under his chin if I'm standing in front of him. I like that. We see Seth, Embry, and Jasper in the arcade and wave as we pass. He gets a few looks from women, but I never even see him look anywhere but straight ahead.

We step outside…around the corner in a side alley…so he can smoke. "I think you like them," I complain as I point at his cigarette. "I do…sometimes," he admits, "not often though. Back in Asia I could go through two packs a day." "You should quit," I comment. "Yeah," he admits as he lights up, "maybe Maria will magically decide to get off my ass and I will." I step forward and wrap my arms around his waist. I press my head to his chest and smile as the sound of his heartbeat reaches my ears. "What's your Mom going to think about me?" he asks.

"My mom is going to _love_ you," I reply, "imprint or not. You're good looking…smart…charming…and funny. The fact you're my imprint is just the icing on the cake." "What about the soldier part?" he asks. "Vietnam wasn't a popular war." "My granddad was there," I explain, "so was Jake's and Quil's granddad. Trust me…that's not an issue." "And the motorcycle?" he asks. "We're immortal," I point out, "it's not the deathtrap for us like it is for her." Julian nods thoughtfully. "She'll think it's cool you were a medic," I point out, "and you've been to medical school…how many times?" "Two," he replies, "I've done ER and OB/GYN as my specialty." "See," I point out, "she's going to love you."

"I've never had someone want me to meet their mom," Julian admits. "Good," I say firmly, "_that_ means more to me than anything." He grins and kisses the top of my head. "Seth ok with this?" he asks. "Seth is _thrilled_," I reply quickly, "he thinks you're 'awesome'." Julian grins. "Cute kid," he mumbles. I roll my eyes as Julian drops his cigarette butt.

Julian looks down at me at the same time I look up. Those deep blue eyes have me swooning and I lean in to kiss him. He smiles and leans forward to kiss me too. Our lips brush and I feel Julian's body lock.

Before I can blink Julian spins me around, turns, and drops into a crouch in front of me. I look around. I don't see anyone…but I smell them. Vampire. "Jude…Jude…" a voice calls mockingly from the shadow. "Go Leah," Julian whispers to me. "Like hell," I whisper back. Adreniline pours into my system and I shake in preparation to phase. "We need back-up," he whispers fiercely, too low for human ears, "and a large wolf might draw attention here." I huff. "Go," he hisses.

I begin to hesitantly back up. I don't want to leave him but I have to both save him and protect our secrets. He's right. A vampire on vampire fight is much quieter. "Good," the voice calls, "she _stinks_." "What do you want Christine?" Julian snarls. "Maria has a rather large bounty on you Baby," she coos as I continue to back up, "alive you're worth a small fortune…and no one knows you're here but me." I get to the end of the alley and turn to run.

I get to the side door of the mall and run into Nessie and Alice. "Leah!" Alice squeals, " I found the cutest shoes to go with the purple dress..." "Vampire," I choke out, "outside…after Julian."

Nessie and Alice both snatch out their cell phones and begin whispering in earnest. Exactly three seconds later I feel wind rush past me and see a blur too fast for a human eye to follow carrying the scent of vampire…Jasper. My pack comes up about five seconds later. "Let's go," I order.

We rush out the door as fast as possible with all the witnesses around and I lead them to the side alley. Julian is sitting against the wall holding his stomach. Jasper has a fire started behind a nearby Dumpster. I rush to Julian's side. Embry is watching the mouth of the alley for witnesses. "You ok?" I ask. "Yeah," he whispers, "I had to attack. If she got away she would've called Maria and this state would be crawling with vampires." "Jude had her handled," Jasper says from behind me, "not bad for a half-breed." "Hybrid," I snap, "half-breed is a derogatory term."

"Hybrid then," Jasper corrects. He sighs. I think he feels my emotions…which are going haywire. I feel a calming sensation wash over me and I cut my eyes to him. I give him a polite nod and turn my attention back to Julian.

"Seriously," I say softly, "you ok?" Julian winces and nods. "She broke a couple of my ribs," he confesses. I feel my bottom lip quivering. "I let you get hurt," I whisper sadly. "You didn't _let_ me do anything," Julian hisses, "you couldn't phase here…too many witnesses. You did what was best…you got Jasper who could attack without giving our secret away. You did good Leah." I don't really feel all that better but my lip stops quivering. "Can I get you anything?" I ask. "Yeah," he replies, "blood."

I hear every one of my pack inhale sharply. "I won't heal near as fast if I don't hunt," he says softly. "Will mine work?" I ask. "Bad idea," Jake and Jasper say at the same time. "I can bite without producing venom," Julian says, "I've done it before…though I'd rather not bite you." I move my hair to the side, exposing my neck. "Well you're in luck," I tell him, "because I heal fast." "Leah, you're nuts!" Jake exclaims.

I turn around and glare at him. "Jasper can take me to hunt," Julian says, "no point hurting you." "Julian it's ok," I whisper, "I don't mind helping you." "Won't you drain her?" Embry asks. Julian shakes his head. "Even at my thirstiest I have control," he replies, "if she'll give me enough to heal my ribs I can hunt till I'm full." "What do you think Alice?" Seth asks.

Now _that_ says a lot. Both Jake and Embry look dead set against this. Jasper doesn't look all that happy about it either. Yet Seth _knows_ I have to help my imprint. He knows I would do anything for Julian. He understands the depth of my emotion more than anyone does. Any of the other wolves would…and are…cringing away at having a vampire bite one of them. Seth is willing to let me help my imprint.

"No matter how far I look," Alice replies, "I don't see going to Leah's funeral." "I can't watch," Embry says, walking away. "Can you Jude?" Jasper asks. "I mean…no offense Leah…but the thought of drinking blood that smells like yours…" He shudders. "She doesn't smell bad to me," Julian replies. "Then do it," I whisper.

Julian spreads his legs and I kneel between them. Our chests are pressed together. I put a hand on the back of his head and pull him gently towards me. Air hisses from between clenched teeth as his body comes forward. "When I said I needed blood," he hisses, "I didn't mean yours." "It's ok," I whisper, "it's my fault you're hurt. Please…let me help you."

I feel Julian's nose nuzzle my neck before his lips part. His teeth graze my jugular and I force myself not to shudder. Instead I pull him closer to me. "Go ahead," I whisper. He inhales deeply, my scent bringing out a growl. It doesn't frighten me. I know he wouldn't hurt me.

I gasp as I feel his teeth sink through the skin on my neck. I bite my bottom lip and pull him closer. The pain is sharp and quick…like plucking an eyebrow or getting a shot at the doctor's office. I grip him tightly as I feel him drinking from me. The feeling is…erotic. Seriously, my nipples are hard against his chest and my panties are wet. I hear him purr and I gently stroke his head…purring myself. The skin in his mouth is throbbing but it's not bad. In fact the pain is…sublime. I'm so turned out right now I'm thinking about jumping him right here in this alley. Seriously, just hiking up my skirt and mounting him right here with his mouth clamped down on my neck…witnesses be damned.

Julian's mouth releases my neck and I feel his tongue slide over the wound. It stops the bleeding immediately. I feel a little weak, but otherwise fine. Well…the emptiness like I had last night after Julian withdrew from me is there. "You ok Leah?" Nessie asks. I nod slowly. I look up at Julian. He's stopped hugging himself and now has his arms around me. "I'm sorry," he whispers. "I'm not," I whisper back, "we'll discuss it later." He gives me a funny look. "Trust me," I whisper as softly as I can manage, "you don't want to have this discussion now."

Jake roughly yanks me to my feet. I'm a little wobbly. "Leah," he growls, "don't fucking do that again." I roll my eyes. "I'm fine Jake," I grumble, "just a little woozy. I'll be fine before Julian finishes his hunt." Julian gracefully rises to his feet. "I'm sorry," he says again. I yank myself free from Jake's grasp and wrap my arms around his neck. "Hurry back to me," I whisper. Julian nods slowly. "Let's go," Jasper orders.

Jasper takes Julian's arm and leads him away. Julian keeps looking at me with a sad look until they're out of sight. "Next time you're in wolf form I'm going to give you an alpha order not to do that," Jake grumbles. "I thought it was sweet," Nessie pipes up. Everyone turns and looks at her like she's crazy. "You wouldn't let me drink from you if I was injured?" she asks. Jake opens his mouth to say something, but quickly closes it.

He huffs. "It's not the same," Jake says. "It's _exactly_ the same," Nessie replies, "he was hurt…she wanted to help him…everything's ok." "You're not venomous Nessie," Jake snaps, "he is." "No venom," I cut in, "other than his teeth breaking the skin it didn't hurt at all. Alice, you got a mirror?" Alice digs in her purse and hands me a small mirror. I check my neck. "See," I point out, "it's healing just fine." Seth examines the wound with clinical curiosity. "It looks fine," he agrees.

"Now," I say trying to turn the conversation, "I need a milkshake. Alice…Nessie…shall we?" Nessie nods eagerly. I figured she's be all for not only a milkshake but also getting some more girl time. I turn to see Seth covering up the remnants of the fire. "We'll meet for dinner when the boys get back," Alice calls. I turn to walk with Nessie and stumble. Whoa…head rush. Alice catches me before I can fall. "Still woozy," I explain. "Come on," Alice says eagerly, "I'm buying.

With a vampire on one arm and a hybrid on the other we walk back towards the food court. "Are you _really_ ok?" Nessie asks. "Surprisingly," I reply, "yeah. Hell, I'd do it again." Nessie looks a little shocked. "Didn't it hurt?" Nessie asks. "A little," I admit, "not bad though." We step up to the counter and I order a strawberry milkshake. Nessie gets one too. Alice doesn't…but she does pay.

We take our seats and I sip slowly. Much better. "I'm impressed Leah," Alice comments, "that took more guts than even I have." I shrug nonchalantly. "Seriously," she goes on, "you risked you life to help him." "He wouldn't have killed me," I reply. "You can't know that," Nessie says. "I made up my mind to trust the magic," I reply, "so I'm trusting it."

We're quiet for a few minutes. "It's…weird," I comment, "at least I _think_ it's weird. I mean…is enjoying it when someone bites you weird?" Renesmee is gawking at me. "You…enjoyed it?" she asks. Did I say that out loud? Oh shit! "Hell yeah it's weird," Nessie goes on, "I mean…unless you're like a sicko or something…that's weird." I let me head drop. Ok…I knew I was weird. Maybe if I drop it this too shall pass.

"You're not weird Leah," Alice assures me, "at least I don't _think_ you're weird. However, maybe you are. I mean you _are_ a shape shifter. A vampire is your mortal enemy. Therefore you _shouldn't_ have liked it…but you did. Then again, he _is_ your imprint." Alice shrugs. "No, you're not weird," she assures me, "maybe a little _kinky_…but not weird." I scoff at Alice. Nessie starts giggling again.

Alice just rolls her eyes. "Seriously," she continues, "some humans bite each other. Vampires not so much…venom leaves scars." She ponders for a moment. "Maybe some of the myths about it being a sensuous act are true." "I'm wishing I had kept my mouth shut," I grumble. "Now, now," Alice says cheerfully, "this is actually interesting. I mean, not only _can_ he bite you…but you _like_ it." Alice leans back and taps her finger with her chin…her "deep in thought" pose. "Ok," she continues, "to sum it up…no you're not weird…he's your imprint. It makes sense that if he _could_ drink your blood that you would not only be ok with it but also want him to. If you're ok with it and he's ok with it…do it. And talk to Carlisle…just in case."

Nessie and I polish off our milkshakes and toss the cups. "Not a word to Jake," I warn her. "My lips are sealed," she promises. "_We_ mean it Ness," Alice warns, "you want to be one of the girls…you have to act like one of the girls. That means you keep secrets." Nessie nods solemnly. "How's it look?" I ask. Alice examines it carefully. "It's just a bruise now," she replies, "looks more like a hickey than anything. You could cover it with your hair if you wanted." I do just that. "Look ok?" I ask. "Looks fine," Nessie promises.

We find the rest of the pack back at the arcade. Jake and Embry are looking at me like I'm a freak…which isn't anything new. Seth's acting like he doesn't have a care in the world. He finishes shooting zombies and comes over to stand beside me. "You ok?" he asks. "Fine Seth," I reply, "seriously…it doesn't hurt at all." He nods thoughtfully.

"That was pretty cool of you Leah," he comments. "I'm glad you think so," I grumble, eyeing Embry and Jake who are racing each other at a different game. "It was," Seth presses, "it tells me something." "That I'm nuts?" I ask. "That he's your imprint and you would do anything for him…just like you _should_ do for your imprint," Seth replies. "Jake can give you all the shit he wants…if Nessie had been sitting there with her ribs broken, he'd have cut his own throat with a broken beer bottle to ease her pain." I nod in agreement. "It's one thing to fight a vampire to protect your imprint," he goes on, "but to _willingly_ let one bite you…that says something."

I feel the pull in my chest and I look to my left to see Jasper and Julian walking towards us. Alice goes skipping up to hug her man. I approach Julian slowly. He looks sad. "You ok?" I ask. He nods solemnly. "I was about to ask you the same question," he admits. I smile at that. "I'm not the one that got my ribs broken," I reply. "No," he agrees, "you were just bitten."

Alice comes in to interrupt us. "The pack wants steak," she announces. Julian nods. "You can't be hungry," I tease him. He gives me a hard look and I want to kick myself. That just sounded _wrong_. "I didn't mean it like that," I blurt out, "I just meant since you just hunted…" "And just fed off of you," he snaps, "I _get_ it." He takes a deep breath and I see him struggling. It's weird to see _him_ struggle not to get upset…his eyes slowly change color and you can see them fight to stay blue as he fights to say calm. "I'm going to the truck," he says in a defeated tone, "just come on our when y'all are ready." He then turns and slowly begins walking towards the exit.

I take a step to go after him and Jasper grabs me by the wrist. "Let him go," he whispers in my ear, "let him calm down Leah." I hear a growl coming from behind me…Seth. I wave him off and nod at Jasper. "He feels guilty," Jasper explains, "I've been feeling it from him ever since he bit you." "But I _told_ him to," I whine. "He doesn't feel guilt about that," Jasper explains, "he feels guilty because he _liked_ it." "Just give him a few minutes to calm down," Jasper suggests, "then go after him."

I give him about ten minutes and excuse myself. I found Julian sitting on the tailgate of his truck with his face held to the sky. A light rain is falling against his face. His eyes are closed. There's a lit cigarette in his left hand. "You know why my friends call me Jude?" he asks. "It's not short for Julian?" I ask. He shakes his head. "The people, who didn't call me 'Doc' in the military started calling me 'Jude'," he explains, "because of the song 'Hey Jude' was written by Paul McCartney for John Lennon's son Julian."

He lowers his head and looks at me. "Dad started calling me that when I got back," he goes on, "for a different reason…Saint Jude. Saint Jude was the patron saint of lost causes." He sighs. "I guess he figured it was fitting." "I've always called you Julian," I whisper, "even before I knew that. Believe me…you are _not_ a lost cause."

Julian's chin drops to his chest. "I shouldn't have bitten you," he says softly. "Why not?" I ask. "It felt…" he begins but I cut him off. "It felt _right_," I state firmly, "it felt _wonderful_. It felt so right and so wonderful I want to do it again." Ok, I've got his attention. "I thought…" he begins. "Shut up and kiss me," I interrupt.

I pull him to me and our mouths lock with a now easy familiarity. Damn this man is sex on two feet. I break it off before it can build too much. "Let's get out of the rain," I whisper. He nods and hops off the tailgate before helping me down.

I'm on him as soon as both doors close. "Julian," I purr in his ear, "were you paying attention when you were drinking me?" "To what?" he breathes. "Your senses," I reply as I nibble his earlobe. "All I could sense was your blood," he admits hesitantly, "all I could smell…and taste. All I could hear was your heart and all I could feel was your blood cooling the burning in my throat." I give a teasing giggle. "You missed a lot," I whisper.

He moves his head to look at me. "If you weren't so preoccupied," I explain, "you would've felt this." I then take his hand and placed it to cup over my once-again-perked nipple. "You were purring as you drank me," I continue, "but if you hadn't been preoccupied…you would've heard me purring right along with you. Your eyes were closed…so sight was out. I know what you were tasting…that's obvious."

I then give him a shy smile. "Scent Julian," I whisper, "the sense you use primarily to hunt with. If it had been paying attention…you would've smelled me." I kiss him gently on the lips. "You would've smelled me…wanting you," I purr, "you know what I mean?" I take his wrist and guide his hand so that it can run up the inside of my thigh. His eyes widen in surprise. "Yeah," I pant as I move closer to him, "I wanted…and still want…like that."

Our kiss is hesitant…but building. Julian eases off my mouth and begins kissing down my jaw. "Want dessert?" I breathe. "No," he says firmly, "no more." "We can do a nightcap later then," I pant as my hands move under his shirt, "a midnight snack if you want." "No," he repeats, "no more." "You didn't like it?" I ask. "I did," he confesses, "I've never liked human blood…but yours was…" He pauses. "Like nothing I've ever tasted. Leah, I have a confession to make. I took more than necessary."

That explains the light-headedness. "I'm yours Julian," I whisper, "take whatever you want." "It's not mine to take," he frowns. "It's mine to give," I argue, "if I'm giving…take it." He shakes his head and I frown. "I'm not going to argue with you Julian," I whisper, "just know we belong together."

With that I move my mouth back to his. I push the action…making the kiss needy and frenzied. Julian responds eagerly. I let my nails lightly run over his chest. Julian is pinned between my body and the driver's side door and I'm not letting him out. My tongue brushes his and I have him panting. My heart soars at that. Julian caresses my face as our tongues explore each others mouths and I start debating in my head if I want to take this to the backseat or just lay one of the front seats all the way back. Thank God for darkly tinted windows.

The darkly tinted windows don't stop Seth from tapping on them. "Come on guys," he calls out, "we're hungry." I growl and Julian has to bite the inside of his cheeks to keep from laughing. He cracks the window. "I'm trying to seduce your sister," he says with mock sincerity, "go away." Seth only rolls his eyes. "He better not be biting her!" we hear Jake yell follow by a loud smack as Nessie pops him in the back of the head. Seth turns around and glares. "They're _fine_ Jake," he growls. "We _were_," I correct, "till my baby brother interrupted us."

Seth gives me a teasing grin. "Come on Leah," he presses, "let's go get some food." I raise my head and look at Julian. "You could probably use some meat," he comments, "you know…keep your strength up." I give him a mock scowl. "We can finish this later Leah," continues softly. "Promise?" I ask. "Promise," he agrees. I slowly move off of him. "Ok," I relent, "let's go get some food."


	11. Chapter 11

**I don't own Twilight. If I did, there would be "Team Sandwater" t-shirts for your Christmas gift giving pleasure.**

CHAPTER 11-LEAH'S P.O.V.

_Our love is like water, pinned down and abused for being strange  
Our love is no other than me alone for me all day  
Our love is like water, pinned down and abused_

"All Over You"

Live

_Daniel's Broiler_ off of North Fairview makes a mean steak. We also had just the crew to handle two vampires, a half-vampire that couldn't eat much, and a half-vampire that was so full he couldn't eat at all. Embry ate his dinner as well as Jasper's. Seth ate his as well as Alice's. Jake handled Nessie's and I handled Julian's. Throw in a few appetizers and some kick ass homemade cheesecake for dessert and the wolves were satisfied. Nessie…testing her new fake ID…also got her first alcoholic drink. She went with something basic…a White Russian…but she liked them so much she drank three of them.

Afterwards we went to some dance club that I could tell Julian didn't really want to be at. I could see why immediately…it was a meat market. Julian might as well have a target painted on his ass from the moment he walked in. All of the boys did. I watched how Alice handled Jasper getting stares. She ignored it and kept herself close to him at all times…which is pretty much how she acts at home. I then notice she's getting checked out too. Oh shit…am I? I glance around quickly. Yep…getting a look or two.

I pull Julian's jacket tighter around me as he takes my hand. We find a long table in the back and everyone…minus the full vampires…order drinks. I'm glad to see Seth is getting his share of interested looks. I just wish he would act on them.

Alice passes the waitress what looks like two one hundred-dollar bills and whispers, "take care of this crew." Needless to say we don't have to worry about getting thirsty. Nessie polishes off yet another White Russian and pulls Jake onto the dance floor. The youngest Cullen can move…so much so Jake looks uncomfortable. Embry slaps Seth on the back and heads to the bar to find him someone to dance with.

I turn to Seth. "Are you going to dance?" I ask. "That an offer Leah?" he asks back, taking a pull off his beer. I roll my eyes. "What's the problem?" Julian asks. Seth blushes. Julian grins at that. "Someone got a case of cold feet?" he asks. Seth's eyes fall towards his shoes but he doesn't comment. Julian leans back and gets a thoughtful nod. "I see," he comments. "Seth," I lecture, "you're sweet…and nice looking. All you have to do is make a move." He nods, but I get the impression he's just doing it to appease me.

"You trust me Seth?" Julian asks. Seth nods without looking up. "Ok," Julian instructs, "if you're too shy to make a move…here's what you do. Grab that table about ten feet away on your left. Sit with your back to the wall and just…wait. You'll be dancing in half an hour." "That's a dumb idea," I snort. Julian cocks his eyebrow at me. "It's _perfect_," he replies, "if Seth's everything you say he is, he'll turn down a few till he gets the one he wants. Basically he'll put his goods out to show and they'll be coming over pulling the 'hey baby, what are you doing sitting all alone' move. It's just like hunting…sometimes stalking works, sometimes you just have to set up an ambush. "You've used this I'm guessing?" I ask. Julian grins. "It worked on you…didn't it?" he replies.

My jaw drops. "I sat there on my motorcycle and asked a group if anyone wanted a ride," Julian continues, turning to me, "Nessie did…but I knew Eddie or Jake wouldn't allow it. Seth did…I shot him down. I was _waiting_ on you Leah." "Being her imprint didn't hurt either," Seth comments. "I didn't _know_ I was," Julian replies, taking another sip of beer, "all I knew was I liked what I saw…and I went for it."

I can't help it…I grab him by the side of his head with both hands and pull his face to mine. Our kiss is sweet and satisfying and I end it with me in his lap. Even with all that's gone on, Julian still feels the imprint. He wanted to spend time with me. I'm grinning when I break it off. "Look at me Seth," Julian says firmly. Seth raises his head in reply but doesn't say anything.

Julian's eyes lock on Seth's. "Do what I just told you," Julian says softly. My jaw drops again when I see Julian's eyes. The blue is now…_swirled_…with black. They're both beautiful and mysterious…and a little freaky…all at the same time. Seth is staring at him like he's imprinting. "Ok," Seth says softly. He stands without a word, picks up his beer, turns, and walks to the table Julian suggested.

I smack Julian on the arm as soon as Seth walks away. "You _hypnotized _him?" I scold. Julian shrugs and polishes off his beer. "You're welcome," he says off-handedly, "and he'll thank me once some good looking honey pulls him on the dance floor." I give him a mock scowl at "good looking honey" but as usual he doesn't pay it any attention. "Look," Julian says, nodding towards Seth.

Seth has not one but _three_ girls at his table. The "strong, silent type" is working like a charm. I see him blush and all three girls giggle. "That's my boy," Julian says proudly. I can't help but chuckle. My imprint is trying to get my brother laid. You have to admit…it's ironic. I gawk as all three girls sit down at Seth's table. "You were right Leah," Julian whispers, "Seth's got that sweet, down home personality that women like. He just needed a push."

The DJ spins "Killing Me Softly" and Julian gets a puzzled look on his face. "Who is that?" he asks. "The Fugees," I reply absently. Julian nods his head thoughtfully. "I like it," he says, "I've never heard this version." "Version?" I ask. He nods…keeping in time with the beat. "It was written in 1971," he explains, "Roberta Flack made it famous in '73." He picks up a shot of Jack Daniels and tosses it back. "It's been covered a lot," he continues, "this version though is…nice. Who's singing?" "Lauryn Hill," I reply. Julian nods thoughtfully. "Nice voice," he comments.

Alice's tinkling laugh breaks up or conversation. We turn to look and she points at the dance floor. Nessie is grinding her ass against Jake who…can't freaking dance. Seriously, I don't know if he just doesn't have any rhythm or if the fact Nessie has him so turned on his pants are too tight but he's so stiff I'm afraid he's going to shatter. Julian is snickering right along with Alice. "What's his problem?" Julian asks. "I think Jake just figured out his imprint isn't a little girl anymore," I reply. "I thought they were 'dating'?" he questions. I grin. "Well," I explain, "I think it's moving to the next level." Julian nods thoughtfully. "Edward will kill him if he finds out," he comments. "_When_ he finds out," I correct, "mind reader…remember?"

I finally get to dance with Julian and I was right…that man could _move_. Seriously, holding him next to him as we moved to various music had me panting. His scent was intoxicating. We stayed close…kissed…touched…and teased every moment we were on the floor. "You are _so_ getting it when we get home," Julian says. I lick my bottom lip when I see his eyes smoldering. "Bring it to me," I grin. He grins back. "Oh," she says confidently, "I intend to."

I wrap my arms around Julian's neck and see Seth out of the corner of my eye dancing with a blond. She's not his imprint…but they seem to be getting along just fine. The song ends and I notice she's going back to the table with Seth while I follow Julian back to ours. "Lee-lee," Nessie slurs, "Jake dance with me!"

Ok, obviously Nessie has had one too many. "I'm glad you got Jude Leah," she continues, "I like my meat a little darker." All jaws drop around the table. Nessie doesn't notice. "Not 'nuff muscle on the new guy," she keeps on. "Hey now," Julian says mockingly, polishing off his beer, "I think I got plenty of muscle." Nessie rolls her eyes. "I think I got 'nother power," she says slowly, "I can make the room spin." Julian laughs. "That's the power of Absolut sweetie," he explains, "clear liquor…bad!"

Nessie leans heavily on Jake's arm. "I feel sorry for you sweetie," Julian continues, "you're going to hate milk by tomorrow." "Milk is _good_," she slurs. "Good going down," Julian explains, "not so good coming up." Nessie rolls her eyes. "Leah's gonna throw up too," she protest. "I _don't_ throw up," I say firmly. Julian nods in agreement.

"Edward's going to kill us," Embry comments. Julian signals for another drink and shakes his head. "Growing up means making a few mistakes and learning a few lessons," Julian replies, "drinking too much is a mistake and the hangover will be a good lesson." I nod in agreement. "I didn't know a hybrid could get drunk," I comment. "It's possible," Julian admits, "I got so drunk on China Beach one time I was clinging to a fence post to keep from falling off the earth." The whole table burst out laughing.

"Seriously," I ask, "last night you drank enough to kill a plow horse…and not only walked without staggering but drove home?" "I've had more practice," Julian explains, "plus I've noticed I tend to handle different foods or drinks the more I have them. For a long time I couldn't eat human food…till I got used to it." "Nessie was the same way," Jake comments, "she could only eat certain things till she got used to it." Julian polishes off another shot and nods.

"Jakie," Nessie wines, "are you going to put me to bed when we get home?" "Probably," Jake replies softly. Nessie then gives him a dreamy smile, leans over, and drops her hand in his lap. "Promise?" she slurs. The look on Jake's face is _priceless_. He looks completely horrified. "Ness," Julian chimes in, "haven't you had enough firsts tonight?" Nessie huffs. "But I want to have sex too!" she exclaims.

_That_ gets a laugh from every nearby table as well as a few offers. Jake and Embry have to give several glares to quiet the comments. "Just humor her," Julian whispers to Jake, "she's _not_ going to feel like that in a few more hours…or sooner if she doesn't slow down." The DJ starts up again. "C'mon Jake," Nessie says, pulling him, "I wanna dance some more!"

"Wow," Julian comments, "I'm glad I'm not him." Everyone chuckles. "There's nowhere else he'd rather be," I reply. Everyone nods in agreement. I lean on Julian's arm and he moves it so that it's wrapped around my shoulders and I'm leaning against his chest. "Any more word on future plans?" Julian asks as Seth joins us. All eyes turn to Alice and Jasper. "No," Alice admits, "Bella is wary about leaving Charlie." Seth, Embry, and I nod in agreement. "What is the pack going to do?" Julian asks.

"It's…up in the air," I admit. "Jake is going with them…obviously. Quil is staying…obviously. We've been told we can do whatever we think is right." "I think I'm going," Embry chimes in, "there's plenty of wolves in La Push and I don't want to stay here forever." Julian nods. "I've talked to Mom," Seth adds, "since she's got Charlie now I think I want to go too. I'm going to visit often of course…for several reasons."

"Like what?" Julian asks. Seth takes a deep breath. "Well, to keep an eye on Mom of course," he explains, "but mainly because I need to keep an eye on La Push." "Why?" Jasper asks. Seth takes another deep breath. "Other than Leah and Jake, all of the other imprints have come from La Push," Seth explains, "so I'm guessing mine hasn't been born yet and I'll have to be there to find her."

"Emily's not full Quileute," I comment, "neither is Claire." Seth nods thoughtfully. "It's still the most likely place," he replies. "You guys ever think maybe the reason we're in this pack is because there's something special about us?" Embry comments. All eyes turn to him. He takes a sip of his beer and shrugs. "Think about it," Embry explains, "we have all of the 'odd' imprints. Quil got a toddler…Leah got a hybrid…Jake got a toddler _and_ a hybrid. Maybe Sam's pack is supposed to be the protectors of La Push and we're supposed to travel the world and save humans…like we're _supposed_ to live more than the single lifetime of our ancestors."

I mull that over. It's actually a sound theory. All of the other imprinted wolves…Sam, Paul, and Jared…got 'normal' imprints. "We're the misfits without the imprinting though," I comment, "because we broke away." "Maybe that's part of it," Seth chimes in. I shrug against Julian's chest. "I don't know how your magic works," Alice admits, "but you are all family. If you want to go when we move…you're welcome to." Jasper nods in agreement. "What about you Leah?" Julian asks.

"That depends on the time in my life," I sigh. "Before shifting I thought I'd live on the rez and raise kids. Then after Sam I thought I'd get away…go off to college somewhere or something. Then after I phased and Jake broke away I thought I'd be stuck with the Cullen's whether I wanted to be or not. Then after the standoff with the Volturi I decided to try to stop phasing and start over somewhere else. When that didn't happen, I thought I wouldn't have a life at all." I exhale harshly. "To be honest, I haven't thought about what will happen next," I go on, "all I know is it will be with Julian. What's weird is…for once I don't have any idea…but I'm more than happy with that."

Julian kisses the side of my head and Seth smiles. "So you're ok with imprinting?" Embry asks Julian. "I don't know if I am or not," Julian admits. "All I know is I want to be with Leah. We decided to just…be together…and let the cards fall." Everyone at the table nods in understanding. "I think the other pack makes too big a deal about imprinting," Alice chimes in, "from what I've seen if you would just treat it like anyone else falling in love…things would go much easier. Instead they go with the whole 'destiny' and 'gravity moving' and all that…it freaks people out. I like what Leah did. True Julian knew about the shape shifting and imprinting…but he didn't know _he_ was her imprint. Leah built a connection with Julian…_then_ told him."

I feel Julian nod in agreement. I see Alice's head shoot up quickly. "Nessie's sick," she grumbles. Everyone groans. "Bathroom?" I ask. Alice nods thoughtfully. I see Jake coming towards the table looking a little queasy himself. "Who's going?" Embry asks. Alice and I share a look. "We'll both go," she replies. I groan but nod in agreement. Julian kisses the side of my head as I get up and follow the pixie to the bathroom.

Luckily the bathroom is empty except for the vomiting hybrid. If she weren't already sick, the smell in here would push her over the edge. My stomach is churning as my over sensitive nose catches it. "Am I going to die?" Nessie wails. Both Alice and I roll our eyes. "No," I assure her, "you'll just wish you could to put you out of your misery." Nessie begins crying and proceeds to throw up again.

As soon as she's finished Alice and I pick her up and carry her to the sink. Nessie has spewed on her shirt and it's getting on Alice and me. "Rinse," Alice orders. Nessie cups her hand and puts it under the faucet. "She's never been sick," Alice explains, "so I'm sure this is new for her." I nod in understanding. "I'm sorry guys," Nessie whines. "Hush," I say firmly, "it happened to me the first time I went out like this." Nessie lays her forehead on the edge of the sink. "Let's call it a night," Alice says, placing her cold hand on the back of her neck.

We half walk half drag Nessie back to the table. "I think it's time to shut down this party," Alice says. Jasper nods in agreement. Julian stands and walks over to me. He starts to drape his jacket over my shoulders, but stops. "What's that smell?" he asks. "Don't ask," I reply with a grumble. Julian sighs. "We'll get you out of that shirt once we're outside and you can wear this home," he promises. I get the feel of that soft, heavy leather soaked with Julian's scent against my bare skin? Huh…the night's looking better and better.

We hold Nessie up until we get out of the club, then Jake picks her up and carries her to the car. I stand behind the car and strip off my shirt and put Julian's jacket on over me. I then throw the nasty shirt in the Volvo. Inside the car is going to smell bad because of Nessie anyway. I feel kind of hot wearing just my bra and his leather jacket. I zip it up enough to cover my cleavage and step back around.

Everyone's loaded up by the time I'm done. Julian is grinning like a kid on Christmas morning. I'm grinning too…and I'm sure mine matches his. I hop in the truck with him and he pulls in behind the Volvo. "Can I make a suggestion?" Julian asks. "Sure," I reply, "whatcha got?"

Julian takes a deep breath. "I'm going to need a dry cleaner," he says. I frown. I didn't think of that…but I can smell puke still too. "I'll do it," I promise. Julian nods. "That your idea?" I ask. Julian shakes his head. "I was thinking maybe we get a shower when we get back to the Cullen's…together." My smile is back. "Yeah," I purr, "that sounds like a plan." Julian smiles slightly. "I wasn't kidding," he says softly, "you're going to get it when you get home." "I'm counting on it," I purr.

I lift up the armrest and stretch my body so I can lay my head on his leg. Julian begins to stroke my hair. "I'm glad you're my imprint Julian," I whisper. I hear him chuckle softly. "I'm glad you're my imprinter," he whispers back. I snuggle deeper against his warm leg. "Take a nap," he suggests, "it's going to be a while before we can get back." I yawn and nod. I feel so complete being next to my imprint. "We'll probably have to stop so Nessie can throw up," he says softly. "I'll wake you when we get home." I nod again. I drift off into an easy slumber with "Black Water," playing lightly in the cab.

I wake up in Julian's arms as he's carrying me into the Cullen's house. He didn't mean to, but the strong scent of vampire woke me the moment we passed through the door. "Where's your room?" he whispers. "Second floor," I mumble, "first door on the left." Julian kisses the top of my head and carries me up the stairs. I'm glad I got a strong imprint.

Julian sits me on the edge of the bed and closes the door before turning on the bedside lamp. "Where is everyone?" I ask. "Hunting," Julian replies, "except for Carlisle…who's doing the night shift at the hospital." I nod and Julian slides the jacket off my shoulders. He kneels and begins trailing kisses down my neck. "How's my neck look?" I ask. That stops him. "It's healed," he replies. "Thirsty?" I ask. He shakes his head and I frown. "Not tonight Leah," he says sadly.

"Julian," I reply, "it's ok if you are. I don't mind." He frowns at that. "Ok," I go on, "call me crazy…but it _really_ turned me on when you did." He gives me a puzzled look. "Really?" he asks. "Not 'kind of' or 'sort of'?" I shake my head. "But I'm not thirsty Leah," he says.

"You don't have to," I say as I stand. "But if you need to feed…I'm here for you." Julian nods and stands. "Now," I go on, "I'm going to get a shower. Give me a few minutes to get this smell off of me…then come wash my back." I walk to the door, removing my shoes and skirt as I go. "And," I say without looking back, "any other parts you think need special attention."

I'm humming in the shower when I hear Julian come in. He steps in without knocking…not that he needs to. "You clean?" he asks. I start to say something flirty…something like "no, I'm a dirty girl" but one look at Julian naked in full light causes the words to die on my tongue. I only give a soft nod to answer him. He steps in and closes the glass door behind him.

We meet under the spray and I kiss him with as much ferocity as I can manage. His hands go to my waist and pull me tight against him. I feel them move around to my back to my rear and I purr against his mouth. My hands wrap around his shoulders. He smells even better under the warm spray.

Julian's mouth slips off of mine and begins going down my neck. I continue to rub his shoulders as his head moves down to my collarbone. He gives it a gentle nip and I shudder. He keeps moving and I gasp as he catches a nipple in my mouth. He sucks gentle and pulls me tighter against him. "_Oh_," I whisper. I feel his teeth graze my nub and I shiver. "Here," I ask, "or in bed?" Julian releases my nipple and looks up. "Why not both?" he says with a grin that stokes the fire in the pit of my stomach. "Why not?" I reply as nonchalantly as I can manage. Inside though I want to start cheering.

I squeak in surprise as Julian spins me around and pushes my body against the shower wall. He crushes my body between his and the wall and I moan as I feel his hardness pressed against my ass. I feel his arm wrap around my waist till his hand gets to my pubic bone. He pulls slightly, pushing my ass harder against him and I gasp in response.

Another shiver runs down my spine as the head of his cock slides down the crack of my ass as his hand moves down to part my folds with his fingers. I feel him bend slightly before raising up to sink it inside of me hard enough to force me to raise up on my toes. I hiss in response and reach around to caress his head. "You like that," he pants in my ear as he continues to thrust into me. "God _yes_," I gasp in response. I move his hand up to cup one of my breasts and push slightly away from the wall.

Julian picks up his pace and lets his free hand reach around me to find my clit. He begins to rub in time with each thrust. "_Yes_," I hiss, "God…Julian…" He growls in my ear in response. He's thrusting so hard I feel him in the pit of my stomach and I keep raising up on my toes involuntarily. He's not holding back as much as he was last night and I _love_ it. I turn my head and press my cheek and upper body against the cool tile while I push my ass out towards him. One of my arms is braced against the wall and the other reaching up and slightly behind me to grip the back of his head.

I begin to whimper as my stomach muscles begin clenching. I grit my teeth as he picks up his pace yet again. His teeth graze the side of my neck and I whimper again. I hear his breath catch in his throat, then a low guttural cry as he cums. The rush of warmth is enough to push me over the edge and I take the plunge right along with him.

Julian is panting as he leans heavily against my back. I sigh as I let my nails trace against the back of his head. "You alright?" he asks. "Wonderful," I purr. He buries his forehead against my shoulder and works on getting his breathing under control. I feel my inner muscles fluttering against his cock…still throbbing inside of me. I can't describe the satisfaction I feel.

We stay against the wall until he finally goes limp and slips out of me. Once again I feel the loss as soon as he's gone. I turn around and engulf him in my arms. I hold him against me for several minutes under the spray. I then step back and begin washing him off. I take my time…the water has shown no signs of cooling off. I admire everything about my imprint…his pale, smooth skin…his muscles…the hair on his chest and stomach…the way he seems to shine while wet.

Once I'm done, Julian does the same to me. I'm not used to someone looking at me like he does…especially not while I'm naked. It's a new experience for me. Julian's hands are warm and gentle as he bathes me. It's a new experience, but like other experiences I'm having with my imprint I'm looking forward _to_ getting used to it.

After we shower we dry each other off and move to the bedroom. "You going to be ok tomorrow alone?" I ask. "Sure," Julian says, slipping under the sheet without dressing. I bite my bottom lip and nod. "I'm going to take your jacket to the cleaners," I inform him, "then I'm going to talk to Mom." "Ah," Julian says with a nod, "need my truck?" "If you don't mind," I reply softly. "All yours," he promises. I sit on the edge of the bed and let my head drop. "Nervous?" Julian asks. I nod without speaking. Julian raises up and puts a hand on my bare shoulder. "It will be fine," he promises.

"How can you be sure?" I snap. "How can I not?" he asks back in a soft voice. "Julian," I retort, "I've been a harpy for years. I've withdrawn from everyone…pushed them away…and simply been a bitch to live with. To top if off I tried to kill myself a few days ago. How am I supposed to overcome that?" "It will be ok," he says again with more firmness. "You believe that?" I ask. "I _have _to," he replies, "I'm your imprint."

That answer stops me short. I've said over and over that I was going to "trust the magic". Julian is just reminding me of that. If I believe I should trust the magic…which I do…then I should have more confidence. I turn and give him a small smile. "I love you," I whisper. Julian smiles back. "Whether I understand the imprint or not," he replies, "I feel that too."


	12. Chapter 12

(A/N I just want to say I'm not 100% thrilled about this chapter. When I first wrote it, I thought Leah was a little cruel towards Sue in the hopes of making this a surprise. I hated it so I rewrote it. It's better, but not exactly what I wanted. It'll get better I think...promise.)

**I don't own Twilight. However if S.M. wants to write from this universe again, we can negotiate for "Team Sandwater".**

CHAPTER 12-LEAH'S P.O.V.

_So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,  
blue skies from pain.  
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?  
A smile from a veil?  
Do you think you can tell?  
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?  
Hot ashes for trees?  
Hot air for a cool breeze?  
Cold comfort for change?  
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?  
_

"Wish You Were Here"

Pink Floyd

I left him asleep when the sun rose. We had made love for another hour before finally drifting off to sleep. It was slow, sweet, and _very _satisfying. I had awoken with my cheek pressed against Julian's naked back and my arms around him. I did watch him sleep for several minutes. I was right. Completely relaxed, he looked so peaceful while he slept. I would've loved to have gathered his head up in my arms and watched him until he woke up.

Instead I slip out of bed and into the shower. I'm washing my hair when I smell vampire. "What are you doing up Leah?" Alice whispers from the other side of the shower door. "I'm going to talk to Mom," I reply softly, "please don't wake Julian." "I won't," Alice promises. "You need something to wear?"

I bite my lip and mull it over. "What do you think Alice?" I ask. "Forget the twisted pleasure you get from playing Native American Barbie…what do you think?" Alice huffs. "I _still_ think I should pick you out something," she replies, "you want your mom to see everything's ok now, right?" "Yeah," I sigh, "but you don't think me showing up dressed to kill would tip her off something's wrong?"

"Or something's right," Alice points out. The pixie has a point. "Leah," Alice explains, "from what I know about you mom she's going to be concerned when you show up unannounced wanting to talk anyway…it's just not you. Don't you think showing up looking nice would make the surprise a little more pleasant?" "I guess," I grumble. "Trust me Leah," Alice says, "we'll get you something causal yet pretty. Something that would make your mom smile." "Alright," I relent. Alice lets off a soft squeal…mindful of Julian sleeping in the next room. "I'll be right back," she promises.

I've shut off the water and am reaching for my towel when Alice returns. "What are you going to say Leah?" Alice asks. "I have no idea," I reply, "regardless Mom's going to freak about Monday." I step out and see the underclothes on the counter and the dress hanging up over the door. She has a lilac print sundress picked out with matching underwear. Not something I would used to wear…but now I can see myself in it. I pull the panties up my legs under the towel. "Want my advice?" Alice asks.

"I'll take any I can get," I grumble as I slide into my bra. "Just spit it out," Alice says. "There's really no way you can sugar coat this Leah. You're right…your mom is going to freak." "That's what I'm afraid of," I explain. Alice sighs. "Just tell her," she replies, "be gentle though. You have a tendency to be blunt at times and Monday will be difficult for her to hear about. Ease into it."

I nod and slide the dress over my head. Alice…as usual…has the perfect outfit picked out. Alice begins running a comb through my hair. "Relax," she whispers in my ear, "not only does you having your imprint make everything ok for you but it will make everything ok for your mom. All she wants is for you to be happy." I nod and wince as Alice pulls out a tangle. She then picks up the blow dryer.

Alice is quick and efficient with my hair. I wear it down as usual. Alice then produces a pair of white sandals to complete my ensemble. She then surprises me by kissing me on the cheek. "Good luck," she says before leaving me with my thoughts. I slip into the bedroom to get Julian's keys and my wallet. He's still sound asleep and looking as peaceful as he did when I left. I slip over to his side of the bed, give him a gentle kiss on the cheek, and slip out of the room.

Julian's truck is bigger than anything any of the others drive except maybe Emmett's Jeep. I start it up and turn off the CD player. I want to be alone with my thoughts right now. I look at myself in the mirror. "You can do this Clearwater," I tell myself as I move down the driveway. I feel silly talking to myself.

I was afraid I'd have a problem driving Julian's truck. It's much bigger and much more powerful than my old Cougar. However it handles much better than I expected and the ride is nothing but smooth. Parking in front of the cleaners is a little more difficult than with my car, but nothing I can't manage. I'm at Forks' only cleaners when they open the door in the morning. They assure me they can have Julian's jacket ready in a couple of days. It's nice doing this for him. I know it's not really a big deal…but it still feels nice doing something to make my imprint happy.

I pull up at the house to see Charlie's cruiser still parked in the driveway. He hasn't even left for work yet. Mom has been staying with him ever since they decided to get serious. She said the house reminds her too much of Dad. I can understand that…it's the reason I choose to stay with vampires instead of at home.

I walk up to the door and knock gently. Charlie answers in his uniform. "Leah?" he asks in surprise. "Morning, Charlie," I reply softly. "Is…everything all right?" he asks. I nod. "Is Mom here?" I ask. Charlie nods. "She's still upstairs," he replies, "I'll get her." I give him a small smile. "You ok?" he asks, moving so I can step inside. "It's…tribal business," I reply.

Now Charlie is on a "need to know" basis as far as anything supernatural. He knows about the pack…he just wants to know as little as possible. "Tribal business" is code for "it may be something you don't want to know" since the shape shifters are Quileute and the tribal council knows the secret. "I see," he replies. He then leads me into the kitchen. "Sue," he calls up the stairs, "you've got company."

He then walks back over to the door and takes his gun belt off the hook before putting it around his waist. "You look nice Leah," he comments. "Thanks," I reply. We're silent for a beat. Neither Charlie nor I are big on conversation. "Who was the guy I saw you with Tuesday?" he asks. "His dad is an old friend of the Cullen's," I explain, "he took me out for coffee." Charlie nods thoughtfully. "It was nice," he comments, "you being out on a date." "It wasn't a date," I snap, "it was just coffee." Charlie shrugs. "If you say so," he comments.

Mom comes down the stairs in her bathrobe with her hair uncombed. "Leah?" she asks surprised. None of the pack…myself included…is known for being early risers. That and I don't visit all that often. "Hi Mom," I say softly. Mom gives me a slow once over, taking in my clothes. "Is everything alright?" she asks. I nod slowly. "I just…wanted to talk," I answer, "can we?"

She and Charlie share a look. As a rule I don't talk…to anybody. The only reason Seth knows so much about what I think is because he can see my thoughts in wolf form. Mom…and Charlie…are now _really _wondering what's going on. "I got to get to the station," Charlie says as he walks over to Mom. Charlie took the hint that we needed some mother/daughter time. He gives her a quick peck on the lips. "Be careful," she whispers to him. He smiles. "Always," he promises. "Good seeing you Leah." "See ya Charlie," I reply.

Mom and I just look at each other for a moment before she speaks. "Want coffee?" she asks. I nod. She beckons me to sit at the table, which I do. "Is everything alright?" she asks. "That…depends," I admit. Julian is good…everything else is a different matter. Mom sets a mug in front of me. "You look lovely dear," she comments. I give her a small smile. "Thank you," I whisper. She sits down in the chair beside me. "What do you want to talk about?" she asks.

I take a deep breath. "What would you say if I said I had a confession to make," I begin, "and some of it will be difficult for you to hear?" Mom gives me a sad look. "Confession?" she asks. I nod slowly. "Things are good Mom," I continue, "for the first time in a long time things are looking up for me. I need to get some things off my chest…to put the past away so to speak." I bite my bottom lip. "Just promise me you'll remember that things are better Mom," I continue, "and that this is to help me move forward."

Mom gives me a small smile. "I'm your mother Leah," she says firmly, "whether your life is good or bad. If you need to talk, I'm more than ready to listen." I nod. "Is it ok if I start at the beginning?" I ask. "I want to make sure you understand everything." Mom nods. "It's your story sweetie," she replies softly, "you start wherever you need to."

I take a deep breath to steady my nerves. "You know most of it," I begin, "you know about what happened with Sam and me phasing." Mom nods, though her mouth has tightened severely. She's as sensitive about Sam as I am…or I used to be. "You also know I feel responsible about Dad's death," I go on. "_That_ wasn't your fault Leah," Mom snaps, "it would've happened sooner or later." I hold up my hand before she can press it further. "It's what I was thinking," I explain, "and I promise you it's better. I only brought it up so that you would know what I was thinking Mom."

She relaxes slightly and nods. One thing about Mom: you don't mess with Seth or me. She is worse than a sow bear with her cubs. "Seth told you I was trying to stop phasing?" I ask. Mom nods slowly. "He also said you weren't having any luck," she continues. "I can't stop phasing," I explain, "by that I mean I can't _physically_ stop. If I go longer than a week without phasing it'll happen against my will regardless of my emotions. I swear Mom, no trigger or anything." Mom reaches over and squeezes my hand. "I understand honey," she whispers. I swallow hard.

"Do you know why?" she asks. I shake my head. "I've gone to everyone I could think to ask," I continue, "Jake…Billy…even Sam." Mom's eyebrows rise up in shock. "Yeah," I admit, "I went to the other pack. They think it's because I'm a bitter harpy." Mom's mouth tightens again but she doesn't comment. "I finally went to the smartest guy I could think of," I continue, "Carlisle Cullen. I figured if anyone could figure it out he could." Mom nods in agreement. She's up on the Cullen's and what all they're capable of. "Did he find anything?" she asks.

I nod. "According to his research," I continue, "every wolf that's ever given up phasing did so for one reason and one reason only…to age with their imprint." Mom's face crumples. She's well aware of the fact no one…including me until Monday…believes I can either imprint or be imprinted on. "Is he sure?" Mom asks. "As sure as he can be," I reply, "he was working close to Billy Black…because Billy has the histories…and they're in agreement." Mom nods slowly. "I'm guessing there's more," she comments softly.

I nod slowly. "So to recap," I continue, "I lost my fiancée…morphed into a giant wolf…became a genetic dead end…left my pack to hang out with vampires…and am now faced with living like this for eternity because I'm immortal." Mom's eyes lock on mine. "What are you saying Leah?" she asks. "I'm summing up everything," I explain, "because it all came to a head Monday."

I drop my head and bite my bottom lip. "I researched for four days," I explain, "on the best way to kill myself. It's hard to kill us." Mom reaches over and grabs my hand as the tears begin to fall. I don't cry in front of other people. The last time was at Dad's funeral. Even when Sam and I broke up, I refused to shed a tear in public. It shows weakness and I couldn't afford to be weak.

"How?" Mom asks. "Carbon monoxide," I choke out, "as soon as my heart stopped beating it would stop our super fast healing…and kill me." "Why?" Mom asks. "I _told_ you," I sob, "I thought I was going to live forever like this." Mom squeezes my hand tighter and I look up. Her eyes are welling up as well. "Leah…" she sobs before throwing her arms around my neck.

I have always missed this and always wished I could let my mother comfort me. However I've always refused to allow it. My pain has always been my own. I've never wished to push it on anyone. While Sam's pack always thought I was thinking things just to hurt the pack, that wasn't the case. I was simply just a new wolf. I didn't know how to control my thoughts yet. It wasn't bitterness…it was simply my pain mixed with my inexperience.

I finally get myself under control and ease Mom back to her place. "Everything's alright," I assure her, "I know you don't understand now but I'm going to explain." "_How_ Leah?" she says through her tears. "It's not possible to be suicidal on Monday and just be ok on Friday." "It is for our kind," I reply simply. "No it _isn't_," she hisses fiercely. "Leah, I know as much about the wolves as _anyone_ can without actually being one. There is nothing in this world that can just _make_ you ok except…"

Mom's jaw drops and she freezes in shock. "No interruptions," I say softly. She nods dumbly. Mom's not dumb. If she hasn't figured it out now, she will very shortly. "I drove out to a clearing and stuck a hose in the tailpipe of my car," I continue. "I was slumped over in the car almost dead. Alice had seen a vision about reading the news about my suicide and warned the pack. Seth and Embry were on their way…but they were going to be too late. I was dead mom…till someone intervened."

Our eyes lock and Mom's face goes from shocked to calm. "That someone was a hybrid…like Nessie," I continue, "he punched through my window, yanked the door off, and pulled me out. When Seth and Embry entered the clearing, of course they thought I was being attacked…and the hybrid thought I was a human about to be attacked by them. He held them off until Carlisle and Emmett could get there. Once Carlisle got there, he was able to defuse the situation."

I take a sip of my rapidly cooling coffee. "I never saw the guy," I continue, "I woke up in the same room Bella delivered Nessie in wearing a hospital gown. Carlisle brought me around of course. I then got cleaned up and met the hybrid that saved me. One look is all it took." I then take a deep breath and look straight at my mom. "His name is Julian," I say firmly, "and he's my imprint."

"Thank God," Mom says immediately. I huff but don't reply. "Leah," she says excitedly, "you _imprinted_?" I nod slowly. She looks like she's about to break into a victory dance. "He's…like Nessie?" she asks. "If 'like Nessie' you mean a half vampire/half human…yes," I reply. "But he's different than Nessie." Mom drains her coffee in three fast gulps and pours us both a refill. "Ok," she says, "spill. I want to know all about him. You said his name is Julian?"

Just like me when I realized I had imprinted, Mom looks like all of a sudden everything is going to be ok. "Julian Sanders," I reply, "he tells people to call him Jude…but I don't. He looks like he's in his early twenties." "How old is he really?" Mom asks. "He was born in 1950," I reply. Mom nods. I eye her carefully. "That bother you?" I ask. "He's your imprint Leah," Mom says softly, "I don't care if he has two heads…he's _your_ imprint."

"It's…weird," I explain, "while I was sitting in the car, I fantasized about what I would've wanted in a man…imprint or not. Everything I wanted, the imprinting magic nailed. It's amazing." Mom's grinning from ear-to-ear. "What else?" she asks, warming to the subject. "He was raised in the north Florida/south Georgia area," I say, "in the Okefenokee Swamp." Mom nods for me to continue. She's smiling like Seth did when he realized I'd imprinted. "His mom died in childbirth…like Bella almost did," I continue, "he was raised by his human feeding vampire dad." "He's a human feeder?" Mom asks.

I knew this would be cause for concern. "He's been clean since 1975," I reply, "it's a long story…so be patient." Mom nods thoughtfully. "Julian _hates_ most vampires. He actually refused to hunt humans since birth." Mom looks confused, but I expected that. "He joined the Navy in 1960," I continue, "and was sent to Vietnam in '63." Mom mouths the word 'wow' but doesn't comment. "He had to feed on human blood over there," I continue, "animals are hard to come by in a war zone." Mom nods in agreement. "He…fed on humans because there _were_ no animals?" She clarifies. I nod.

My explanation obviously relieves her. "How long was he there?" she asks. "Till the fall of Saigon in 1975," I reply. Mom nods in understanding. "Jasper pulled his military record," I continue, "he has a record that would make Rambo salute him." Mom raises an eyebrow. "Really?" she asks. "Navy Cross," I recite from memory, "four Bronze Stars…two Silver Stars…one Purple Heart." "Wow," Mom says in awe. I nod in agreement. That was my reaction too. "What did he do?" Mom asks. "Navy Corpsman," I reply, "assigned to a Marine Recon unit…until the U.S. pulled out in '73. He was then put with a unit guarding the U.S. embassy in Saigon till it fell." "His control is that good?" Mom asks.

"He's been to medical school twice since he got back to the U.S.," I reply, "and worked as a paramedic for a while." "That's wonderful dear," Mom replies happily. I smile back. "Nice looking?" Mom asks. "_Very_ nice looking," I reply, "about 6'2"…red hair cut military short…the coolest blue eyes I've ever seen." I sigh. "_Really_ nice body," I add. Mom smiles at that.

"He has a motorcycle," I add, "Harley." Mom gets a thoughtful look on her face. "Is he the guy Charlie saw you with Tuesday?" she asks. I nod. "He knows about the pack?" Mom asks. "Carlisle thought it was prudent to tell him since Seth and Embry almost attacked him," I reply, "Jake agreed." Mom nods in agreement also. "He eats more human food than Nessie," I continue, "but he does have to hunt about once a week." "You feel safe?" Mom asks. "Very," I reply.

"Tell me more," Mom prompts. She's in full girl talk mode. I ponder. I don't think she wants to know what he's like in bed. "Really smart," I continue, "you hear jokes about people that talk like Jeff Foxworthy…but Julian's really smart." I smile. "The accent is kind of sexy," I admit. Mom smiles at that. "Southern drawl?" she asks. I blush and nod. "He listens to the same stuff Dad liked," I go on, "rock music from the 60's and 70's." Mom smiles again and nods. "Does he know about imprinting?" Mom asks.

I nod. "I took a different route than the others," I admit, "since he knew about the pack…and a little about imprinting." Mom gives me a funny look. "He found out about Jake and Nessie," I explain. "Ah," Mom replies, "ok…go on." "I just got to know him and let him get to know me," I continue, "once it was obvious we had a connection, I told him." "That simple?" Mom asks. "Yep," I reply, "it was the easiest part of my life since I shifted."

"Oh Leah," Mom says, pulling me into another hug, "I've been so worried about you…and it sounds like I had reason to." I hug her back tightly. "Everything's ok now," I whisper. She nods against my shoulder. "Don't do that again," she says fiercely, "I mean I doubt you would now…but don't even think it. Promise me Leah." I swallow hard and nod.

"Now," she says as she releases me and dries her eyes, "when do I get to meet the famous Julian?" "When do you want to?" I ask. "Now," she teases. I shrug. "He's at the Cullen's," I explain, "you want to go over there?" Mom swallows. I know the problem immediately. She's never been comfortable there. It's an understandable reaction…it took me years to get even halfway comfortable around vampires. "Let's do it," she says with a grin.

Wow…I did _not_ expect that. "Go get dressed," I reply, "and I'll call him." Mom beams at me. "Give me about twenty minutes," she says in a rush as she polishes off her coffee and hurries up the stairs. I walk over the phone in the kitchen. Shit…I never got Julian's cell number. I dial the Cullen's house phone instead.

"Cullen residence," Esme's voice answers. "Um…Esme," I reply, "it's Leah." "Good morning Leah," Esme replies sweetly, "is everything alright?" "Yes ma'am," I reply, "I was just wondering if it was alright if my mom came over." "Of course!" she exclaims happily. "We always enjoy company."

I shudder. I know Esme didn't mean it the way it sounded…but if any other vampire had told me that… "She wants to meet Julian," I go on, "has he woken up yet?" "No," Esme says softly, "but I'll be more than happy to get one of the boys to wake him." I frown. I'd rather let him sleep. Ok, it's a lie…I'd rather crawl back into bed with him. "I guess," I mumble, "Mom's pretty anxious." "We'll have him ready," she promises, "I'll even make some breakfast." "That would be nice," I agree, "I know Mom hasn't eaten yet either."

"Did you tell your mom he's your imprint?" Esme asks. "Or does she think he's just someone you're dating?" "Imprint," I admit, "she knows he's my imprint." "Wonderful," Esme gushes, "I'll let everyone know to expect you then." "Thank you Esme," I reply politely. "You're welcome dear," Esme replies, "I'm so glad you found him." "Me too," I admit. "Drive safely," Esme, says. "Ok," I reply, "bye."

I finish my coffee while Mom gets ready. She's down in fifteen minutes…a huge smile on her face. She gets her purse from beside the couch. "I look alright?" she asks. She's wearing a pair of jeans and a black blouse. "You look fine Mom," I assure her. She smiles at me. "I have to look presentable for your imprint," she teases. I fight to not roll my eyes. "He's seen me worse…I assure you," I reply. Mom scoffs at me. "Did you run over here?" she asks. "In _this_ outfit?" I ask. Mom smiles. "You look nice Leah," she says again. I blush at her compliment.

We step outside and I walk towards the truck. "Where'd this come from?" Mom asks. "It's Julian's," I reply. Mom gives me a puzzled look. "I thought he has a Harley," she says. "He does," I explain, "but he can't ride it around here much…too rainy. So he puts it in the back of the truck. He also has this vintage Airstream trailer he travels with." Mom nods thoughtfully. "Practical," she comments. "I think so," I agree.

Mom climbs up in the passenger's seat and buckles her seat belt. "Nice," she comments. I nod in agreement. "So is he rich?" Mom asks. "Mom!" I exclaim. "Just curious Leah," she soothes, "from what I know about vampires most of them are." "Julian's dad was," I reply, "so I'm guessing he's got a little saved up." That makes my mom smile. She wouldn't care either way…but knowing he can take care of me makes her feel better.

Mom lets out an 'oh' of surprise as her arm bumps something jammed between the seats as I drive away from the house. She reaches over and pulls out Julian's K Bar knife still sheathed. "He hunts like a vampire does," I explain quickly, "the only difference is he'll take some meat with him to eat later." Mom nods thoughtfully at that. "I _told_ you he was practical," I comment. "I don't disagree," she replies, "trust me Leah…I grew up with a family of hunters and fisherman. The sight of a knife isn't going to send me into hysterics."

"He got it in the Navy," I comment, "it's got 'U.S.N.' stamped on the blade near the handle." Mom smiles and puts it back. "My Leah has imprinted," Mom says happily. I roll my eyes as I continue towards the Cullen's. "Its exciting Leah," she scolds, "after all these years of being told it can't happen…it did!"

I don't disagree with her. I just drive. Mom continues to chat happily until I turn into the Cullen's driveway. As soon as the tires turn onto the dirt she gets quiet. "Nervous?" I ask. "About being here," she admits, "just my nerves." "You're safe," I assure her. "I know," she replies, "I'm just cautious." I nod solemnly as I stop in the front yard. "Come on," Mom says cheerily, "let's go meet your imprint."


	13. Chapter 13

**Still don't own Twilight. Mrs. Myer, if you're reading...the rights to Team Sandwater are for sale!**

CHAPTER 13-LEAH'S P.O.V.

I get out first and hurry around to be near Mom. She's fighting her fear by being here and I plan on doing whatever I can to make it easier on her. Edward and Bella are waiting on the porch. "Sue," Edward says politely, "pleasure to see you again." Mom gives him a small smile. "I trust you are well," Edward continues. "I'm fine Edward," Mom replies, "how is your family?" "Very well…thank you," Edward replies. "Esme tell you we were coming?" I ask. Bella grins. "Yep," she replies, "Mom's meeting the imprint huh?"

That gets Mom to smiling again. "Where is Julian?" I ask. "Waiting inside," Bella replies. "Rosalie is giving him an earful about Renesmee coming home drunk." "Nessie got drunk?" Mom asks in shock. I ignore her. "She should blame Jake," I tell Bella, "Julian didn't buy her a single drink last night." Bella nods. "I hate to see her ill," Edward chimes in, "but maybe she learned her lesson." I nod in agreement.

Bella turns to Mom. "Esme was about to serve breakfast," she tells us. "I'm sure you'd like to meet Jude before that." Mom nods in agreement. Edward opens the door for us. "What do I call him?" Mom whispers to me. "Julian or Jude?" "Either," I reply. Mom ponders for a split second. "Which does he prefer?" she asks. "Jude," I reply. "Why do you call him Julian then?" Mom questions. "Long story," I reply, "now get in here and meet him."

Mom walks timidly through the door. I notice no one is in the living room now except Julian. He's wearing jeans and a royal blue polo shirt. I can't help but grin seeing he's also wearing his usual motorcycle boots. He gives me a soft smile and I can't wait any longer. I've ignored the tugging in my chest for too long. I skip up to him, throw my arms around his neck, and kiss him enthusiastically. He freezes for a moment, then accepts eagerly. I finally break it off and pull his ear closer to my mouth. "Ready to meet Mom?" I whisper.

Julian nods and I slowly release him. I turn around to make the introductions. "Mom," I begin, "this is Julian. Julian…my mom." "Julian Sanders," he says offering her his hand. His other arm is still around my waist. Mom ignores it. Instead she walks up and wraps her arms around him. "I'm so glad to meet you," she sobs.

I don't know if I should feel happy or embarrassed. This so unlike her. Julian releases me and hugs her back gently. "You…smell nice," she comments. Julian chuckles. Mom gives him one more squeeze and releases him. "He's _cute_ Leah," she gushes. Ok…embarrassed. Julian blushes right along with me. "Thank you," he mumbles. I start to embarrass her…say something like _you should see him naked_…but don't. She's just excited.

Truthfully though…I'm relieved. The thing with vampires is their allure will draw you in…but you _still_ deep down sense danger and aren't completely comfortable. I was hoping that Julian…like Nessie…would have the allure of a vampire while still retaining enough humanity that Mom wouldn't feel any danger. Hybrids seem to be hit and miss when it comes to their characteristics. I didn't know if the fact Julian was male…or venomous…or even just being raised by a blood drinker…would make that allure different. It looks like there's no worries here. Mom is completely taken with him. "Please," Edward offers, "sit."

Julian sits on the couch and I sit beside him. I expect Mom to sit beside me, but instead she sits on the other side of Julian. Wow…_that_ I didn't expect. "Sleep well?" I tease. "Woke up a little cold," he teases back, "no idea why." Mom is smiling. I don't know if she gets it or not or cares or not. She just looks happy. "Leah tells me you're a member of the tribal council Mrs. Clearwater," Julian prompts. "Call me Sue," she replies quickly, "and yes…I took my late husband's spot."

Mom begins chatting happily about the council as Seth comes inside. He doesn't interrupt her. Instead he sits on the top step of the staircase and smiles at me. "Have you seen La Push?" Mom asks Julian. "Tuesday," Julian replies, "Leah and I went to the beach after breakfast." Mom smiles. "My husband saw you two at the diner," she comments. Julian nods thoughtfully. "Chief Swan," he comments, "I remember." Mom beams at him and nods.

They continue to chat and I'm surprised to see what happens next. People begin coming in…both pack members and vampires. That isn't what surprises me. What surprises me is that Mom completely _ignores_ them. Even when Emmett lumbered towards Mom to get the remote she didn't even flinch even though he was in plain sight. The smile never left her face as she peppered Julian with questions. Julian…to his credit…didn't seem put off by the interrogation.

Esme calls us to breakfast and Julian rises up quickly to help my mom up. She does flinch at his speed, but continues to smile. She takes his hand and allows him to help her up. "You're…_warm_," she comments. I bite my bottom lip to keep from laughing. "Yes ma'am," Julian replies as he escorts her to the table. Mom is smiling as she takes his arm. I can't help but shake my head in disbelief.

Nessie gives up her seat and moves down so that Julian can sit at his usual head of the table and both Mom and I can sit on each side of him. "You _must_ come to dinner tonight," Mom says as soon as she fixes her plate. Julian glances at me and I nod. "I'd love to," Julian agrees. Mom beams at him. "Is there anything you can't eat?" She asks. Julian shakes his head. "Pretty flexible," he admits. "Grilled salmon?" she asks. "Sounds wonderful," he admits. I grin. I would be able to tell if he was lying…and he's not.

Mom then turns to me. "Can you take me home later so I can cook?" she asks. "How will Julian get there?" I ask. "He doesn't know where you live." "I can show him," Seth volunteers. Julian nods in agreement. "Sounds good then," I agree. Mom looks at the other wolves. "Anyone else?" she asks.

Quil shakes his head. "I'm babysitting Claire," he replies. "I'm game," Embry pipes up. Mom nods at both of them. "I'll have to ask Mom and Dad," Nessie pipes up, "but if they're ok with it I'd like to come with Jake." "Of course dear," Mom replies. Mom didn't invite her specifically…but she _is_ Charlie's granddaughter. The invitation was for her too. "I'll go ask her now," she says, hopping up.

"Sue," Jake says, "I was wanting to talk to you about something." Mom of course turns to Jake. He takes a deep breath. "I'm kind of worried about something," he begins, "and I thought maybe I should get your opinion." "Of course Jake," she replies, "would you rather have the entire council for this discussion?" Jake shakes his head. "No ma'am," he replies, "it concerns your family and I'd rather not make it any of the council's business."

All eyes turn to Jake. I have _no_ idea what he's talking about. "What's wrong Jake?" Mom asks. "Yeah _Jake_," Seth growls, "what's wrong?" Jake ignores him. "It involves things Leah's been doing with her imprint," he goes on. "That's none of your business," I snap. Seth growls in agreement. "Jake," Mom replies, "Jude is her imprint. If they're together intimately…I can't very well be upset with her. She _is_ an adult." "I'm not talking about that," Jake snaps, "I'm talking about him _feeding_ on her."

That single statement seems to suck all of the air out of the room. "It's not right," Jake continues, "we're designed to protect humans from those that feed on human blood. I understand he's Leah's imprint…but I'm afraid if Sam or any of his pack get word of it…" he lets it drop. Mom turns and looks at me. "Is this true Leah?

"Sue," Julian pipes up, "let me explain." "It's not up for explanation," she says in her "I'm Mom" tone, "I want a simple yes or no answer first." "It's true," I admit. Mom gives me a scrutinizing look. "Mom," Seth warns, "hear the whole story first…please." Mom's eyes lock with mine and I plead with her to do what Seth said. She takes a deep breath. "Who wants to explain?" she asks.

"I do," Julian pipes up first. "Leah and I were attacked in Seattle yesterday by a lone vampire. I sent her to get us help while I held it off. We were in a semi-public place and I was afraid if she phased it would expose her. I was successful in holding the vampire off until Jasper arrived…but I was injured." Mom hasn't made a move. I don't think she's even blinked. "The attack left me with several broken ribs," he continues, "and rather than me trying to hunt with the injury Leah wanted me to drink from her. I took enough blood to heal my injury so I could hunt."

The good thing about Mom…and why I think her and Charlie are such a great match…is that Charlie is the one that will fly off the handle while Mom is more calculating in her decisions. She turns to me. "Is that true Leah?" she asks. I nod. "He was in pain," I explain, "and I can't have that Mom. It was easier this way." Mom nods thoughtfully. "I didn't think a vampire would want to feed off of a wolf," she says, thinking aloud. "Because you smell so bad to each other." "Julian and Nessie don't smell bad to us," Seth explains, "and they say we don't smell bad to them."

Mom turns to Seth. "Where were you when this happened?" she asks. "I was there," he replies. Mom nods. "Do you approve?" she asks. "Not only did I approve," he replies, "I encouraged it." Mom's eyebrows rise in surprise. "A wolf is supposed to be whatever his or her imprint needs," Seth explains. "If Julian needed blood to heal…why _wouldn't_ Leah give it? It's not like he could kill her. Frankly, it pisses me off that Jake would even bring it up."

Jake growls at Seth and Mom holds up her hand for silence. "Why?" Mom asks Seth. "If it had been Nessie hurt he would've _made_ her drink from him," Seth replies, "I just think it's hypocritical." Mom nods thoughtfully. "You did this willingly?" she asks me. I nod wholeheartedly. "Did it work?" she asks Julian. He nods in reply. "Were there any symptoms?" Mom asks. "I had a wound…obviously," I reply, "it healed rather quickly. I was also a little woozy…but no worse than when I gave blood in high school."

Mom then turns to Jake. "And you're concerned because Jude drank her blood or because you're afraid Sam will find out?" Jake takes a deep breath. "Both," he admits, "it was dangerous. They failed to mention he's venomous." Mom turns and looks at me with hard eyes. "I _can_ be venomous," Julian replies, "I can bite with our without it. I suspect all vampires can…they just never learn how not to." Mom looks at him. "She wasn't in any danger?" she asks. Julian shakes her head. "I was in complete control," Julian replies. "We had to talk him into it," I jump in, "he didn't want to risk it either."

"What about Sam?" Mom asks Jake. "Our relationship is already strained," Jake explains, "I'm afraid if it was found out Jude has had human blood it would start trouble." Jake takes a deep breath. "If Sam decided to push for Jude to be forced out we would refuse," he goes on, "which would force the other pack to come after him. I won't allow one of our imprints to be harmed."

What I thought was going to cause a mutiny among the pack has blown over…at least for me. Jake…being the alpha…is actually trying to protect Julian. Not only that, he's trying to protect the rest of the pack. Mom then turns to the one person at the table that hasn't said a word. "What do you think Quil?" Mom asks.

Quil hasn't spoken a word during the entire exchange. He takes a deep breath. "Our imprints trump everything," he says gravely, "even the pack or our tribe. When a wolf imprints…the things that are keeping said wolf grounded are no longer there. Only the imprint remains. To deny Leah the ability to stop her imprint's pain is wrong." He lets his head drop. "Like Embry," he continues, "I wouldn't have been able to watch…it goes against my nature as a protector. However, at the same time I _understand_ the necessity in it. Personally…unless it would cause direct harm to the pack or the tribe…I would refuse to get in the middle of an imprinting relationship." Mom nods thoughtfully at his words.

"I won't bring it up to the council," Mom decides, "like Quil said…it's not anyone's business except the wolf and their imprint." Everyone at the table nods in agreement. Mom then turns to me. "You and I are going to have a talk later," she comments. I swallow hard. Julian mirrors my actions. "No one's in trouble," she promises, "but I just think we should discuss this…alone."

Mom then turns to Julian. "What are your intentions?" she asks. Julian gives her a thoughtful look. "I don't have any," he replies, "except to enjoy her company." "You're her imprint," she says firmly. "I'm aware of that," he replies, "and I'm aware of how I feel about her. I want to talk to some of the imprints so I can figure the rest of it out." Mom gives him a slow nod. "You care about her?" she asks. Julian nods quickly. That brings the smile back to Mom's face. "When do you plan on this?" she asks. Julian shrugs. "Whenever Leah can set it up," he replies.

Mom and I share a look. "Maybe I could help," she suggests. Julian and I both shrug at the same time. "I know you haven't have the easiest time with the imprints Leah," Mom adds, "I'm sure I could make a meeting happen." "That would help," I agree. "Emily would be glad to talk," Seth comments. Mom nods in agreement.

That was the end of the drama. Mom began chatting happily with my imprint again. Seth and Embry joined in and soon there were laughs a plenty. Julian was his usual charming self and Mom seemed as captivated with him as she was when they first met. Esme played waitress and kept our cups filled and took dishes away. Mom never even noticed a vampire was in the room.

We sat there until almost lunch. "Come on Leah," Mom says finally, "we need go get food and get to cooking." I nod. Julian is the only guy that stands up when we do. Translation: he's the only one with any manners. I give him a slow kiss, savoring him since I'm going to be without him all afternoon. "Be there at six," Mom says. "On time with flowers," Julian promises. I raise up on my toes and put my mouth next to his ear. "Impress Charlie and I'll reward you when we get home," I promise. Julian grins. "I'll be on my best behavior," he replies.

Mom and I say goodbye to the Cullen's and go back to the truck. "Well?" I ask. Mom doesn't reply. "Mom?" I ask softly. She just shakes her head and walks around to the passenger's seat of Julian's truck. I bite my bottom lip and get in. Mom's face is expressionless as she climbs in and shuts her door.

"He's _perfect_ Leah!" Mom gushes as soon as the doors are shut. "Seriously, he's polite…and smart…and _so_ good looking. He's also strong. Not like Emmett or Jake strong…like mentally tough. He's just the type of guy I've always thought you needed. A strong woman needs a strong man." Mom's face looks like it's about to split. "And you're right…that accent is _sexy_." "Mom," I snap, "you're crushing on my imprint!" Mom begins giggling like a teenager. "Leah I'm _happy_," she explains, "you need this. You need _him_."

"So about the blood thing?" I ask. Mom…to my surprise…only shrugs. "Not my decision," she admits. I can't help but gawk. "Leah," she explains, "as hard as it is I have to not think about this as a human parent. I have to think like the mother of a Quileute shape shifter. Believe me…it's difficult. Seth was right…all you were doing was being what your imprint needed. Sure the thought of someone drinking your blood makes me shudder. However, that's a _human_ reaction…and you're not human."

"Can I tell you something?" I ask. "Sure honey," Mom replies. "I…enjoyed it," I admit. Mom doesn't look surprised. "Ok," she replies simply. "_Ok_?" I repeat. "I just told you my half vampire boyfriend drank my blood and I enjoyed it…and all you say is 'ok'?"

Mom rolls her eyes. "Besides learning to not think of everything as simply what a human would think, you know what else I've learned?" she asks. I shake my head. "I've learned that the majority of legends hold at least _some_ truth," she explains. I nod to show I'm following her. "Vampires drinking blood has been portrayed as a sensual experience over and over again," she explains, "which is one of the reasons a lot of literature claims they're impotent…because they get their pleasure from drinking blood and not sex. It doesn't surprise me in the least that if the man you're destined for were to drink your blood you would enjoy the experience."

"So I'm not…weird?" I ask. Mom shrugs. "What's 'weird' in our lives?" she asks. "Our family would be considered 'odd' even in the world of the supernatural. Leah, not everything is black and white…you should know that. To me, you enjoying Jude feeding on you is no more weird than some women enjoying having their hair pulled or being spanked during sex." She shrugs. "Truthfully, if it was dangerous…like if a full vampire was doing it…or if you were being pressured to do it, I would disapprove. However he can do it safely and you're ok with it. Therefore, I don't see what the big deal is."

We park at the grocery store and Mom and I get out. "What do you think Jude would like as a side?" Mom asks as we walk in. "He seems to like the basics," I reply, "like he'd rather have just green beans instead of a green bean casserole." "So he's easy to please," Mom comments. I nod in agreement. "Wine?" Mom asks as we got a buggy. "Not really," I reply, "he'll drink it but he's not a connoisseur." Mom nods thoughtfully. "Bread?" she asks. "Yeah," I reply, "he'd like rolls."

Mom decides to do scalloped potatoes, green beans, salad and rolls along with the salmon. "Beer?" Mom asks. I nod. "Any particular type?" Mom asks. "Budweiser," I reply, "same thing Charlie drinks. It must be an old man thing." Mom snorts with laughter. "What should I do for dessert?" Mom asks. "Jeez Mom," I grumble, "you trying to impress someone?" "Yeah," she snorts, "_your_ imprint."

We get the things to make a chocolate cake. We have a buggy full of groceries and it's to make one meal. "You know Julian won't eat as much as the rest of the guys…or me?" I ask. Mom smiles and nods. "About like Charlie?" Mom asks. "Maybe a little less," I admit. Mom only shrugs. "As long as he doesn't leave hungry," Mom comments. "He won't," I promise.

We load up the groceries and head back to Charlie's. "So what's with his name?" Mom asks. "His name is Julian," I explain, "the guys he served with started calling him Jude after the Beatles song." "'Hey Jude'," Mom comments. I nod. "His Dad kept it up when Julian got back because of Saint Jude." "Why?" Mom asks. "Patron saint of lost causes," I explain. Like Mom I wasn't up on Catholic dogma either. "So you call him Julian…" Mom prompts. "Because he's not a lost cause," I finish.

We unload the groceries and Mom makes us a sandwich. Mom then calls Charlie and tells him we'll be there for dinner. "He's excited," Mom says as soon as she hangs up, "since you've never brought a guy home." "He's not going to clean his gun or anything to try to intimidate Julian is he?" I ask. Mom shakes her head. "I doubt it," she admits. "He'd better not," I warn, "I'm sure Julian would scare Charlie more than he would scare Julian." Mom snorts in laughter.

Mom and I talk as I eat my sandwich while she begins preparing dinner. "So do you have any future plans now?" Mom asks. I sigh. "No," I admit, "since I don't know what's really happening with Julian it's still up in the air." "So he needs to make a decision?" Mom asks. "Yep," I reply, popping the 'p'. Mom nods thoughtfully. "He shouldn't keep you waiting," she comments.

"It's not like that Mom," I reply quickly, "he doesn't understand the magic like I do. That's why he wants to talk to the imprints." I bite my lip. "I think he's afraid…you have to admit, making a commitment like this without knowing what we know is difficult." Mom nods in agreement as she peels the potatoes. "Are you hoping talking to Emily will help him?" Mom asks. "I am," I admit.

"But what if it doesn't?" she asks. "Then I'm still going with him," I reply quickly. Mom frowns at that. "You don't agree?" I ask. "I agree," she replies, "but I don't like it." I don't know how to reply to that. "It's just like when you first shifted," Mom explains, "I knew it was your destiny…just like I know Julian is." Her head drops. "It's just knowing you may have to follow him…whether he returns your feelings or not…doesn't sit well with me."

We're quiet for a few minutes. "Mom," I finally reply, "I made a decision when I imprinted. I was wrong to try to kill myself. The magic of our people saved me not only from the future I feared but also from ending my life prematurely. I decided then that it was time to trust the magic. The magic says Julian is for me. I'm going to trust that. I have to…fighting it hasn't worked."

Mom nods thoughtfully as I make my declaration. "I don't disagree or disapprove Leah," she replies, "it's just you've had it so tough ever since you've shifted. I just wish the magic would give you a break." I bark out a laugh. "Nothing worth having is easy, right?" I ask. Mom doesn't reply.

"Tell me something?" She asks. "What's it like having an imprint?" "Amazing," I reply, "falling in love with Sam was nice and easy…but not this strong. When Julian and I locked eyes it was like suddenly everything just made sense." I think carefully. "Every cliché you can imagine just…_happened_. Every pain…every heartache…_gone_. For the first time in forever I felt like everything was going to be alright. Not…it _may be_ alright…it _will_ be alright."

"So it's like love at first sight but stronger?" Mom asks. "_Much_ stronger," I correct. Mom nods thoughtfully at that. "Do you feel…forced?" she asks. "I thought I would," I admit, "but can you really help who you fall in love with? All nature did was make my love stronger and give me an obvious clue he was my soul mate." I smile. "Honestly I feel so much better now that I have him, "I continue. "Like maybe things are finally on track."

"I'll call Emily," Mom promises, "I want to do anything I can to make this work." "Thanks Mom," I reply sincerely. "Are you going to be there?" Mom asks. "If Julian wants me," I reply. "It wouldn't hurt Leah," Mom comments, "it would ease both Julian _and_ Emily. She's not use to hybrids, remember?" "Yeah," I admit, "that's true." "It wouldn't hurt to mend that fence Leah," Mom says firmly, "now that you've felt what Sam felt." I nod in agreement, but don't comment.

My ears perk up as I hear a car pull up in the driveway. "Charlie's home," Mom comments. I nod. "You'll make him be nice?" I ask. "Only if you make Julian," she replies. We both have a laugh at that. "Sue," I hear Charlie call from the door, "Leah still here?" "I'm here Charlie," I call back. I hear the rustle that means he's removing his gun belt before he walks into the kitchen. "I need to start the grill?" he asks. "I've got it Hun," Mom replies, "put your feet up for a little while."

"When will Leah's new guy get here?" Charlie asks. "I told him to be here at six," Mom replies, "Seth, Embry, Jake, and Nessie are coming too." Charlie's face lights up hearing his granddaughter is coming. "Charlie," I pipe up, "just a warning. He's…like Nessie." "Like Nessie?" he asks. I nod. "He doesn't look his age," Mom explains. Charlie's smile drops slightly. "Older or younger?" he asks. "Older," I reply, "older than you or Mom." Charlie nods. "I probably don't want to know, do I?" he asks. "Probably not," Mom replies, "but I met him this morning. Trust me…you'll like him."

Charlie nods. "I'm sure I will," he replies, "he seemed like a decent fellow." "He is," I chime in, "and I like him a _lot_…so don't treat him like you used to treat Edward." Charlie holds up his hands in a gesture of surrender. "On my best behavior," he replies with a grin. I grin back. "Go ahead and straighten up the living room Leah," Mom orders, "I want to make a good impression."


	14. Chapter 14

(A/N Ok, I'm hoping now that the holidays are over with I can get back to posting on a regular basis. Thanks to all of you that have replied! Also while I'm noting, don't forget there's a Q/A on both this story or "History Repeating Itself" that gives some insight on what I was thinking when I wrote these. Also there will be a sequel to HRI and my new story "Cinnamon Girl" out this year. Keep watching!)

**No matter how much I begged Santa, he didn't bring me Twilight.**

CHAPTER 14-LEAH'S P.O.V.

Julian showed up with Nessie, Jake, Seth, and Embry right on time. He also showed up with not one but two dozen roses…one for me and one for Mom. He got yet another hug from Mom for that. I have my own way to thank him…but I can't do it in polite company. So I settled for kissing his cheek and patting his ass.

Once Charlie found out Julian was a more normal guy than Edward was (AKA Julian could talk baseball and fishing) he warmed right up to him. Julian…from his years as both an ER doctor and a paramedic…also knew a lot about police work and Charlie was able to talk about that too. It was weird to hear a half vampire talk about firearms though…since they don't need or use them…but Julian could keep up with Charlie just fine. It made sense once I thought about it…Julian's time in the military meant he had to know that stuff.

I gave Julian a heads up that Charlie knew he was "like Nessie" so Julian gladly shared some of his experiences with Charlie that weren't supernatural. They sat in the living room, drank beer, and passed stories until dinnertime. Charlie isn't much of a talker, so seeing him carrying an easy conversation with _anyone_ for longer than five minutes was impressive.

At first I thought it was Julian's allure that had Charlie in such a good mood. It was when we got to the table that I noticed something in Charlie's eyes. He would look at each of us…Julian, Jake, Nessie, Seth, Embry, and me…and would get a look on his face like he had received the best news a person could get. Mom was smiling too…but it was more her feeding off the good vibe going on at the table. It was amazing to watch.

After dessert, Mom sent Julian and Charlie back into the living room with beer to talk some more. I stayed around to help clean the kitchen. Seth and Embry went with our guys and Jake and Nessie stayed in the kitchen to help. "Charlie seems happy," Jake comments as he washes the dishes. "Yeah," I admit, "tonight went even better than I thought it would." "I wonder why," Nessie wonders aloud, "I mean I expect things to go well. It's just…Grandpa is acting like he's heard the best news in the world." Jake and I nod in agreement.

Mom comes over to the sink where we're gathered. "I know why," she whispers. We all three gather around her. "Charlie's been worried," Mom explains, "because of Nessie's accelerated growth. He's been afraid her life would be cut short. Seeing Julian…in his sixties and looking so young…is giving him such a feeling of relief." "I didn't think about that," Jake comments. "Me either," I admit.

"There's more," Mom continues, "it hasn't escaped his attention that none of Jake's pack is aging. I'm betting that Charlie now thinks…correctly…that you all are going to have longer than normal lives like Julian is." Mom smiles. "To know your children and grandchildren are going to live long, happy lives is what every parent wants."

"That's a stretch Sue," Jake comments. Mom shakes her head. "Charlie is very observant Jake," she explains, "not only has he noticed your lack of aging, he's noticed that no one…even Nessie as a child…never even got sick. Everyone gets sick…especially kids, Jake. Charlie may not want to know everything, but he's not ignorant of what's in front of his eyes." I nod in agreement. "What about Bella?" I ask. "Charlie's noticed that for as long as he's known Carlisle that he hasn't aged. He realizes that Bella will live like that. No…he doesn't know about her being a vampire. However he knows she will live a longer than average life with the man she loves." Mom shrugs. "It's all Charlie could ever hope for."

I fill Julian in on the conversation in the truck. "That's a sound theory," he comments as we drive home. We're alone in his truck. The rest of the pack is riding ahead with Jake and I've just filled Julian in on Mom's comments about Charlie. "Wouldn't you want to know your children might never die?" He asks. "We _can_ die," I correct, "I mean…we're designed to battle vampires, remember?" Julian nods. "I remember," he admits, "but other than vampires you don't have to die, right?" "Right," I agree. We're silent for a moment. "Oh my God!" I exclaim.

Julian's foot comes off the gas and towards the brake. "You ok?" he asks quickly. I nod dumbly. "Leah?" he asks again. "I'm ok," I squeak out, "I just realized I get you _forever_. That's…_wonderful_." Julian sighs in relief. "You planning on living forever?" Julian asks. "I didn't _plan_ on it," I admit, "but knowing it's possible…"

Knowing it's possible makes me feel warm inside. One of the downsides of our tribe is the lack of knowledge about imprinting. Specifically, we don't know what could happen to a wolf if they were to lose their imprints. The only clue we have is Taha Aki and the story of the Third Wife. Once the Third Wife…whose name is lost to history…sacrificed herself Taha Aki stayed in his wolf form and was never seen again.

Was his pain so great he couldn't handle it in his human form? Did he stay wolf forever? Did he live the life span of a normal wolf and die? Did he kill himself? No one knows. Hell, he could still be alive for all we know. That has worried me. I mean, the wolf can't _always_ die before their imprints, can they? I mean, sure, being a shape shifter is a dangerous occupation…but historically speaking so is being a woman. Childbirth was especially dangerous without modern medicine. So what happened to these wolves? We may never know…and that's why I feel relief.

Unlike the imprints of the wolves in Sam's pack, Julian's as immortal as I am. That means the things that can kill the other imprints…everything from car accidents to cancer…don't apply to Julian. The only things that _can_ kill him are things I can protect him from…and he can protect himself from. In the future Jared can't stop Kim from having a stroke or Paul can't cure cancer if Rachel gets it. It makes me feel like the magic has given me yet another advantage.

I curl up next to Julian and begin trailing kisses on his neck. "So I get my reward?" he asks smugly. "You've more than earned it," I purr in his ear as I nibble his earlobe. I feel his hand move up to caress my bare thigh. "We going to make it home," Julian asks, "or should I just pull over?" I let my hand ghost over the bulge in his jeans. "Turn in the Cullen's driveway," I suggest, "we'll stop there. I can't wait till we get home."

I give Julian just enough time to put the truck in park, turn off the lights, and shut it off before I'm on him again. My mouth is hungry and seeking against his. I pull him towards me so that he's not behind the steering wheel. He comes willingly…thought it's not like he has a choice. I'm tugging my panties off as soon as he's in the middle of the bench seat. "Antsy, aren't we?" he says around my kiss. "Very," I hum as I let my hands move to his belt. "Slow down," he whispers as his mouth moves to my ear, "I'm not going anywhere."

I shake my head as I begin fumbling with his belt. Something inside of me has snapped and I have to have him _now_. It's like the she-wolf in me has risen up while I'm in human form and is forcing me to claim my mate. I get his cock free…wrapping my hand around the base…and a growl escapes from deep in my chest. Our kiss deepens and I give him a gentle squeeze. Julian hisses in response. "I'm going to try something," I whisper as I break off the kiss, "and I've never done it before…so cut me some slack."

Not waiting for a reply I drop my head into his lap and tentatively take him in my mouth. Julian inhales sharply and lets his hands drop beside him. I'm flying blind here so I do the only thing I can think of: I think back to the more graphic images I've seen in the pack mind. It's really my only point of reference. I let my tongue swirl around the head and Julian gasps in response. I release him for a moment. "Like that?" I ask. "Yeah," Julian admits, "you're doing fine…just watch your teeth."

I take a deep breath and take him once again. I move carefully up and down, not taking much more than the head as I go. Julian's entire body relaxes underneath me. I let my tongue swirl around him again and take a little more. Julian lifts a hand up and caresses my head. He takes his other hand and takes my wrist. He then moves my hand in time with my mouth, so that I'm stroking him in time with the bobbing of my head. I purr in response…which causes his breathing to increase.

I taste a drop of pre cum on my tongue and I purr again. "Fuck Leah," Julian hisses between clenched teeth, "you keep that up I won't last long enough to fuck you." My imprint just said he wanted to fuck me. Not "make love" to me…or "have sex" with me…he said "_fuck_"me. That makes me even wetter…so wet I'm beginning to worry about staining the seat. I feel stretched holding him in my mouth but I keep going. I want him to say something dirty again.

I break off to give my mouth a rest and continue to stroke him. "You like my mouth?" I ask teasingly. I see his eyes darken in the dim light. "I'd like your pussy better," he replies with a growl. That's what I wanted…"pussy" sounds so dirty…and so sexy when he growls it. I let go of him and rise up before throwing my leg over so I'm straddling him. I find his mouth by feel and they collide with a frenzy. The urge to claim him has taken me over and I let said urge flow through me. "Ow!" he yells.

I freeze and feel him shifting underneath me. I shift to see Julian trying to pull his pants down. "Crushing my nuts," he explains. I wince in response. I don't want my imprint in pain…though I wish he'd hurry up. He tugs them down till they're around his ankles. "There we go," he whispers. I feel him brush against my now overheated core. I put both my hands on his face and pull his lips to mine once again. His hands slide up my dress to my bare hips and I purr against his mouth. I think take a deep breath and with one fluid movement impale myself on his cock.

_Impale_ is a good word because I move much too hard and take him much too deep. I can't bite back the cry as I surround him. Julian moves a hand to the back of my head and shushes me gently. I ignore him and begin to move. I'm doing exactly what my instincts are telling me…I'm _claiming_ him. There's no shame in my vocalization; I cry out I feel him all the way up in my stomach with each down stroke. Julian tries to slow me down but the resistance only turns my gliding into bouncing as I resist. The pain is _exquisite_…like a fine wine that I feast on as it fuels me to push onward.

I'm _hot_ now…which is rare. True my body temperature runs hotter than humans but due to the climate and the fact we don't wear many clothes it's not usually a problem. I half open my eyes and see condensation dripping down the back window as I feel the same dripping down the small of my back. I can feel my hair sticking to the side of my face and I chew on my bottom lip as I pick up my pace. My dress is soaked and I can taste my own sweat on my lips.

Julian wretches my arms off of him and yanks my dress over my head. The sudden coolness brings a brief respite. He then yanks my bra free in the back and I pull it off and throw it. He captures a nipple bouncing in front of his face in his mouth and I moan. I yank his shirt open and pull it off his shoulders. My nails dig into his shoulders as my orgasm rocks me to the depths of my being.

I shudder violently on top of Julian as the delicious mixture of pain and pleasure licks at my nerves. The plunge is both violent and peaceful all rolled into one. My cries echo through the cab and my ass begins to smack against his thighs as I bounce harder…both now wet from my arousal. Julian hisses as my nails dig into him and I feel his jaw lock around my breast to keep from biting my nipple off. "Julian," I cry, "God…YES!" His growl vibrates around my erect nub in his mouth as another climax sneaks in right behind the first one.

The second one was just as strong and just as sweet. I actually cried out louder this time simply from shock. I didn't expect it so soon and with such ferocity. It's so hot in the truck I can't breathe. I refuse to stop however. Julian is right with me, gripping my ass tightly, as my body seems to find another gear. I bounce harder…taking him all the way to the hilt…my body paying the price with each bounce. It's worth every bit of it.

Julian releases my nipple and I release his shoulder with one hand and pull his chin up so I can see into his eyes. They're ink black in the dim light. "Bring it to me," I demand, "give me what I want." Julian growls in response and I grin wickedly. I return my hand to his shoulder and let my nails claw up his neck. He hisses violently and that only pushes me onward.

I feel his body tense underneath me and his forehead press into my shoulder. I wrap my arms around his neck and cradle his head. I feel his hips buck underneath and I cry out louder. His cock twitches inside of me and then he cries out. I've never heard Julian make such a sound. It was both weak and fucking sexy all at the same time. I match it as his seed fills what little space is left inside of me.

As mind blowing as the first two orgasms were, this one topped them. I swear it was like dying and being born all at once. Angels sang from the heavens. Fireworks lit up behind my half-drooped eyes. I squeeze Julian tighter as my inner muscles seem to implode with the sensation. My whole body is quivering with exhaustion…my insides are sore…but my soul is filled with relief.

I ease back and gently kiss Julian's temple. He's panting just as hard as I am and I still feel him fluttering inside of me. We don't speak for several minutes. We both need the time to catch our breath. Julian's head rolls back against the seat as he concentrates on just breathing. I reach over and turn the key of the truck. I then lean over and lower the window. The cool night air causes Julian to shiver underneath me. I wrap my arms around him and pull him tighter against me.

"What the hell was that?" Julian asks softly. "Claiming what's mine," I reply firmly. "Yours?" he asks. I nod. "Mine," I repeat. Julian snorts. "Not necessary," he comments. "It was to me," I reply firmly. "Why?" Julian asks.

"You're not convinced," I explain, "about the magic of my people." "And you think you can fuck me into agreement?" he asks harshly. "No," I admit, "it just…felt right." Julian nods. "I'm not complaining," he replies, "that was pretty fucking hot Leah. But it's not what I need to convince me." "What _do_ you need?" I question, leaning my forehead against his.

Julian's eyes have faded back to blue. "It's not that easy for me Leah," he explains, "I can be with you, no concerns. We can go out…date…sleep together…all of that. It's just the whole 'we are destined' thing is…a little overwhelming." "A man afraid of commitment," I grumble, "this sounds familiar." "That's a little unfair isn't it?" Julian asks. "I mean…eliminate the imprint for a moment. If I told you on the first week of meeting you that we were destined to be together, wouldn't you be wary?" "But I _do_ feel it," I press. "I know," he replies, "and believe it or not so do I. The difference is you _know_ what you're feeling. I still need to sort it out. "Leah," he says, moving my hair out of my face, "I do want to be here. I do want to be here with you. I just want to know exactly what I'm feeling before I commit as deeply as you have."

I bite my bottom lip. "But you feel it?" I ask. Julian nods. "This longing to be with you when you're away," he replies, "this sense of peace when we're close enough to touch. Yeah…I feel it." "Will talking to Emily help?" I ask. He nods again. "I think so," he replies, "considering I've never felt this strongly about someone." I kiss him tenderly on the mouth. "I'm here for you," I whisper, "all I want is for you to be happy."

* * *

How the hell we slept in the front seat of his truck I'll never know…but we managed. I wake up on top of Julian with my head against his chest. Julian's leaned against the driver's door with his chin resting on the top of my head. We're dressed, but I don't remember doing that. Julian is still asleep under me and I wake up purring. I stretch carefully, not wanting to wake him.

"Wake up!" comes a booming voice from the window. Julian and I both leap up to fully awake, banging our heads on the roof. Emmett is outside the cab of the truck laughing his ass off. "Fuck," Julian hisses. "Oh, that was _classic_," Emmett booms, leaning against the hood. "You're a dirty, dirty bastard," Julian grumbles. "Am I?" Emmett asks, holding up my torn bra. "Emmett," I hiss, "leave before I take a chunk out of your dead ass!" Emmett drops my bra, but the smirk never leaves his face. "Jeez," he grumbles, "you people that sleep sure are grouchy in the morning."

I do a quick check to make sure the rest of my clothes are in place. Except for my sandals…and my bra obviously…I'm covered. Julian's shirt is open. I popped the buttons off when I snatched it open but otherwise he's covered. "You missed breakfast," Emmett comments, "but lunch isn't too far off." "Anyone miss us last night?" Julian asks. "Nah," Emmett replies, "we figured as long as you two were together you'd be alright. Besides…Edward caught your minds when you pulled up last night. You should've seen him haul ass back to the cottage with Bella."

I roll my eyes and try to fix my hair in the rearview mirror. "Comb's in my glove compartment," Julian comments. I untangle myself from Julian and dig it out. My hair is tangled to hell and I wince as I pull out the knots. "I guess I'll be taking the walk of shame with you this morning," Julian remarks. I can't help but grin at that. "I'd offer you my clothes," I reply dryly, "but I _really_ don't want to see you in a dress." Julian and Emmett both laugh. I finally finish with my hair and replace the comb. "Hop in big man," Julian tells Emmett, "we're headed that way."

Emmett leaps lightly into the back of the truck and Julian drives to the house. Carlisle and Esme are sitting on the porch when we pull up. "How did dinner go?" Esme asks as soon as we get out. "Really well," Julian replies, "Sue is an excellent cook and Charlie and I seemed to hit it off really well." Esme beams at him. "Did you stay over there last night?" she asks. "Um," Julian says carefully, "no…we camped out last night." I can't hide my smile at Julian blushing…though I'm right there with him." "They were asleep in the truck at the end of the driveway," Emmett chimes in, "curled up on the seat like two teenagers that were dreading going home to face getting grounded."

I give Emmett my best glare, which doesn't work at all. I'm not surprised…he lives with Rosalie. _That_ woman's glare could bore a hole through steel. "Lunch will be ready in about an hour," Esme says, ignoring Emmett, "I'm sure you two are hungry since you slept through breakfast." Julian and I nod in agreement. "I'm going to get a new shirt," Julian comments.

Julian goes to his trailer and Esme begins quizzing me on what all we had for dinner and what all was discussed. She seemed pleased that Julian made a good impression with "the in-laws". That statement made me smile. Julian came back and sat on the edge of the porch to smoke. I've noticed he's doing that less and less. I wait till he's finished and sit beside him. I see him smile when I lean my head on his shoulder.

Esme goes inside to finish lunch and Renesmee comes out. She begins talking to both Carlisle and Julian about medical school. She's considering following in her dad and granddad's footsteps…at least for their next stop. It seems Ms. Renesmee has taken Julian's advice to heart and has really thought about some of the things she wants to do in the future. Architecture is mentioned…so is veterinary medicine, graphic design, and even botany.

It's a nice change from the Nessie I've grown accustomed to. The old Nessie wanted to do nothing except dress up, drive expensive cars, and marry Jake. She still wants to marry Jake…and have "puppies" as she puts it…but after her talk with Julian, she wants to actually "be productive". Carlisle is all smiles about her change. I must say that I'm impressed myself.

"What about you Leah?" Carlisle asks. I lift my head off Julian's shoulder and peer quizzically at Carlisle. "Do you have any future plans?" he asks. "I haven't had any plans in a long time," I admit. "Why?" Nessie asks. "You know why," I reply, "because the last time I made any plans they blew up in my face and I morphed into a giant wolf. Besides, it's not like I can make any plans right now." "Why's that?" Julian asks.

"There's too much going on," I reply simply. Julian gives me a funny look. "I need to know where we stand first," I explain, "my place is with you." "So you don't have a life besides me because of the imprint?" Julian asks. "Sure I do," I reply, "you just come first. I can do anything Julian as long as you're part of it." Julian's eyes get hard. "That's…wrong," he says firmly.

"Jude," Carlisle pipes up, "it's no different than loving someone. You make sacrifices for those you love. You make them without a second thought. Don't feel like Leah's trapped by you…I'm sure _she_ doesn't." I turn to Julian and nod quickly in agreement. "I want to make you happy Julian," I whisper, "even if that means I watch you live your life from a distance. As long as you're happy…" I let it drop.

"I'm sorry you don't have a choice," Julian whispers. "I don't _want_ a choice," I reply, "Julian…I can't say this enough. You've brought hope back into my world…and I'll never be able to thank you enough for that." "But to follow me regardless of what I decide?" he presses. I shrug. "I'm trusting the magic," I reply firmly, "just like a normal human would believe in love. It'll work or it won't. I've spent long enough not believing in anything…including myself. So I'm going to believe in this."

Jake comes outside and interrupts our conversation. "Lunch is ready," he announces, "and phone's for you Leah." He hands it to me. "I'll save you a seat," Julian whispers before kissing me on top of the head. I wait until everyone is inside before I answer. "Hello?" I ask into the phone.

"Leah?" a familiar voice says back. "Emily?" I ask. "Oh Leah!" Emily exclaims. "How are you?" "Good," I admit, "very good actually." "Your mom called me," Emily explains, "thought it would be a good idea for us to catch up." "That's an understatement," I admit. "So?" Emily asks. "You first," I press.

Emily fills me in on her soon to be larger family. Sam is about to stop phasing though he hasn't named whom will replace him as Alpha. Jared and Paul…who have already stopped phasing…are going to retire fully with him to age with their imprints. Sam and Emily have a five-year-old son named Thad and a three-year-old daughter named Susan. Emily is expecting their third child…a girl…any day now.

We fall back in like nothing happened between us. As nasty as I was to Emily after Sam's imprint she is nothing but forgiving towards me. I cry and beg her for forgiveness anyway. She shushes me over the line and assures me it's all but forgotten. Emily is a much better person than I am…no doubt about it. I feel like a total bitch for how I've treated her…and I can't stop begging even when she says she's forgiven me.

"I understand how you feel now," I sob into the phone. "You do?" Emily asks in a puzzled voice. "Mom didn't tell you?" I ask. "Tell me what?" Emily asks back. "All she said was we should talk." "I'm shocked," I reply, wiping my eyes. "I didn't think she'd keep it a secret." "What secret?" Emily asks. I take a deep breath, but don't respond. "You have a new guy Leah?" Emily prompts. "Yeah," I admit, "I imprinted."

Emily squeals in delight at my declaration. "You _did_?" she gushes. "Yep," I reply, "Monday." "Leah," Emily gushes, "that's _wonderful_. Tell me…what's he like?" "Perfect," I admit, "but isn't that what all the wolves say?" "Oh Leah," Emily continues, "I'm so happy. Please tell me we can meet him soon."

"Funny you should mention that," I remark, "he wants to meet the other imprints." "He knows about us?" Emily asks. "Let's just say he's a special case," I reply, "even to be _my_ imprint." "I see," she replies though it's obvious she doesn't. "You busy today?" I ask. "No," she says, her happy tone back, "you want to bring him?" "Yeah," I reply, "but can we keep it between us? He's going to get enough shit about being my imprint…I'd rather introduce him slowly." "Gotcha," she replies, "how soon can you be here?" I think for a moment. "After we eat," I reply, "if that's ok?" "Perfect," she replies, "Sam's got the kids so we'll have the house to ourselves." "Ok," I agree, "we'll see you after lunch."


	15. Chapter 15

**Don't own Twilight. Team Sandwater is the closest I'll ever get.**

CHAPTER 15-LEAH'S P.O.V.

Julian and I eat quickly and after a quick shower we hop on his bike and head to La Push. He's been strangely quiet since I told him where we were going. I get the impression he needs the time with his thoughts and I give it to him. The entire ride I keep my arms around his waist and my head against his back. This way Julian has his time to think but knows I'm there for him.

Emily is sitting on the porch waiting when Julian pulls out in front of the house. She's not alone. Kim and Rachel…the other adult imprints…are with her. "I thought it was going to be just us," Julian comments softly. "Me too," I admit, "but they're the other two adult imprints." Julian shrugs. "All right," he relents, "let's see where this takes us." He dismounts and holds out his hand to help me.

All three women suck in an audible breath as Julian takes off his helmet. I remove mine and watch them. Emily has an easy smile on her face. Rachel and Kim aren't as comfortable. In fact they're all but hiding behind the very pregnant Emily. If I wasn't so pissed off about it…it might be comical. They obviously recognize Julian isn't completely human. Julian doesn't seem put off by it. Emily comes right up and hugs me. I wrap my arms tightly around her…careful with her stomach. We hold that pose for a long time. No one speaks as I reconnect with my cousin.

We finally break apart and I turn so I can see all three women. "This is Julian," I announce. Emily immediately holds out her hand. "Emily Uley," she says. Julian gently takes her hand. "Julian Sanders," he replies, "y'all can call me Jude." Emily smiles. "The shy ones behind me are Rachel and Kim," she replies. Julian gives them a small smile and a polite nod. Kim smiles back but Rachel remains stoic. "Leah," Rachel says, "can we talk to you inside…_alone_?"

Emily gives her a hard look. "You all go ahead," Kim pipes up, "I'm going to smoke one before we get started." Julian pulls his cigarettes out of his pocket. "Mind if I join you?" he ask politely. Kim shoots me a nervous look. "He doesn't bite Kim," I snap. Well…he bites me but Kim doesn't need to know that. Julian nods in agreement. "Um…ok," she concedes. Rachel holds the door open and I follow Emily inside. I catch Julian lighting Kim's cigarette as Rachel files in behind me.

"He's not human," Rachel whispers fiercely as soon as the door's closed. "He's a hybrid…like Nessie," I explain. Emily's smile widens but Rachel scowls. "Julian's completely safe guys," I assure them. "You could've given us a heads up," Rachel points out. "I didn't know you were going to be here," I explain, "and I warned Emily that he would be…different." Emily laughs. "You said he was going to get enough shit about being your imprint," she adds, "and that you wanted to introduce him slowly. I see what you mean now."

"Are you sure he's safe?" Rachel goes on. We then hear laughter from outside. Emily leans slightly back to look out the kitchen window. "He's won Kim over," Emily comments. I look with her. Kim is laughing and looks completely at ease with Julian. "Told ya," I grumble. Rachel takes a deep breath. "Leah's imprint is welcome here," Emily tells her. "I agree," Rachel admits, "I'm sorry Leah. I was just…_really_ surprised."

The Leah before Julian would've bitten Rachel's head off. However now all I bite is my tongue. Julian wanted to talk to the imprints…the imprints are all here…mission accomplished. Me showing my ass won't help Julian. "Now that that's settled," Emily says, waddling towards the kitchen, "I'm anxious to meet the guy." "I'll get em," I reply. "I'll make coffee," Rachel volunteers, "I know Kim will want some…and I drink it. Does he?" I nod. Rachel looks surprised for a moment, but finally shrugs and follows Emily.

I walk outside to see Kim laughing her head off. Instead of standing on the other side of the porch like I expected, Kim is standing within arms reach of Julian. If she's scared of him, she's doing a damn good job of hiding it. "Everything ok?" I interrupt softly. "We're good," Julian replies, snuffing out his cigarette on the heel of his boot. Kim puts her out on the porch rail. I take his hand and lead him into the house. Kim follows right behind us.

We walk into the kitchen where Kim and Emily are waiting. "When are you due Mrs. Uley?" Julian asks. "Any day now," she replies, "and please…call me Emily." Julian nods and walks over to the chair across from her. All three women inhale sharply as he removes his hoodie and drapes it over the back of the chair. I can't help but grin. He's wearing one of his gray U.S.M.C. shirts that shows off the muscles…and he's all _mine_.

Rachel pours coffee for everyone but Emily and we all sit down. For the next hour I fill the women in on my life up until this moment. I tell them about not being able to stop phasing, figuring out why I couldn't, trying to kill myself, and Julian saving me. I then tell them about coming down the stairs at the Cullen's house and making eye contact. All three women smile at that…remembering when their wolves did the same thing.

Julian then tells them about his life. He starts from birth, of course. He tells them of Delilah dying in childbirth…like all hybrids before Nessie…and of being raised by his dad. He then tells them of his falling out with Solomon…going into the Navy…and Vietnam. The imprints listen spellbound as he tells them about faking his death in Saigon and coming back to the U.S. I jump in to tell them Jasper had confirmed Julian's story and give them the rundown of his service record. Like Mom, they're obviously impressed. Julian…wanting to get off the subject…tells them of Solomon becoming a 'vegetarian' while Julian was gone. He tells them of doing like the Cullen's and going to high school and college.

Lastly Julian tells them of running into Maria and Solomon dying. He tells them the truth about why he's here: he was on his way to Denali to see if he could find the Cullen's because of Nessie. Rachel frowns slightly at this but I'm fine. I don't care if he came here to kidnap the mayor of Forks as long as he's here. He tells them about feeling a tug in his chest while hunting that led him to my car and me.

"Wow," Emily gushes, "that's amazing." Rachel and Kim nod in agreement. "So what now?" Kim asks. "That's why I'm here," Julian admits, "Leah's awesome…I can't deny that. However, the whole 'we're destined to be together' is kind of hard to wrap my head around. I want to talk to some of you that have been in my shoes…see if you can give me some insight."

"What do you want to know?" Kim volunteers. Julian sips his coffee and takes a deep breath. "What did you three think?" Julian asks. "I mean, when you were told about the imprinting…how did you come to terms with it?" All three women look at each other. "You…aren't convinced?" Kim asks. Julian shrugs. "Of how I feel," he replies, "yes…I am. How it relates to Leah and me…not quite." The three women look at each other again. "Well," Rachel asks, "who wants to go first?"

"I will," Kim replies quickly. Julian nods for her to go ahead. "All three of our situations…four if you include Leah's now…were under different circumstances," Kim explains. "I'm pretty sure all cases of imprinting are unique in some way. For me, I'd had a crush on Jared since third grade…but he never noticed me. Then he's sick for a couple of weeks…comes back with a hell of a lot more muscles…and all it took was one look." Kim takes a deep breath. "I didn't understand what had changed," she goes on, "why he was all of a sudden was interested. It took me a while to come around."

"So what's your opinion of being an imprint?" Julian asks. "I love it," Kim admits, "Jared is perfect for me. You'll never find anyone that will love you like Leah will, Jude. It's that simple." Julian nods. "How do you feel about it being forced?" Julian asks. "I don't," Kim replies, "but then again, I was already in love with Jared." "What about Jared?" Julian asks. "How do you feel about _him_ being forced to love _you_?"

"He isn't forced," Kim replies firmly, "he's only forced to protect and take care of me. Love comes later." Julian snorts. "I don't agree with that either," Rachel chimes in, "Paul was telling me he loved me the first week." "I've already admitted it to Julian," I add. "Sam didn't," Emily pipes up, "but then again our situation was…strained…for a lot of different reasons." Emily and I share a look.

"On paper Paul was the worst choice for me," Rachel interrupts. I get the impression she wants to save Emily for last simply because it's a difficult conversation. "Paul was arrogant and had a nasty temper. When it was found out he had imprinted on me I was horrified." Julian is paying rapt attention. "It took us a long time to come to terms with it," Rachel admits, "but that time was what showed me how perfect Paul was. He let me grow into the idea of being an imprint. Now I'm happier than I ever imagined."

"But no feeling of being forced?" Julian asks. "Nope," Rachel replies quickly, "just like any other person, all I've ever wanted is to love someone and have them love me. Paul is that and more." "What about Paul?" Julian asks. "Do you get the feeling he's stuck with you?" Rachel shakes her head. "Paul treats me like a queen…not like a burden," she replies. "Honestly I think the imprints make the wolves better. It's like having us to come home to makes their burden of being protectors easier."

"Is that it Jude?" Emily asks. All heads turn to the head of the table. "Do you feel you're not good enough for Leah? Is your biggest concern that Leah's stuck with _you_?" Julian's eyes drop and I gasp softly. I can feel his pain in reaction to the question. "You three are human," Julian replies, "I've killed twelve vampires and at least a hundred humans in my lifetime. I need blood to survive. Let's just say I'm a little…tougher…for a wolf to have to deal with." Emily laughs at that.

"Sam was the first wolf this generation," Emily replies, "which means I was the first imprint." Emily looks at me. "Jude know our story?" she asks. "The highlights," I admit. Emily nods and turns back to Julian. "Sam was engaged to Leah when he first shifted," Emily explains, "but when he imprinted…it was on me. I was as heartbroken as Leah was. To think…the woman I considered my sister's fiancée was suddenly in love with me."

Julian nods and Emily continues. "If anyone knows about feeling like a wolf is stuck with them, it's me," she continues. "It took months of Sam coming to visit me before we could even talk about it." Emily touches the scarred side of her face. "Sam did this," she says flatly, "when he was still young. I yelled at him and cursed him…blaming him for destroying my relationship with Leah. Sam didn't have the control he has now and I was too close when he phased."

Emily's eyes lock with Julian's. "Sam was so distraught he wanted to die," she goes on, "and he spends every day showing me that he only sees me…not my scars. You don't feel that kind of love for someone if that person is forced on you." Emily smiles. "If you're worried that Leah is under the imprinting spell, forget it," she finishes, "because all imprinting does is point you to the right person. Maybe if the magic was wrong the wolf or the imprint would feel forced…but it's not."

I rest my hand on Julian's knee. "I don't feel forced," I say softly, "I feel _complete_." "What about the theory about passing the shifter gene?" Julian asks. "Been shot down," Emily replies, "if that was true Leah would've already been imprinted on by someone here…her pedigree combined with one of the other wolves would guarantee the gene would be passed. Before you, yeah that was the theory. Now that someone _has_ imprinted on Leah, it means those theories are out the window." "And I'm still infertile," I add, "no change there."

"Jude," Kim chimes in, "no relationship is easy…not even if you find your perfect match. Just go with it. I promise it'll work." Julian nods but his eyes are far away. I squeeze his leg to comfort him. "You ready for a smoke break?" Kim asks. Julian nods. They stand up and walk outside.

"Ok Leah," Rachel leans in to whisper, "you've won the award for 'Best Imprint'." I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. "Seriously," she goes on, "you need more than human for you girl. It's about time the magic cut you a break." Emily nods in agreement. "You have such a strong personality Leah," Rachel goes on, "you need someone equally strong to complete you." "I have no complaints about him," I assure them.

"What did he mean he's killed humans?" Emily asks. "Was he talking about being a soldier…or is there something else?" "Shortage of animals in a war zone," I explain, "so he's had to resort to feeding on the enemy." "His control ok?" Emily asks. "As good as Carlisle's or Edward's," I assure her, "I've been in public with him several times and he hasn't even growled at a human." Emily beams at me. "He's tough too," I add, "he's destroyed more vampires than Sam or Jake." "Wow," Rachel comments. Emily and I nod in agreement."

Kim and Julian come back inside and Emily excuses herself. I notice her wince as she stands up. "Tomorrow or the next day," she says proudly as she waddles towards the back of the house. I can't help but smile…though I would love to be in her place. Not with Sam…with child. "Where are the kids?" I ask. "Sam's got them," Kim replies, "he works a half day at least once a week to give Emily a break." Julian smiles at that. "You should come around more Leah," Rachel remarks, "everyone would like to see you."

I snort at that. "What's that for?" Julian asks, questioning my reaction. "You wouldn't believe us," Kim answers. "Try me," Julian replies. "The Leah you know isn't the same Leah we've known," Rachel explains. I don't answer. "It's true," Kim adds, "seeing Leah now is all the proof I need that you're good for her." "What do you mean?" Julian asks. Both girls look at me.

"Tell him," I relent. "Leah was…bitter," Kim explains, "for a long time. She was bitter for lots of reason…Sam, being the first girl wolf, and not being able to have kids…just to name a few. She has a reputation for being…" She stops. "A harpy?" Rachel offers. Julian looks at me. "It's true," I admit, "but I've told you this." "I think it just reaffirms what you've told him," Kim comments, "hearing it from another perspective."

Emily comes in with a photo album. "Jude," she asks as she huffs and sits down, "did you know a Malcolm Young?" "Chief?" Julian asks, "yeah…Marine with First Recon. I was saddled with him in…" Julian thinks for a moment. "1967 I think." "He was wounded during Tet in '68," Emily explains. Julian nods and Emily produces a picture. "See anyone you know ladies?" she asks.

The picture shows twelve men…six kneeling and six standing behind them. Top row…second from the left…is Julian. "Holy shit," Kim breathes. Rachel nods in agreement. All twelve men are wearing combat fatigues with the jungle in the background. "Dad was shot in the hip," Emily explains, "and told me this guy right here…" She points at Julian, "patched him up and carried him over half a mile to the evac chopper." "Chief was your granddad?" Julian asks. "Ain't that some shit."

"Why did you call him 'Chief'?" Rachel asks. "Any Native American in a unit usually got tagged with the nickname 'Chief'," Julian explains. "Racist, isn't it?" I ask. Julian shakes his head. "Racism is pointless in a combat zone," he explains, "and it happened to everyone. We had three guys of Italian descent. Their nicknames were Wop #1, Wop #2, and Wop #3. A black guy would get saddled with 'Eight Ball' or 'Snowball'. Irish it was 'Mick' or 'Red' if they had the hair. Everyone usually got a nickname." Julian grins. "This guy," he says pointing to the guy kneeling in front of him, "was 'Tex'. The guy on the end beside him was 'Smooth'." He shrugs. "What was yours?" Kim asks. "Dad called him 'Doc'," Emily pipes up, "'Sandy' when he'd been drinking. He always felt he owed Jude."

"Sandy?" I ask. "No one called me that to my face," Julian replies. "It was either 'Jude' or 'Doc'…mostly 'Doc'." We're quiet for a minute. "How'd he die?" Julian asks. "Had a heart attack when I was seventeen," Emily replies, "walked with a limp my entire life." "He's lucky he made it back," Julian comments. Emily nods in agreement. "I'm serious Jude," Emily comments, "about twice a year he would buy a bottle of bourbon and sit at the kitchen table looking at all his old scrapbook stuff. I was ten I think when I first heard him tell me about his war experience. He never got angry or teary when he drank...but I knew it bothered him. He always said if I ever ran into you after he was gone to thank you for making sure he made it out alive." She smiled. "Always bourbon when he was remembering," she comments, "his 'Doc' being a southern boy was his reason."

I squeeze Julian's arm and see him give a shy smile. "That's awesome," Kim comments. Julian nods in agreement. "There's another old Marine on the reservation," I comment, "Quil's granddad." Julian cocks his eyebrow at me. "Wasn't he wounded too?" Rachel asks. Emily nods. "1970 I think," she replies. "We'll have to make sure you meet him," I remark. Julian pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes. "I seem to remember putting a Native American back together around that time," he comments, "somewhere near the Cambodian border I think."

Emily winces again. "Contractions are getting regular," she comments. "This your third child?" Julian asks. She nods. "You know they come progressively faster," Julian comments, "each labor is usually shorter than the one prior." "I've heard," she replies, "but I've got time."

Julian's phone rings and he answers it quickly. "Ok Alice," he replies, "we'll be home soon." He closes the phone. "It's going to rain soon," he comments, "we need to get back since we're on the bike." "We'll walk you out," Emily answers, "provided you two promise to come back." Julian smiles. "I think it can be arranged," he replies. He then takes my hand and all four of us walk towards the door.

Hugs are exchanged as we step off the porch. Kim and Rachel even hug Julian. He promises we'll visit…which is fine with me. Anything to keep him happy and with me. I freeze as a low growl comes from the tree line. "Oh shit," I hiss, but it's too late.

A blur comes flying from the wood line straight at Julian whose between it and Emily. Julian spins around at the sound and crouches…going strictly by instinct. It's a wolf I almost don't recognize. "Brady no!" Kim yells. Her scream is ignored as the wolf leaps at Julian. Julian has two choices: stand still and get hit or move and Emily gets hit.

Julian snarls and sidesteps Brady, catching him around the neck with his right arm. He then proceeds to drop left hands right between the wolf's eyes. Julian gets off four shots…with the same force as a sledgehammer…before I can step in between them. Julian snarls as my face comes into view. His eyes are pitch black and his lips are curled back around his teeth. He looks like a textbook vampire. "Emily!" comes a concerned voice from behind us. I turn around and come face-to-face with Sam.

Jared, Paul, and Colin are with him. Colin is still in wolf form but the rest are in cut-off shorts. Jared hurries to get between Julian and his imprint. Kim reaches forward and grabs his hand. She's obviously frightened. "Who the hell is this?" Paul snarls, pulling Rachel behind him. Julian is still in a crouch and his eyes are still that scary ink black. He drops an unconscious Brady without an ounce of compassion. "It's ok Sam," Kim calls from behind Jared, "this is Jude…Leah's imprint."

"He's a…vampire," Sam stammers. "Hybrid," I correct, "like Nessie." "Sam," Emily cries out as she falls towards her left. Jared catches her before she falls. "My water just broke," she whimpers. Sam glares at Julian before kneeling to Emily. "Ok baby," he soothes, "I've gotcha. We're going now." Emily's eyes are wide and frightened. "No Sam," she says through gritted teeth, "the baby is coming _now_."

I hear yelling and turn to see Paul is nose-to-nose with Julian. "You're not welcome leech," Paul hisses. Paul's at least four inches taller than Julian is but they're built similar. Julian has Paul beat by decades in experience. "Get out of my face before I crack your skull like I did that other puppy," Julian hisses back. Rachel moves over to grab Paul and I get in between them and put a hand on Julian's chest. "Get him out of here Leah," Sam orders. I growl. He's not my alpha…Jake is. "Sam," Emily hisses. Her jaw is locked and her face is white with pain. "Sam…I need a doctor." "We have to get you to the hospital," Sam says, moving to pick her up. "What about the leech?" Paul asks.

Julian growls again and I put a hand on his cheek to shush him. I'm not afraid of Julian and I want him calm. "Deal with him Jared," Sam barks, "I've got to get Emily to a doctor." Jared nods. Kim eases up her grip on his hand. Colin…still in wolf form…moves closer to Jared, his eyes locked on Julian. "Need…doctor," Emily gasps. "Sam," Julian calls out confidently. Sam's head snaps to my imprint. "I'm a doctor," Julian tells him.

"No fucking way," Paul calls out, "Sam…you can't let a leech treat Emily." "She's not going to make it Sam," Julian says, ignoring Paul. "Sam," Emily cries out, "let…him." Sam turns to Emily. "Baby," he says softly, "I…can't." "I won't hurt her Sam," Julian promises, "I've delivered babies before." "Let him Sam," I chime in. "Fuck that," Paul chimes in, "let's get the girls out of here and kick us some vampire ass."

I cross my arms over my chest. Did that dumbass not hear when I said Julian was a hybrid…_and_ my imprint? Emily screams as another contraction hits. "Too…close," she pants, "contractions…too…close." Sam's face looks like it's about to crumple. "Let's go Sam!" Paul yells. Julian…to my surprise…drops back into a crouch.

Instantly every other wolf…including Sam…crouches in response. Julian's eyes lock on Sam's. "Sam," Julian says softly, "you need to listen to your imprint." Paul growls in response. Julian's eyes begin swirling…this time from black to blue instead of vice versa. "Listen. To. Your. Imprint." Julian repeats in a soft, rhythmic voice. I look at Sam. His jaw is dropped and his eyes are glazed. Sam turns and looks at Emily. "Let him Sam," she whispers, her eyes shut tightly against the pain.

Sam's jaw closes with an audible snap. Julian…knowing he couldn't just make Sam let him treat Emily…hypnotized Sam instead into listening to Emily. He did that because he knew _that_ was something Sam would do. Sam gathers Emily up in his arms. "In the house," Sam orders. Julian nods in agreement. "Anyone with a weak stomach might want to stay out here," Julian orders. "Leah…I'm going to need your help."

"Do I need to call Carlisle?" I offer. My suggestion is met with a chorus of snarls. "Ok…ok," I grumble, "just a thought." "No time," Julian replies, ignoring the crowd. He takes my hand and begins following Sam. Everyone but Colin tries to file in behind us. "We don't need an audience," Julian snaps. "_You_ do," Paul snarls. I look at Rachel. "We're staying outside Paul," she says firmly. Paul opens his mouth to argue. "Take care of Brady," I suggest. Colin comes out of the woods pulling up his shorts. "What _did_ he do to Brady?" Jared comments.


End file.
